Should your Significant Other also be your Best Friend?

[Analog]

As a married person, I wonder about this. Being in love with your significant other is one thing, but does it necessarily have to mean that this person also must be your best friend for things to work out smoothly in a long term relationship?

 

[StageLeft]

yes

 

[Eli]

Yes, and she is.

 

[Drekce]

yes, and luckily my wife is by far my best friend.

 

[radioouman]

This is tough. My wife is my best female friend

 

[nitsuj3580]

I would consider my g/f my best of friends but I have a few guy friends that I also consider best friends

 

[Danman]

Yes, my gf of almost 2 years is my best friend.

 

[NTB]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
yes

 

[Schadenfroh]

dont know, dont have a SO or a best friend

 

[sciencetoy]

Geez, you guys are young. NO. Because at some point you'll have a lot of complaining about the Significant Other, and you need a best friend to complain to.

 

[nick1985]

my girlfriend is also a very good friend of mine.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: sciencetoy
Geez, you guys are young. NO. Because at some point you'll have a lot of complaining about the Significant Other, and you need a best friend to complain to.

You're kidding, right?

 

[T2T III]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: sciencetoy
Geez, you guys are young. NO. Because at some point you'll have a lot of complaining about the Significant Other, and you need a best friend to complain to.

You're kidding, right?

Skoorb, no. I've been married 17+ years. My wife is a good friend of mine, but I have other friends to confide it. However, my wife does not work me up that much -- I don't need to complain about her to my other friends.

Check back with us in 15 years and see if you're still "best friends" with your wife at that time.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: sciencetoy
Geez, you guys are young. NO. Because at some point you'll have a lot of complaining about the Significant Other, and you need a best friend to complain to.

You're kidding, right?

Skoorb, no. I've been married 17+ years. My wife is a good friend of mine, but I have other friends to confide it. However, my wife does not work me up that much -- I don't need to complain about her to my other friends.

Check back with us in 15 years and see if you're still "best friends" with your wife at that time.

It seems a bit silly to me though to spend your life with somebody you've deliberately placed on your #2 list of friends, so that you can go to friend #1 and complain to them about #2. Why not spend your life with #1 and complain to #2 about him or her? I'll admit I've never confided any problems about mrsskoorb to anybody because any of significance I'll talk to her about, and any smaller ones that are personality quirks I feel no need to illuminate to somebody else. I know that she is the same way.

 

[T2T III]

Skoorb, I'm not implying that you should think any less of your wife - or communcate any less. I'm just saying that over time, things can and do change. My wife is a great person who I highly respect. But, there may be times when I run something by my friend first - and then by my wife second because I thought it was a good idea to filter the issue through the friend first.

 

[damiano]

Originally posted by: Eli
Yes, and she is.

 

[Ferocious]

I guess it would be okay. But surely it's not necessary.

And perhaps not even ideal.

I and my wife are best friends as we do nearly everything together. We even love to play videogames together and she thinks the new Zelda game is too kiddie looking....though she loves it.

But I know a lot of couples who get along great and they individually tend to do their own thing quite a bit.

 

[maziwanka]

cool thread

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech
Skoorb, I'm not implying that you should think any less of your wife - or communcate any less. I'm just saying that over time, things can and do change. My wife is a great person who I highly respect. But, there may be times when I run something by my friend first - and then by my wife second because I thought it was a good idea to filter the issue through the friend first.

That's what the internet is for

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech
Skoorb, I'm not implying that you should think any less of your wife - or communcate any less. I'm just saying that over time, things can and do change. My wife is a great person who I highly respect. But, there may be times when I run something by my friend first - and then by my wife second because I thought it was a good idea to filter the issue through the friend first.

like if the playboy bunny mudflaps are a good idea or not?

 

Originally posted by: Eli
Yes, and she is.

 

[PunDogg]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
yes

 

[Krueger81]

yes

 

[alkemyst]

I think the more important thing is to be sure you are their best friend. Personally I'd want her to be my best friend also.

This is not so important until you are married....however if you can feel safe with someone other than one who makes you their best friend go right ahead.

I personally would kick to the curb (and I have as I have gone through 1 wife and 1 other fiancee) any person I was considering marriage with that did not put me as most important/best. This does not mean they go around worshiping me or something petty like that...it means they put my needs and wants above anyone elses.

You know should you end up in serious condition this is going to be the person calling the shots for you.

 

[GTaudiophile]

I think it's best if she is, but she doesn't have to be your only friend. I think it's healthy for a husband and wife to have other best friends of the same gender and every once in a while, they have a guys' night out or girls' night out. As long as what they do is within reason...