Shart and run

[CRXican]

Just ran a quick errand and ended up stuck behind a VW Passat when the female driver of advanced age decided to ignore the green light and hop out of the car. Next she proceeded to point her ass at the rear view mirror on the driver door.

At this point I say in my head "she shit herself" Lo and behold, she turns back around. Yep, just what I needed to see.

Now at this point, rather than hop back in the car and drive off in shame she proceeds to leave her car in traffic and walk to the crosswalk to gas station across the intersection.

My mind was bottled.

 

[zinfamous]

...what?

 

[Wyndru]

LOL wtf

 

[LookBehindYou]

It sucks when you shart while sitting. Theres no where for it to go, it just smears on between the cheeks and on your underwear/boxers.

At least if you shart while walking, you can just shake the little doody down your thigh, past your calf and out your pant leg, no harm, no foul. Unless it gets stuck in between the sock and top of your shoe, then it gets dicey, you have to GENTLY pick the doody up and knock it onto the ground, otherwise you'll squeeze it on your fingers or on your sock or on your shoe or a combination of some or all. Then you have doody sock/doody fingers/doody shoe, all of which smell like shit and are relatively unsanitary.

 

[Sluggo]

All of these problems are solved by not wearing pants.

 

[Krazy4Real]

All of these problems are solved by not wearing pants.

Or going poopy before you get in the car.

 

[Sixguns]

So of the random stuff we see in the world.

 

[Eli]

It sucks when you shart while sitting. Theres no where for it to go, it just smears on between the cheeks and on your underwear/boxers.

At least if you shart while walking, you can just shake the little doody down your thigh, past your calf and out your pant leg, no harm, no foul. Unless it gets stuck in between the sock and top of your shoe, then it gets dicey, you have to GENTLY pick the doody up and knock it onto the ground, otherwise you'll squeeze it on your fingers or on your sock or on your shoe or a combination of some or all. Then you have doody sock/doody fingers/doody shoe, all of which smell like shit and are relatively unsanitary.

Sounds like you have fist hand experience with this.

 

[LookBehindYou]

Sounds like you have fist hand experience with this.

Don't try to call me out and act like I'm the only one Mr. Moderator.

Everyone has this problem....right? .....guys?

 

[randomrogue]

You win sir. You win. /forums

 

[stargazr]

:\

 

[mb]

Don't try to call me out and act like I'm the only one Mr. Moderator.

Everyone has this problem....right? .....guys?

No.. you might want to see a doctor.

 

[goobernoodles]

it sucks when you shart while sitting. Theres no where for it to go, it just smears on between the cheeks and on your underwear/boxers.

At least if you shart while walking, you can just shake the little doody down your thigh, past your calf and out your pant leg, no harm, no foul. Unless it gets stuck in between the sock and top of your shoe, then it gets dicey, you have to gently pick the doody up and knock it onto the ground, otherwise you'll squeeze it on your fingers or on your sock or on your shoe or a combination of some or all. Then you have doody sock/doody fingers/doody shoe, all of which smell like shit and are relatively unsanitary.

LOL

 

[alkemyst]

just stick your ass out the window...

 

[MovingTarget]

just stick your ass out the window...

Preferably not while driving. :thumbsdown:

 

[alkemyst]

Preferably not while driving. :thumbsdown:

dude, don't try to do this while at a red light (edit: unless you are the last in the line)...better at 45mph or more.

 

[CrazyAznDriver]

Never happened to me, though I have worried a few times on heavy squat days :/

 

[mmntech]

Don't try to call me out and act like I'm the only one Mr. Moderator.

Everyone has this problem....right? .....guys?

Depends.

 

[alkemyst]

Never happened to me, though I have worried a few times on heavy squat days :/

dude, 135lbs is not a heavy squat.

 

[CrazyAznDriver]

dude, 135lbs is not a heavy squat.

That isn't even a warm up son. Looking at your pics floating around here you need to hit the weights too, instead of strip clubs and bars you tubby bitch.

 

[Angry Irishman]

When I was high school I worked in a grocery store. I was in the bank line waiting to deposit my pay when I observed an elderly lady in line who sneezed and promptly shit herself. I actually felt really bad for her and felt even worse when my manager told me to clean it up...I wouldn't do it and another clerk did.

 

[Baked]

Damn dirty apes!

 

[davmat787]

Depends.

Was that an intentional pun? As in Depends underpants?

 

[MovingTarget]

dude, don't try to do this while at a red light (edit: unless you are the last in the line)...better at 45mph or more.

Well, it certainly does dry it out faster.

D:

 

[alkemyst]

That isn't even a warm up son. Looking at your pics floating around here you need to hit the weights too, instead of strip clubs and bars you tubby bitch.

Actually this is me tubby:

This is me more recent:

Those 'green hulk' pics were hacks from when I was getting back in shape from an injury.

Still at about 35 or so when those were taken I wasn't in so bad of shape.

here is a better one from that 'set'

I don't have any 'at peak' pictures...but this was me pretty lean (they look like the same jeans, but really arent):

where are your massive pics?