Sharing an apartment with 2 friends?

[Ultima]

So, what can you tell me about the trials of moving in with 2 friends?

Basically, I'm sick of my parent's mind games, and right now, I pay for nearly everything as it is. Two friends also may want to move out, so we're thinking of sharing an apt together. It'll be a new stage of life.. will finally be away from my parents and maybe that will help ease the tension between us (although it won't make me forget the bs)... and I won't have to worry about having people over or partying, drinking, whatever.

On the other hand it will be a responsibility cause we will all have to make sure we have jobs, obviously, to pay our share of the rent, electricity, etc... I'd have to work 20 hours a week while going to school in order to have enough money to pay my share of everything, pay for food, and still have a couple hundred in disposable cash. One of the friends, if moving out, would be working full-time. The other would be going to trade-school. I'll be in college for 2 more years then uni after. So I think it would be pretty cool to do, because the situation right now is driving me insane, literally. I just wonder how living with 2 friends is gonna work out.

 

[bandXtrb]

see this thread

 

[Kadarin]

Once you've taken that step, you won't ever want to go back. Parents, when you live with them, are often very irrational when it comes to presenting you with restrictions on your behavior. You will, however, have to be very careful that your friends continue to pay their share. Also, you may find out things about them that you really didn't want to know.

Good luck!

 

[Ultima]

yeah if this happens hopefully we all have seperate rooms

went through that thread bandXtrb, all I can say is :Q
I think we all get along well enough though.

bump for fresh replies

 

[NaughtyusMaximus]

I lived with one friend for the first semester this year, and it was fine. We pretty much stayed out of our hair most of the time, but goddamn, that kid never showered and damn did he smell.

You'll enjoy living with them no doubt, but the little things about them will piss you off - but probably a lot less than your parents do now.

 

[Rkonster]

Then again, living with your parents is cheap!

 

[pillage2001]

Originally posted by: Ultima
yeah if this happens hopefully we all have seperate rooms

went through that thread bandXtrb, all I can say is :Q
I think we all get along well enough though.

bump for fresh replies

Get along well enough? It's different when you guys stay together. I thought I got along well with my buds but we're better off staying apart.

 

[b0mbrman]

Originally posted by: Rkonster
Then again, living with your parents is cheap!

Cheap is good! Use the would-be rent money as payments for a car!

A good enough car would definitely mollify the effects of controlling parents...

 

[kaiotes]

DON'T do it.
pm ME if u want to hear some personal stories and havoc i've gone/going through.

 

[dude]

Don't Do It!

They'll secretly kill you in your sleep! :Q

 

[Ultima]

Originally posted by: b0mbrman

Originally posted by: Rkonster
Then again, living with your parents is cheap!

Cheap is good! Use the would-be rent money as payments for a car!

A good enough car would definitely mollify the effects of controlling parents...

the thing is, every thing I do my parents are like "you don't like it, pack up your boxes and leave" after hearing enough of that, I just don't feel very secure here any more. My mom got pissed and took my keys the other day and only gave them back later after crying and putting me through a major guilt trip. Then today I'm just talking about random stuff and my dad asks me something and I answer and then he's like "its a yes or no question" and got all pissed off cause he wanted me to answer with just a yes or no. Bah... I'd love a car but I'd like to get out of here more than anything else.

 

[Rkonster]

Hmm, but is there a reason for your parents to get pissed off? Not trying to accuse or anything, but I'm curious to hear their side of the story.

 

[Kadarin]

What is it that you're being given the choice of leaving over? Why did your mom take your keys and only give them back after crying? That does not sound like a typical Norman Rockwell Family Moment, so there may be more going on here than meets the eye.

If what you're looking for is a genuine assessment from people on this board as to whether you should move out or not, it would help to have the full story. However, so far to me it sounds like you should definitely vacate the house.

 

[Ultima]

Originally posted by: Rkonster
Hmm, but is there a reason for your parents to get pissed off? Not trying to accuse or anything, but I'm curious to hear their side of the story.

I have a job, I pay for my education, I pay for my stuff, I even end up paying for glasses and dentist trips cause they say they can't pay or just don't want to, whatever. Even though we did make 80k canadian a year. They say I don't "respect" them, however the way I see it is that they just don't have the time or just don't care. Or maybe I have a grudge against them for the bs they pulled when I was younger. My real dad left when I was 6months old, and then my mom lived with my grandma for some time. Then the entire family got into a huge fight and didn't speak for many years. This situation is still not entirely healed. My mom moved around a couple times then met up with my dad (not my real biological father). We moved not too long after. I had social difficulties because I never could keep any of my friends (cause we always moved somewhere else) or develop the proper skills. Then, this guy did one thing that I am extremely resentful for, he took me out of karate. Me, being smaller (at the time, I'm tall now but thin), had NO chance against the bigger guys there, especially having no social skills. Uh, this was around grade 3? I got annihilated there and they didn't do jack sh!t about it. That time was crazy, I'd get bloody a lot and I made a few others bloody but more of the time I was the bloody one. I did have a couple of friends but that didn't help much. That period of life messed me up good. I got so repressed that for the first couple years at 3 different high schools (still moving around) I didn't talk to anyone and was just an anti-social depressed bastard. At this time my parents moved in with my grandma cause her husband died and they wanted to help her. It didn't work out though and they decided to move out again. At this point I was seriously sick of my parents sh!t and decided to stay with my grandma, and at that school, the one place since elementary where I had decent friends. Things started turning around. It took a couple years to start getting me out of the shell (still not 100% out of it today though things are nothing like they were even 6 years ago), but by the time I graduated that high-school things were actually pretty decent. When I graduted I figured maybe my parents had cooled down a bit and anyway my grandma couldn't handle me financially anymore (my parents weren't paying a dime while I was there), so I went back there to go to college.

It was okay at first, especially since I had snapped not long before while not sober and was suicidal or something, but lately it's just been getting worse and worse. My dad has this attitude where no matter what I do, it's not good enough for him. If I'm in school but don't have a job, "Get a job or you're out the door!". If I get a job, "Get up early and take shorter showers. It's seriously pissing me off". If I get good grades in school, "Well it must have been easy or you wouldn't have done so good". Stuff like that that just kills my self-esteem, of which I finally managed to get some. All in all I think I'm pissed at my dad more cause he's more responsible for the things that really got to me, like not even letting me learn how to defend myself. I have a resentment at my mom too because she smoked while pregnant which deformed me. She was young and stupid though so I can't blame her too much, but it still affects me and for the rest of my life, I can't help but have some resentment.

They both smoke today and then say they can't afford just to send me to a dentist even if the insurance pays most of the cost. Ugh... after all these years I've almost totally destroyed the shell that had built up, if I can get away from them maybe I can also unlearn the bs that I've unconsciously picked up. They're STILL fighting with most of my family. That doesn't help either when you can't even have christmases because your family hates each other. I haven't really scratched the surface with this post, there's just so much bs to deal with. I mean, I'm no angel either, but I do have a job and pay for school and get good grades, if I were in their shoes I'd lighten up on me... but that's just me.

I know some of you will just think I'm whining but this is how I feel.

 

[Rkonster]

Hmmmm, that doesn't sound very pleasant at all. Well, if you know you can afford moving out, if may be something to try. They seemed to have threatened to kick you out anyway. Who knows, maybe your relation ship with them will improve once you stop seeing them all the time.

 

[chickendinner]

I still live with mine and they are drunks

 

[dude]

If you can't get along too well, even after all this time, it might be a better idea if you checked out. But have all the plans ready before telling them. That way, if they are against it, or even for it, you're ready to leave with all your items already packed.

Maybe it's just a change, or some time apart, that is what all of you needs.

Hope all works out.

 

[her209]

You have to be your parents' butler before they consider you a worthy offspring.

Are they asian by any chance?

 

[Vette73]

I have lived with a lot of people, and I have seen it all, from bailing the drunk roommate out of jail to haveing a $300 phone bill and the roommate running out.


1. Make sure EVERYBODIES name is on the lease. That way if they bail you can take them to Small Claims Court

2. If the phone(or some other utility) is in your name and your roommates are more than 7 days late, take that utility away. If its the phone then take all the ohones and put them in your room. If its the power go outside and turn it off and tell them its there fault and they owe you another $20 to have it turned back on etc...

3. Get their parents to co-sign the utilitys and/or the lease, so that way you have a fail safe to go to if they turn out to be creeps.

4. set down some ground rules BEFORE you sign anything. i.e. who does the dishs, or takes out the trash, how clean does the place have to be to make everybody happy etc...

5. if someone drinks a lot now, then don't even think of having them for a roommate. The will get a DUI, or even worst

6. if they smoke make sure they know they can't EVER do it inside, even their room. Put this rule down again before signing anything.

7. make sure everybody can afford at least one year of rent and bills. If their job is only for the summer, askthem how they plan on paying the bills.

8. if everything looks good then get your new roommates and go to K-mart or something like, and buy all the household items and split the bill. Like broom and mops, paper towels, house airfilters etc.... This will get them use to paying their fair share and maybe help yall get closer together. Because having a friend and living with a person are 2 different things.

9. and last get a place that got room but is less than you wanted to spend. That way if someone bails you can pay their rent for a month and it will not hurt you. After 6 months or a year then look for a nucer place if the roommates turn out to be good people. Just DON'T GET A PLACE that is right at your max. You will get burned if you blow your load and have nothing else.


Moving out can be great or a nightmare. Make sure you do all this boreing stuff or YOU WILL GET BURNED!!!!!!
And yes you will fight every now and then, thats life. Just don't let it blow over and be a adult about it.

Good luck.