Serious question: would you pull the plug?

[teddymines]

We have a situation in the family where a member is in very poor health and currently in intensive care. This person is on about 15 different drugs, no kidney function (on dialysis 3x-4x week), has diabetes, osteoperosis, poor peripheral circulation, poor vision, had quad bypass, and now has about 30% heart function. Also been in the hospital just about every weekend for the past 3 months. Age: 78.

The situation is very hard on the family, not to mention this individual. There is no hope for improvement, and any time out of intensive care is just borrowed time (2 weeks max until the next event, according to history).

If you were this person, would you just refuse care and let go?

 

[yakko]

Yes I would let go.

 

[Geekbabe]

This is not a question I would ask here. Surely the hospital has a counseling depart with someone who can help you and your family reach this very serious decision ?


I'm very sorry you are faced with this

 

[pyonir]

depends on if the person was in a coma or not. if you can still have a conversation with the person either through speaking, writing or even eye blinks, then no. i wouldn't. but if the person is in a coma and has no chance whatsoever to come out of it, yes, i would.

 

[ATLien247]

I used to say that I would not want to be on life support of any kind for any reason whatsoever. But now that I have a wife and child to look out for, I can say that I was an idiot before.

Now, if I were in the situation that was described, I would probably give the go ahead to pull the plug. There's only so much modern medicine can do for you, and I don't think I could handle prolonging the misery.

 

[b0mbrman]

I really don't think I could. Yes, it might be the practical thing but I know I wouldn't be able to

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

Every situation is unique. Talk it over carefully with the health care team involved and family. Follow what you believe and think after obtaining all information. The best decision is an informed one.

 

[LostHiWay]

My family just went through something similar. Trust me...the hardest part is deceiding what to do. After we pulled the plug and she died we all felt 100% better.

 

[DAWeinG]

Touch decision, I don't have an answer for that one

 

[Frosty3799]

:-\ that sucks dude... sorry to hear

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

When an animal has reached a point where all it knows is pain, where it cannot find any relieve in their live anymore, it is called humane to let them be put down, to release them from their misery.

When it concerns humans though we suddenly get a lot more selfish. The person isn't allowed to die until their last bit of dignity has been stripped away and we can no longer keep the shell alive that once was a human being. Better to let them suffer endlessly then to have to give up hope, eventhough you know the situation is hopeless from the start.

If the person can still decide for him-/herself they should be left the choice. If not, the family should consider what the person would prefer: to be remembered as he/she once was, or to be remembered living on like a broken plant. As long as the person him-/herself has hope, still finds some pleasure in living, you cannot take that away. The moment that person no longer wants to live, only has pain, suffering and decay left, who are you then to force life upon that person.

I've also seen it happen, where an old lady who's mind was quickly deteriorating asked a doctor to die with dignity, and was refused it. It was very hard for the family to see the once so proud lady later on, unable to even go to the toilet in time, dirtying herself, unable to eat without help, with not even the slightest memory of whom she was left. That is not a life anymore. That is just refusing to give up on an already gone person.

 

[Harvey]

I think some of you are missing teddymine's point. I believe the question is not whether you would pull the plug on someone else. Rather it is, if you were the patient, would you refuse further treatment?

The answer is very personal for each individual. My Mom is 86. Recently she has gone through a number of close calls, and she is often in a lot of pain. Right now, she is OK, and I hope it stays that way. She has left instructions that, in a medical emergency, no "heroic measures" should be used to save her life if there is no chance to regain at least her current quality of life. If she dies, I will miss her terribly, but I can't, and won't, make any attempt to override her wishes.

 

[Viper GTS]

Depends on age, & how much I felt I'd accomplished.

Right now? Screw that, I have stuff yet to live for.

At 78? I'd probably be seriously considering it.

Viper GTS

 

[NutBucket]

I agree. Assuming the patient is coherent and such it should be up to him or her since they are the one that is really suffering. If they don't know what's going on at all then it is obviously a decision based on the families' wishes and the expert opinion(s) of the medical team.

 

[troglodytis]

took the words out of my mouth harvey. question is would YOU want to live.

if i was today in that state(at my current age of 26) i would keep on fighting. i would not want to be left on life support as a vegitable and i also want no 'heroic' efforts made to keep me alive. but if it's just tons of meds, lots of pain, and staying in the hospital a few days every week or two, i'll keep fighting for life.


later in may life, when i'm at that age, 78, i might feel differently. i imagine i will feel like not figting, but i might surprise my youthfull self.



and i would hope that my friends and family would support any decision i make on the matter.

 

[teddymines]

Harvey interpreted my post correctly, sorry if I wasn't clear.

The problem is that there is really no quality of life from our perspective, and the number of bad days greatly outweigh the number of good days. This person is not religious, so fear of death may be a factor. Since I am not in that hospital bed, I cannot understand what continues to drive the will to live (and simply will not ask this person). We have discussed living wills and DNR's, but there has been no commitment.

Seems to me like a terrible way to go out, slow and without dignity.

 

[gopunk]

harvey beat me to it.

as for the well-intentioned replies... i don't see why the family should be discussing this... shouldn't it be the individual's decision?

anyways, uh... maybe. i can't say without being in that position.

 

[Russ]

There is no more profound an act of love then that which causes the giver great pain.

Russ, NCNE

 

[BCYL]

Yes, I would pull the plug...

And I have also told my SO that if I ever get into this situation, pull the plug on me as well... It's better for everybody...

But again, this is just my opinion... I am not trying to influence you one way or the other...

 

[Russ]

As a PS:

Teddy,

She sounds like a cousin of mine who passed a few years ago. She was in her mid-90's when she finally went. For 15 years prior to that, she had lived in a nursing home, barely recognizing anybody, and had suffered several strokes, heart attacks and various other illnesses. Every time something happened, her kids thought that she'd finally go, but she just kept hanging on.

It was they that finally convinced her that time had come, and she finally let go. It was almost as if will alone had kept her going, and once she was convinced, it was that same will that alowed her to move on.

Russ, NCNE

 

[LordMaul]

Yes. Had to decide the same thing for my Grandfather...I'd never want to spend weeks and weeks being held alive on machines when I'm almost 80 years old, when all I have to live for is to go home and be a veggie and get whined at by my 80=something year old wife.

 

[JohnnyReb]

It is worth mentioning that refusing health care and thus dying is not the same as suicide. I have seen people who have refused care and lived for years. In a couple of situations, getting off medication made their last few years very satisfying.


I'm 67, and look forward to the last third of my life.


If your family member has been washed by the Blood, then he has nothing to fear from death.


John

 

[Smolek]

Unfortunately Medicine doesnt cure anything, it just stalls the inevitable.

Now to your question, only after discussing it over with your family and if possible the person themself should a decision like that made. Some have true hope it will pass and want to live but some are happy enough with their life and accomplishments and are ready to go.

 

[Jfur]

<< This is not a question I would ask here. Surely the hospital has a counseling depart with someone who can help you and your family reach this very serious decision ?


I'm very sorry you are faced with this >>

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

I would pull my own plug, wrap the cord around my neck tie it off and jump out the window. If I'm suffering like that and there is no way out I'll off myself before going to the hospital. I don't want to rack up 10s of thousands of dollars for my family to have to pay off when I die anyways.

The sad truth for a lot of people is that they can't make this decision. The insurance companies make it.