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Should I be worried?

J

jsbush

Diamond Member
I've been with my gf for two months now and it's been going great but...... Even before we were going out she was talking with this guy who she had never seen before, lets just call him Jeff. Anyways after about 4-5 weeks we were going out we went to see some of our old high school friends (we went to high school together) at there college, the same college that Jeff goes to. And she meets Jeff and everything, but didn?t end up seeing him much.

When we are together and just sitting at home doing whatever, he'll start talking to her on the net, and he calls her often. She told me I've got nothing to worry about (and after seeing the guy I understand why). But, I read an email he sent her (shrug, I know I should be reading her emails but.......) asking if he can go see her tonight (Wednesday) to work on homework (they live 30min drive away), and it's been really bugging me, because I've talked to the guy before and he knows were going out and that were getting pretty serious, but he still calls her often, and now he wants to go see her.......?????????

She's been really busy studying this week because her midterms are coming up, and I haven?t really talked to her this week except for a few minutes each night, anyways should I be worried about this guy? I'm pretty sure she's not interested in him and my worry isn't really her, but I just find it very inappropriate that he calls her all the time and that he wants to see her on a week day..... To put it simply, I'm kind of jealous that this guy is spending so much talking to my gf. Should I be?

What should I do? I've talked to her about it before, and she reassures me that I have nothing to worry about, and that he's just a friend. But his intentions are obvious to me.


 
i dunno, maybe i'm biased here but don't ever listen to a girl (or guy) who says she just has a 'friend'.
 
Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date
But a year to make love she wanted you to wait
Let me tell ya a story of my situation
I was talkin' to this girl from the U.S. nation
The way that I met her was on tour at a concert
She had long hair and a short miniskirt
I just got onstage drippin', pourin' with sweat
I was walkin' through the crowd and gues who I met
I whispered in her ear, "Come to the picture booth
So I can ask you some questions to see if you are a hundred proof"
I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah
She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra
I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused
I said, "How do you like the show?"
she said, "I was very amused"
I started throwin' bass, she started throwin' back mid-range
But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange
Then when I asked, "Do ya have a man," she tried to pretend
She said, "No I don't, I only have a friend"
Come on, I'm not even goin' for it
This is what I'm goin' sing
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend
So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time
I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime
'Cause I have friends and that's a fact
Like Agnes, Agatha, Germaine, and Jacq
Forget about that, let's go into the story
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
So we started talkin', getttin' familiar
Spendin' a lot of time so we can build up
A relationship or some undderstanding
How it's gonna be in the future we was plannin'
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back to school
I called every day to see how she was doin'
Everytime that I ccalled her it seemed somethin' was brewin'
I called her on my dime, picked up, and then I called again
I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"
Don't gimme that, don't ever gimme that
Jus' bust this
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend
So I came to her college on a surprise visit
To see my girl that was so exquisite
It was a school day, I knew she was there
The first semester of the school year
I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm
This guy made me fill out a visitor's form
He told me where it was and I as on my way
To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
I arrrived in front of the dormitory
Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
They showed me where it was for the moment
I didn't know I was in for such an event
So I came to her room and opened the door
Oh, snap! Guess what I saw?
A fella tongue-kissin' my girl in the mouth,
I was so in shock my heart went down south
So please listen to the message that I say
Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend
 
I went down to the beach and saw Kiki,
She was all like, eehhhh,
And I'm like, WHATEVAH!

And then this chick comes up to me,
and she's all like, hey, aren't you that dude,
And I'm like, yeah, WHATEVAH!

So later, I'm at the poolhall
And this girl comes up and she's all like, awww,
And I'm like, yeah, WHATEVAH!

Cuz this is my United States of Whatever
And this is my United States of Whatever
And this is my United States of Whatever

And then it's 3 AM, I'm on the corner wearin my leather,
This dude comes up to me and says, Hey Punk!
And I'm like, yeah, WHATEVAH!

Then I'm throwin' dice in the alley
Officer Leroy comes up and he's like, hey I thought I told you..
And I'm like, WHATEVAH!

And up comes Zafo, and I'm like Yo! Zafo, whassup?
And he's like, Nuthin.
And I'm like, that's cool.....

Cuz this is my United States of Whatever
And this is my United States of Whatever


 
Sounds like she's not interested but he is. Talk with her and stress how easily guys are encouraged, and how it would be better if she made it really clear that she isn't interested. It can be flattering for a girl to have a guy interested, even if she doesn't want him, and so there's a temptation to encourage it. Take his place, continue showing her how interested you are, and ensure that she is clear with him that you're her only interest and that he doesn't have a chance.
 
Originally posted by: Hatari Chic
Sounds like she's not interested but he is. Talk with her and stress how easily guys are encouraged, and how it would be better if she made it really clear that she isn't interested. It can be flattering for a girl to have a guy interested, even if she doesn't want him, and so there's a temptation to encourage it. Take his place, continue showing her how interested you are, and ensure that she is clear with him that you're her only interest and that he doesn't have a chance.
Click to expand...

Thats what I was thinking of telling her, thanks.
 
For any relationship to take hold and bloom, there has to be trust. If you can't trust her, then you need to rethink things. How would she feel if she knew you'd been reading her mail? You have already violated trust in doing this.


 
Originally posted by: jsbush
I've been with my gf for two months now and it's been going great but...... Even before we were going out she was talking with this guy who she had never seen before, lets just call him Jeff. Anyways after about 4-5 weeks we were going out we went to see some of our old high school friends (we went to high school together) at there college, the same college that Jeff goes to. And she meets Jeff and everything, but didn?t end up seeing him much.

When we are together and just sitting at home doing whatever, he'll start talking to her on the net, and he calls her often. She told me I've got nothing to worry about (and after seeing the guy I understand why). But, I read an email he sent her (shrug, I know I should be reading her emails but.......) asking if he can go see her tonight (Wednesday) to work on homework (they live 30min drive away), and it's been really bugging me, because I've talked to the guy before and he knows were going out and that were getting pretty serious, but he still calls her often, and now he wants to go see her.......?????????

She's been really busy studying this week because her midterms are coming up, and I haven?t really talked to her this week except for a few minutes each night, anyways should I be worried about this guy? I'm pretty sure she's not interested in him and my worry isn't really her, but I just find it very inappropriate that he calls her all the time and that he wants to see her on a week day..... To put it simply, I'm kind of jealous that this guy is spending so much talking to my gf. Should I be?

What should I do? I've talked to her about it before, and she reassures me that I have nothing to worry about, and that he's just a friend. But his intentions are obvious to me.
Click to expand...


I hope for your sake that she showed you that email.
 
Originally posted by: jsbush
Originally posted by: Hatari Chic
Sounds like she's not interested but he is. Talk with her and stress how easily guys are encouraged, and how it would be better if she made it really clear that she isn't interested. It can be flattering for a girl to have a guy interested, even if she doesn't want him, and so there's a temptation to encourage it. Take his place, continue showing her how interested you are, and ensure that she is clear with him that you're her only interest and that he doesn't have a chance.
Click to expand...

Thats what I was thinking of telling her, thanks.
Click to expand...

Yes, good advice.

You don't need to worry, though. Relationships are two way; it does not matter if he likes her.. It only matters if she reciprocates the feelings, and I'm guessing she won't.

I understand how it makes you feel uncomfortable, though. Just talk to her about it. It's really the only thing you can do.

So many people seem to think that we can read eachothers minds..

Communication is the key to any relationship. Things go downhill fast when you can't or don't talk about things.
 
Originally posted by: Hayabusarider
You need to add the obligatory "YAGT" to the thread title
Click to expand...

😛


do what hot.... err😉😛... hatari chic said, she pretty much hit it right on the nose.
 
Originally posted by: Hatari Chic
Sounds like she's not interested but he is. Talk with her and stress how easily guys are encouraged, and how it would be better if she made it really clear that she isn't interested. It can be flattering for a girl to have a guy interested, even if she doesn't want him, and so there's a temptation to encourage it. Take his place, continue showing her how interested you are, and ensure that she is clear with him that you're her only interest and that he doesn't have a chance.
Click to expand...
I agree with HotChic, I bet this guy doesn't have the kindest of intentions (at least to you anyway), but its always hard to explain that to a girl- I never see that, either. I would just explain a little of how guys think, and just ask her to be careful. looks like you are ok though! 🙂
 
If you are a violent guy, you should drag the guy out of his house and beat him up. Don't forget to disguise youself.

But since you sound like a nice guy... you should try to spend more time with her instead of worrying about him. Be romantic with her... espcially when he's around to see it.
 
Let her do what she wants. So the guy has a major crush on her, but she's choosing to be with you. If you get all macho, lay down the rules and go chase this guy off, how do you know she won't leave you? Stop being jealous and stop worrying. Who knows, maybe talking to your gf will help the guy get the courage to ask some other girl out.
 
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