Zysoclaplem

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2003
8,799
0
0
My bf has been talking to this other gay guy he goes to school with alot lately. He refers to me as his room-mate when talking to this guy. He is younger and better looking than me, and it upsets me that he talks to him. Is this a natural feeling? I know what gay guys have on their minds, and it's nothing good natured.
I don't want to be a jerk, but I don't want my bf to up and decide he likes this guy better. I'm not saying he will, I just always fear the worst. But on the other hand I don't want to dictate who anyone can talk to. I am just scared.
 

Hankerton

Golden Member
Apr 11, 2003
1,814
0
0
It's one of those things where if they're going to cheat, they're going to cheat. Not much you can do about that. Your better off just trusting your partner and hoping for the best. If he was willing to cheat on you in the first place, then you're better off finding someone else.

Just my 2 cents.

EDIT: Just had this discussion with my g/f last night. Better to be open about it.
 

captains

Diamond Member
Mar 27, 2003
4,065
1
0
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
My bf has been talking to this other gay guy he goes to school with alot lately. He refers to me as his room-mate when talking to this guy. He is younger and better looking than me, and it upsets me that he talks to him. Is this a natural feeling? I know what gay guys have on their minds, and it's nothing good natured.
I don't want to be a jerk, but I don't want my bf to up and decide he likes this guy better. I'm not saying he will, I just always fear the worst. But on the other hand I don't want to dictate who anyone can talk to. I am just scared.

time for YABT.ORG
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,844
1,049
126
take out the words gay and bf and you simply have another YAGT. Nothing different about the scenario.
 

Zanix

Diamond Member
Feb 11, 2003
5,568
12
81
YABT? You might have to wail on this guy. I'm not sure if the laws of women apply to teh boiz....

:confused: sorry.
 

conjur

No Lifer
Jun 7, 2001
58,686
3
0
Originally posted by: rh71
take out the words gay and bf and you simply have another YAGT. Nothing different about the scenario.
That's what I was thinking. Eyes will wander, lust will develop, jealousy will form. Fact of life. Either he's going to find more interest in this other guy or he's not.

Have you talked with him about your feelings of jealousy?
 

Zysoclaplem

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2003
8,799
0
0
Originally posted by: conjur
Originally posted by: rh71
take out the words gay and bf and you simply have another YAGT. Nothing different about the scenario.
That's what I was thinking. Eyes will wander, lust will develop, jealousy will form. Fact of life. Either he's going to find more interest in this other guy or he's not.

Have you talked with him about your feelings of jealousy?

I am not jealous of this guy. I don't even know him. I am just scared. It's been 3 years. May'be I am just a worrier.
 

conjur

No Lifer
Jun 7, 2001
58,686
3
0
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: conjur
Originally posted by: rh71
take out the words gay and bf and you simply have another YAGT. Nothing different about the scenario.
That's what I was thinking. Eyes will wander, lust will develop, jealousy will form. Fact of life. Either he's going to find more interest in this other guy or he's not.

Have you talked with him about your feelings of jealousy?

I am not jealous of this guy. I don't even know him. I am just scared. It's been 3 years. May'be I am just a worrier.
Sounds like you're in denial. Why else would you be scared if you weren't jealous?
 

Zysoclaplem

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2003
8,799
0
0
Originally posted by: conjur
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: conjur
Originally posted by: rh71
take out the words gay and bf and you simply have another YAGT. Nothing different about the scenario.
That's what I was thinking. Eyes will wander, lust will develop, jealousy will form. Fact of life. Either he's going to find more interest in this other guy or he's not.

Have you talked with him about your feelings of jealousy?

I am not jealous of this guy. I don't even know him. I am just scared. It's been 3 years. May'be I am just a worrier.
Sounds like you're in denial. Why else would you be scared if you weren't jealous?

I am not jealous of this guy, I don't even know him. Why would I be jealous of something I already have? I am just scared and a bit upset. I guess I can talk to him about it tonight.
 

Ilmater

Diamond Member
Jun 13, 2002
7,516
1
0
He doesn't call you his bf, but I'm guessing the two of you have sex? Dude, if that's not obvious enough for you, then I don't know what is. I'm sure you understand (and I can only imagine as I'm straight) that every gay man is looking sex, sex, and more sex. That's what they do. And don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing anyone, I'm just saying that if females were as interested in sex as males are, then the straight community would be just as bad.
 

conjur

No Lifer
Jun 7, 2001
58,686
3
0
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: conjur
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: conjur
Originally posted by: rh71
take out the words gay and bf and you simply have another YAGT. Nothing different about the scenario.
That's what I was thinking. Eyes will wander, lust will develop, jealousy will form. Fact of life. Either he's going to find more interest in this other guy or he's not.

Have you talked with him about your feelings of jealousy?

I am not jealous of this guy. I don't even know him. I am just scared. It's been 3 years. May'be I am just a worrier.
Sounds like you're in denial. Why else would you be scared if you weren't jealous?

I am not jealous of this guy, I don't even know him. Why would I be jealous of something I already have? I am just scared and a bit upset. I guess I can talk to him about it tonight.
Your jealous of the attention he's getting from your bf.

Let's say your bf found some new hobby and it took a lot of his spare time so that you saw a lot less of him. You would start to feel left out and abandoned. You'd be jealous of his new hobby. You don't have to know the guy to be jealous of him.
 

Zysoclaplem

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2003
8,799
0
0
Originally posted by: Ilmater
He doesn't call you his bf, but I'm guessing the two of you have sex? Dude, if that's not obvious enough for you, then I don't know what is. I'm sure you understand (and I can only imagine as I'm straight) that every gay man is looking sex, sex, and more sex. That's what they do. And don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing anyone, I'm just saying that if females were as interested in sex as males are, then the straight community would be just as bad.

No, he calls me his bf, just not to this guy. He tells this guy I am his roommate.
And I am not looking for sex, sex, and more sex. We have been together for almost 3 years, and I don't look elsewhere. We also live together, and have done so for 2 years.
 

Zysoclaplem

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2003
8,799
0
0
Originally posted by: conjur
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: conjur
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: conjur
Originally posted by: rh71
take out the words gay and bf and you simply have another YAGT. Nothing different about the scenario.
That's what I was thinking. Eyes will wander, lust will develop, jealousy will form. Fact of life. Either he's going to find more interest in this other guy or he's not.

Have you talked with him about your feelings of jealousy?

I am not jealous of this guy. I don't even know him. I am just scared. It's been 3 years. May'be I am just a worrier.
Sounds like you're in denial. Why else would you be scared if you weren't jealous?

I am not jealous of this guy, I don't even know him. Why would I be jealous of something I already have? I am just scared and a bit upset. I guess I can talk to him about it tonight.
Your jealous of the attention he's getting from your bf.

Let's say your bf found some new hobby and it took a lot of his spare time so that you saw a lot less of him. You would start to feel left out and abandoned. You'd be jealous of his new hobby. You don't have to know the guy to be jealous of him.

If my bf wants to break up with me, or see other people, then he should tell me. I wouldn't be angry or jealous. I just don't want to get cheated on. I don't want that to happen.
 

conjur

No Lifer
Jun 7, 2001
58,686
3
0
Then you need to confront him.

Playing games and sitting in the shadows and thinking up suspicious thoughts aren't doing you any good.
 

Zysoclaplem

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2003
8,799
0
0
Originally posted by: conjur
Then you need to confront him.

Playing games and sitting in the shadows and thinking up suspicious thoughts aren't doing you any good.

Playing games?

I will talk to him. May'be it's all in my head, and I have nothing to worry about.
 

shimsham

Lifer
May 9, 2002
10,765
0
0
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: Ilmater
He doesn't call you his bf, but I'm guessing the two of you have sex? Dude, if that's not obvious enough for you, then I don't know what is. I'm sure you understand (and I can only imagine as I'm straight) that every gay man is looking sex, sex, and more sex. That's what they do. And don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing anyone, I'm just saying that if females were as interested in sex as males are, then the straight community would be just as bad.

No, he calls me his bf, just not to this guy. He tells this guy I am his roommate.
And I am not looking for sex, sex, and more sex. We have been together for almost 3 years, and I don't look elsewhere. We also live together, and have done so for 2 years.



if he doesnt call you his bf to this other dude, that means he wants some from him, and you being his bf is a cock-block in his new venture.
 

Literati

Golden Member
Jan 13, 2005
1,864
0
0
Soooo... what is all this YAGT YABT etc. talk?

I have tried to figure it out by myself, but I can't for the like of me, I also have no idea what NEF means.
 

Encryptic

Diamond Member
May 21, 2003
8,885
0
0
Sounds like your boyfriend wants a little action on the side if he's claiming that you're his roommate. In any case, you need to talk to him and find out what's going on. He may not have the sack to tell you he wants to break up so he's screwing around instead.
 

aidanjm

Lifer
Aug 9, 2004
12,411
2
0
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
My bf has been talking to this other gay guy he goes to school with alot lately. He refers to me as his room-mate when talking to this guy. He is younger and better looking than me, and it upsets me that he talks to him. Is this a natural feeling? I know what gay guys have on their minds, and it's nothing good natured.
I don't want to be a jerk, but I don't want my bf to up and decide he likes this guy better. I'm not saying he will, I just always fear the worst. But on the other hand I don't want to dictate who anyone can talk to. I am just scared.

how do you know your bf refers to you as a room mate with this guy? I would want to know why he does this. Is he trying to keep certain options open by not letting this guy know he is in a long term relationship? edit: guess you need to ask him to find out.