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*sigh* Since I've paid off my debt...

amdhunter

amdhunter

Lifer
I don't know what to do. I am, by far, the lowest paid of all my family - the only one without a family - the only one without a house, and the only one without anything good in his life. Because of this, my family seems to think that I have nothing to keep money for.

Since I've paid off all my debt, family keeps asking me for money. In the last two weeks, I have lent out over $2500 to "help" buy them things. I get paid back, but it will take months for me to get it back. For example, I was just asked to buy some tickets for a vacation because they got a good deal on tickets and needed to take advantage of it now. Another time I was asked to buy 2 HDTV mounts for their TV's.

I am getting sick and literally fucking tired of it, even though I love them, money is an extremely stressful thing to me. I have dealt with debt for almost 10 years, and now that I am finally "in the black" all of a sudden, I am an interest-free bank to them.

I am not really asking for advice or anything, just a rant. I am starting to feel depression over this, like I am running myself quickly into debt again. I literally can't think straight. After I get my money back, I think I am going to cut my family off for a few months. I am not going to answer my phone anymore, and avoid not only them, but even friends that are common to the both of us.

I just can't take stress over money anymore. They have no idea how much toll it takes on me mentally.
 
There's a line between being nice and being a pushover. You've crossed that line. If they need to borrow money to go on a vacation or buy shit for their home entertainment, then I'm going to go ahead and say that they probably shouldn't be buying it right now.

Tell them politely that you're sorry, but you can't afford to lend any more money out, and that's final.

EDIT: Also, like others have said, start charging interest. Not a lot, just enough to let them know that you're not their personal interest-free miracle bank.
 
Originally posted by: novasatori
you gotta charge interest son

even family doesn't get free money
Click to expand...

QFT! Vig them up a bit. At least 10 points a week(that's 10% interest accrued on a weekly basis or 520% APR 😉). If they don't come up with the interest, tack the difference onto the principal.
 
Wait, why are you saying yes when they are buying tv's and vacations?

If it was a kidney.. sure give em the money. HDTV? Tell em to fuck off.
 
Just say that you need to save up money for a rainy day fund or something. Unless your family is a bunch of douches, they shouldn't be pestering you about giving them money if you say no.
 
You're enabling 😉
Just say no. Or have your 'extra' income automatically put into a retirement account that you cannot touch.
 
Originally posted by: Xanis
There's a line between being nice and being a pushover. You've crossed that line. If they need to borrow money to go on a vacation or buy shit for their home entertainment, then I'm going to go ahead and say that they probably shouldn't be buying it right now.

Tell them politely that you're sorry, but you can't afford to lend any more money out, and that's final.
Click to expand...

I think the pushover part has come from all the free computer stuffs I've given them over the years. Monitors, digital cameras, and other miscellany stuff that I've upgraded and passed down to them.

My family is very tight, and the rest of the family would "look down" on me if I didn't help them. It's a really effed up situation to be in. I think just blocking them out of my life for a long period is the best thing to do.
 
Originally posted by: Insomniator
Wait, why are you saying yes when they are buying tv's and vacations?

If it was a kidney.. sure give em the money. HDTV? Tell em to fuck off.
Click to expand...

They always pay me back. It just takes a while. For example, if I lent them 1500, they'd give me $500 every two weeks until they are covered. I don't know why they couldn't do that with their own CC's.
 
Originally posted by: amdhunter
I don't know what to do. I am, by far, the lowest paid of all my family - the only one without a family - the only one without a house, and the only one without anything good in his life. Because of this, my family seems to think that I have nothing to keep money for.

Since I've paid off all my debt, family keeps asking me for money. In the last two weeks, I have lent out over $2500 to "help" buy them things. I get paid back, but it will take months for me to get it back. For example, I was just asked to buy some tickets for a vacation because they got a good deal on tickets and needed to take advantage of it now. Another time I was asked to buy 2 HDTV mounts for their TV's.

I am getting sick and literally fucking tired of it, even though I love them, money is an extremely stressful thing to me. I have dealt with debt for almost 10 years, and now that I am finally "in the black" all of a sudden, I am an interest-free bank to them.

I am not really asking for advice or anything, just a rant. I am starting to feel depression over this, like I am running myself quickly into debt again. I literally can't think straight. After I get my money back, I think I am going to cut my family off for a few months. I am not going to answer my phone anymore, and avoid not only them, but even friends that are common to the both of us.

I just can't take stress over money anymore. They have no idea how much toll it takes on me mentally.
Click to expand...

tell them to F OFF!
 
Originally posted by: amdhunter
Originally posted by: Xanis
There's a line between being nice and being a pushover. You've crossed that line. If they need to borrow money to go on a vacation or buy shit for their home entertainment, then I'm going to go ahead and say that they probably shouldn't be buying it right now.

Tell them politely that you're sorry, but you can't afford to lend any more money out, and that's final.
Click to expand...

I think the pushover part has come from all the free computer stuffs I've given them over the years. Monitors, digital cameras, and other miscellany stuff that I've upgraded and passed down to them.

My family is very tight, and the rest of the family would "look down" on me if I didn't help them. It's a really effed up situation to be in. I think just blocking them out of my life for a long period is the best thing to do.
Click to expand...

Just lie. "I'm broke."
 
Originally posted by: amdhunter
Originally posted by: Insomniator
Wait, why are you saying yes when they are buying tv's and vacations?

If it was a kidney.. sure give em the money. HDTV? Tell em to fuck off.
Click to expand...

They always pay me back. It just takes a while. For example, if I lent them 1500, they'd give me $500 every two weeks until they are covered. I don't know why they couldn't do that with their own CC's.
Click to expand...

Because you don't charge interest. Also, if they have bad CC debt like you say, the money they borrow from you is probably a MUCH more manageable amount than what they owe on their CC.
 
Originally posted by: amdhunter
Originally posted by: Xanis
There's a line between being nice and being a pushover. You've crossed that line. If they need to borrow money to go on a vacation or buy shit for their home entertainment, then I'm going to go ahead and say that they probably shouldn't be buying it right now.

Tell them politely that you're sorry, but you can't afford to lend any more money out, and that's final.
Click to expand...

I think the pushover part has come from all the free computer stuffs I've given them over the years. Monitors, digital cameras, and other miscellany stuff that I've upgraded and passed down to them.

My family is very tight, and the rest of the family would "look down" on me if I didn't help them. It's a really effed up situation to be in. I think just blocking them out of my life for a long period is the best thing to do.
Click to expand...

Because avoiding them is easier than talking to them about the money issues?
 
Originally posted by: Mermaidman
You're enabling 😉
Just say no. Or have your 'extra' income automatically put into a retirement account that you cannot touch.
Click to expand...

This.

Or tell them an old credit card reared its ugly head and you're back in debt. They don't have to know it's not the truth.
 
if they are about to lose their home/car/ something worth a lot, THEN you should loan, but if they want you to pay for vacation tickets or mounts for TVs, tell them to fuck off. if they cant afford a car and gas/insurance, dont get the car in the first place. same as with the vacation and tv
 
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