Shock: EPA Employees Asked to Stop Going To The Bathroom In Office Hallways!

[SlickSnake]

Isn't this a strictly regulated EPA environmental hazard? Do they bring in a hazardous waste disposal team to clean this up, or just call the custodian again?

Shock: EPA Employees Asked to Stop Defecating In Office Hallways

http://www.shtfplan.com/headline-ne...o-stop-defecating-in-office-hallways_06262014

In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.

Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions.

How would they escalate their actions? Projectile vomit in the elevators? Do you think they may demand stool samples from all the employees to determine who the serial pooper is?

Spoiler

Actual article title cleaned up to conform to forum title standards 😉

 

[master_shake_]

EPA? excrement providing assholes?

 

[SlickSnake]

EPA? excrement providing assholes?

:awe:

 

[mmntech]

Government professionals. 😀

 

[SlickSnake]

Typical EPA bathroom.

 

[techs]

Typical ATOT bathroom.

ftfy

 

[Printer Bandit]

Who's the poopetrator?

 

[disappoint]

This reminds me of this one time, at band camp. Well more like work camp. I worked in an office building. I worked in a small office and each floor had maybe 2 or 3 completely different companies that had nothing to do with each other besides sharing the same floor.

I was walking down the hall back to the office when I hear this loud screaming. I wondered what it was but I didn't see anything and didn't know where it was coming from so I continue back to the office. I sit down at my desk and get back to work when one of my co-workers comes in and asks me if I heard that screaming. I said "Yeah what was that?"

He had just returned from the bathroom. When he finished, he left and turned the light off because he is used to turning the light off at home when he leaves the bathroom. There was a guy in one of the other stalls wiping when this happened. The blood curdling scream was this other guy left to wipe in the dark.

Later on when I went to the bathroom myself, there was fecal matter all over the walls and the light switch.

And now, I wonder if that guy now works for the EPA. Nah, couldn't be him...

Humans are just crazy sometimes. Probably because of pollution. Heavy metal toxicity from coal fired power plants spewing powerful neurotoxins into the atmosphere. Thanks EPA for not doing anything about that. Maybe it's not economically feasible. Maybe it's not economically feasible to keep destroying people's brains either.

 

[Thebobo]

Should not this be in Poop and News?

 

[MustISO]

Maybe if they had more work to do they wouldn't have time for this crap.

 

[CZroe]

How would they escalate their actions...

Wipe it behind door handles and such. IIRC, the old online Anarchist Cookbook suggests wiping it under car door handles using a plastic baggie. I imagine that this is what prompted those really cool Tesla door handles that reveal themselves only as you approach with the key fob.

Edit: Also just realized that this is a poop thread. Expect a lock!