Shortest amount of time you've held a job?

[Krynj]

For me, 8 hours.

Back in 2007, my girlfriend at the time thought it would be cool for us to live in Boston for the summer. I had some friends there who had a spare room for the summer, so we decided to sublet it. We didn't really have anything lined up for jobs, and since we were only going to be there from late May to mid/late August, we figured we'd wing it, and just find something when we got settled in.

We checked Craigslist daily, and applied all over. I responded to an ad on Craigslist for a firm that was hiring a web/graphic designer for a summer internship. I sent over my resume and portfolio, and landed an interview the next week. Went to the interview, showed some work samples, shook some hands, and went on my way. I thought it went well, but I knew there must have been tons of people that had applied, so I knew there was a good amount of competition out there.

Next couple days pass, and no word from them. A week and a day passes, and nothing still. "Oh well" I think to myself, and continue the job search. I respond to another ad on Craigslist for some lawn furniture company looking for a warehouse worker. I call up, and the lady pretty much hires me over the phone. She says she can't find anybody that wants to actually work, and if I'd like, come down the following day to get started. There were some red flags going up, but I needed some money, so I figured I'd at least go check it out.

I get there, and it's this big outdoor/patio furniture company. I was to be working in their warehouse, which was basically a green house, only with stacks and stacks of outdoor furniture in it. It was all plexiglass walls, and not a single bit of protection from the sun. Hot is an understatement. There was no air circulation, no fans, just working inside of a blistering hot glass box, lugging furniture around. It was fucking miserable.

Right around lunch time, my phone starts ringing. I can tell right away that it's not friends or family (Maine only has one area code). I pick it up, and come to find out, it's the design firm that wants a 2nd interview -- with the owner. Despite my new found employment, I tell them I'll be there tomorrow.

After I get off the phone, I try to figure out how to tell them that I'm not going to be back tomorrow, but will be back the next day. I tell them I just received a call from my doctor, and have to head back to Maine for the day for some medical stuff, but assure them I'll be back the following day (assuming the design firm would still take a bit longer, regardless of how well the interview went). They seem a bit wary, but, seem convinced that I'll be back. During my phone call with them, I was hoping they'd make an offer right over the phone. If they did, I was going to drop everything I was doing and leave.

The following day I meet the boss, and see some more of the designer I'd be working under, and the HR lady. The interview goes very smooth, and I leave with even higher hopes than before. As I'm walking back to the green line, I get a call from the design firm offering me the position. I accept, and then breath a deep sigh knowing I won't have to go back to that fucking nightmare of a job in the sun-baked glass box from hell.

So for my shortest job stint, 8 hours. Didn't even collect the pay for it.

cliffs:
1) Started working a shitty job doing manual labor inside a lawn furniture filled greenhouse type thing.
2) Got a 2nd interview at design firm while working shitty job.
3) Went to interview the next day, and got the job.
4) Never spoke to shitty lawn furniture company again.

 

[sdifox]

1 12 hour day packing rice

couldn't move the next day, thus did not return to job.

was just helping out anyway.

 

[BagOfWalnuts]

I was hired by this company to do some web design for them...I forget what the company even did now, something financial I think. Anyway, I get hired. I work for a day, and then I get a call that evening. Apparently the company, which only had roughly 40 people working for them had TWO presidents. Yes, two. One had hired me while the other was on vacation. The other president came back from vacation and was furious that someone had been hired without his knowing. So they unhired me. Not fired really, just unhired.

 

[nageov3t]

not counting when I was a temp (when sometimes I'd be at a different company every day), 3 months at Burger King.

 

[purbeast0]

31 days.

it took 30 days to get my discount at best buy, so on my 31st day i bought all my shit then quit, saving over $1400. it was my plan all along and was my 2nd job at the time.

 

[lxskllr]

Two years. I'm pretty conservative and avoid jobs I'm uncertain about.

 

[sdifox]

31 days.

it took 30 days to get my discount at best buy, so on my 31st day i bought all my shit then quit, saving over $1400. it was my plan all along and was my 2nd job at the time.

not a bad plan if you know exactly what you want to do.

 

[Beev]

2 days many years ago at a McDonalds. It was the night shift and my coworkers were spitting in food and smoking crack during their breaks. I don't know why I even went back for the second night.

 

[BoomerD]

I've quit a few before even starting the first day...

I went to one job, took the drug test, watched their safety video, then the next day, went to the jobsite, climbed in the crane to get ready for work...it was a piece of shit...so I grabbed my lunchbox and headed for my truck. The foreman asked, "Where are you going?" I replied, "Life's too short to run junk equipment. Call the hall."
I was dispatched to a new job before I got home.

(they still had to pay me for the drug test and watching the video...4 hours minimum for the day.)

 

[SKORPI0]

5 days, was told by manager I wasn't needed anymore. Glad to leave, job wasn't paying enough for what I was expected to accomplish in a 8 hour shift.

 

[God Mode]

2 days. I was hired to work with the computer systems and associated tasks but the manager started making me multitask with delivery, cleaning and customer support. I had no problem doing these other things but the last draw was when he started getting pissed that I wasn't doing all of the above in a timely order. MF'er expected me to do the work of 3 people throughout the day.

 

[FelixDeCat]

When I as 17 I did some cold calling boiler room work for a shady fly by night coupon book company. I was there four hours, left for lunch and never came back.

From 7am to 11am, they managed to serve up coffee laced with some sort of stimulant that after one small 4 ounce cup had you on the phone making so many calls because time was now warped and you were going to die of boredom if you didnt.

But that wasnt all.

We were supposed to be paid on commission and I think I called over 100 people from lists we pulled out of a box. I had about 5 sales which should have been 50 bucks in profit paid daily, but the scam was to claim that they sent someone to deliver the book and supposedly nobody paid / answered the door / etc. Not one of the 5 people paid. Ok.....

Also during a break we had a meeting (all of this happened in 4 hours). At this meeting, the female "manager" had us throw dice for the sales we had made. If we lost, we lost our commissions. If we won, we doubled them. Please.

What a ripoff!

 

[Tweak155]

10 years. Also, my longest job held is 10 years. Next year it will be 11 years for both. Figure it out yet?

Legal job that is, I've done a bunch of side stuff but have only had 1 legal income job.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

2 weeks at a drywall plant. There's tough jobs and then, there's Hell on earth.
-Cleaning a rock crusher while it's running in 110 degree temps.
-Cleaning a gypsum oven that's 14" high and 20' deep so you have to climb into it. Of course, the longer a piece of equipment is offline, the more money is lost. I was ever so grateful they let it cool down to 140 before I climbed into it.
-Cleaning a warehouse of crushed gypsum with snow shovels wearing plastic body suits and simple paper fiber painters masks in 110 degree temps.

 

[ProfJohn]

1 day, 1 shift, never went back.

Was a second job and only wanted some part time money. When I saw the schedule the guy had me on 6 days in a row.

During my 7 years at Disney I went through 4 part time jobs never working more than 3 months at any. I wanted the extra money, but didn't want to work for it...

 

[TheNinja]

I once had to let a contractor go after 4 hours. I kind of felt bad but this guy came in for "desktop support" type work and basically sat down and starting demanding new computer to work on, a phone, telling us how he was going to work, and unfortunately he was physically unable to complete the tasks of carry anything over 20 pounds and/or crawling under desks if needed. Plus he was really annoying and would have been a horrible fit. I still felt bad for him though.

 

[ShawnD1]

1 12 hour day packing rice

couldn't move the next day, thus did not return to job.

was just helping out anyway.

I did 10 hours of landscaping and never went back.

It was the lack of water that killed me. It didn't matter how much water I took with me. I was never enough. I sweat buckets even when I'm sitting in a lawn chair. When I'm doing physical work in the hot sun while wearing pants, holy shit bro. Need to drink hundreds of gallons of water to not die.

2 weeks at a drywall plant. There's tough jobs and then, there's Hell on earth.
-Cleaning a rock crusher while it's running in 110 degree temps.
-Cleaning a gypsum oven that's 14" high and 20' deep so you have to climb into it. Of course, the longer a piece of equipment is offline, the more money is lost. I was ever so grateful they let it cool down to 140 before I climbed into it.
-Cleaning a warehouse of crushed gypsum with snow shovels wearing plastic body suits and simple paper fiber painters masks in 110 degree temps.

Heat man. Fucking heat. You can make lots of money doing physical jobs but they all suck. Should wear adult diapers just to absorb all of the sweat from my balls.

 

[Kev]

5 hours in the basement of a ceramic shop when i was 16. It was absolutely awful, I had to work alongside the owner's creepy, semi-retarded 30 year old son in a dusty shithole basement

 

[sourceninja]

When I was almost 16 I got hired at mcdonalds. I told them the day I was interviewed and the day they hired me that I had a vacation planned with my family for 2 weeks on a set date. I went on vacation, called to find out my start date when I returned and was told I was fired.

Never worked a day there and got fired. My second job was at wendy's. It lasted 2 weeks before I got my first IT job.

 

[Krynj]

Also worked at a scrap metal yard for a summer a few years ago (the summer prior to Boston, actually). That would have been a first day walkout as well, if I wasn't working there with 3 of my best friends. It was owned by a bestfriend's girlfriend's dad, so he got us all in there, and the boss' son who we were all friends with was our boss. The labor was awful and backbreaking, but the people I worked with were awesome, and we actually had a pretty good time most days. Lots of laughs were had that summer.

 

[SearchMaster]

About 2 weeks at BK. They were giving me about 4-8 hours per week, at $3.35/hr it hardly made it worth the effort. When I checked the third week's schedule I told them "no thanks" and got a lifeguarding job.

 

[Pantlegz]

1 12 hour day packing rice

couldn't move the next day, thus did not return to job.

was just helping out anyway.

Something like this, I was working for a temp agency and they sent me to a paper shipping place. After a 10 hour shift I wasn't able to do anything.

 

[RockinZ28]

About 1.5 months. Got hired with a company my dad had a contract with. Told me I'd be getting around $22/hr. When I got my first check it was $12/hr.

Just stayed until the fall semester at college started. I made more with tips delivering pizza.

 

[ProfJohn]

Why does "The Ninja" have "The Gladiator" as his avatar?

 

[bobdole369]

I once delivered pizza for an evening. Total 3 hours.

I was already working for the competition (mom and pop italian restaurant)- shitty 12 hour days, and making maybe $40 on weekdays and $80-$120 on the weekends in tips plus shit pay. I wasn't working that day and was just curious.

While I didn't have to do dishes or unclog drains or mop or drive shit around to the other restaurants or deal with the drunk ass owner or his bitchy wife, the money just wasn't there.

it was a Friday - I made $11 in 3 hours on 4 deliveries - I could tell the pizza is garbage and that the owner didn't know how to run it very well. I didn't even take the $5/hr he promised, just left receipts up by the register and walked out the front and back to my shitty pizza job with all the baggage.