Self esteem problem: Alittle lengthy

evolvedbullet

Senior member
Mar 11, 2006
543
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For the past 4 to 6 weeks, I have been trying to get a minor (or heavier) grasp on Adobe Photoshop CS3 Extended. But the problem is I play Garry's mod and make poses within the mod as assets for my photoshop manipulation. In the beginning of my goal, I started to edit poses like crazy. After I posted some up on the internet, I see another guy who did a picture with almost the exact same posing as mine but looks 195% better looking. Plus he includes how long it took to make it; from the look of it, he takes 1/4th of the time I take to make a picture. This got to me and made me feel like shit, but I went past that bridge when I came to it. That wasn't the problem though, it was what lied ahead that made everything worse.

When I started some new methods of relaxation, I started to come to the realization that I have to somehow deal with living with my mother and brother under one roof. I can't stand them and their voices have become the sound of an annoying kid. They are stress magnets and pessimistic thinkers, I seem to be the only one within the house that sees things on the bright side. I made a solution to that problem but another problem took it's place; I started a new variety of things that would, theoretically, make my life better but it doesn't seem to be working. I see work as work, my brother and mother as extreme single minded thinkers, and have given up on making friends. I have enough problems as it is and now I am trying to heal a wound that likes tearing itself open, I feel like I'm beating a dead horse since a bad feeling comes to mind every time I'm bored or stressed. It's a cycle, it can be broken somehow but I haven't found the rout that leads the way out yet.

If you want to see what kind of pictures I do, here is a sample (img tags don't work with this site so it's all by link):
*There all the same pose, just different angles*
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1:http://img244.imageshack.us/im...ychirontl340001mh0.jpg
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2:http://img90.imageshack.us/img...ychirontl340004np2.jpg
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3:http://img137.imageshack.us/im...ychirontl340002mi1.jpg

If you want to see an edit I did, you won't be pleased I think. But if you want to take a gander, go right ahead:

http://img244.imageshack.us/im...rontl340001copyds1.jpg
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I also have been trying to do something with movies within Garry's mod. I made one that was 46 minutes long but that hurt everything. My school, my perception on things, my sleep, you name it. I used Sony Vegas 7 to mix it all up; if you want to see the movie, it is really sad that I can't. Since it's pretty lengthy, it's not going to go on youtube (Thats the only video uploading site I know).

Movies and Photoshop, both things of these are my personal goals to achieve on my personal time. I've seen people who are 16 or 17 and have mastered the programs of Java, Flashmedia, Sony Vegas Platinum 8.0, Photoshop, and ImageReady. I don't understand how these kids can do such a thing, it's like they're machines or something. I'm not used to having so much personal responsibility on my shoulders and I need alot of time to adjust (I think, school is hard enough as it is and my Asbergers Syndrome is slowing my thought process. From a test I did along with pal, it takes 2x as longer than the average person). It sounds like I'm in a crisis at the moment and you know what, your right I think, I am panicing for an unknown reason.

If I need to slow my pace down, I will feel like I will need to be doing something and if I don't change my goals, or my workload in achieving them goals, I will fall down a pit of unforeseeable depression (I think) caused by continous strikes against your brain. That would give one hell of a headache to deal with and I don't know if I have enough Tylenol to hold it off lol. I'm basically at a crossroads and am in a need of help. What do you guys think I should do?
 

bobsmith1492

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2004
3,875
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I've always had to go out and do something dramatically different: sign up for something requiring extended effort with an ultimate goal. For example, I signed up for the Chicago Marathon and trained from April until the marathon at the end of October. Not to mention long-distance running provides a natural high...

Then, this year I took three months after graduating to go on a bicycle tour of the country. Same idea.

I don't know what to say about photoshopping and I have no idea what you're doing (Garry's mod?) and I don't know why this is in the L+R forums but good luck finding anything useful here...

To get things straight: you're upset that it's taking too long to learn this program? Anyway, maybe just your writing about it will help you out in the long run. Also, not everyone can be good at everything - maybe look at what else you're good at and take some time with things you enjoy.
 

mayonnaise

Senior member
Apr 2, 2006
391
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0
Short term goals.

You seem like a person that likes to take on too much at once then you become disappointed that you cannot accomplish it in an extraordinary fashion. Try setting up shorter hurdles for yourself to jump over, I think you'll find that if you do more of those you'll be more satisfied and happy with yourself.

And stop comparing yourself to other people. Find what makes you happy and stick to that.

(That whole thing you're doing requires a bit of creativity, I don't think you're focusing much on that aspect but rather more on "how do I make mine look better than this guy's", try flipping that around)
 

warmodder

Senior member
Nov 1, 2007
553
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Originally posted by: mayonnaise
Short term goals.

You seem like a person that likes to take on too much at once then you become disappointed that you cannot accomplish it in an extraordinary fashion. Try setting up shorter hurdles for yourself to jump over, I think you'll find that if you do more of those you'll be more satisfied and happy with yourself.

And stop comparing yourself to other people. Find what makes you happy and stick to that.

(That whole thing you're doing requires a bit of creativity, I don't think you're focusing much on that aspect but rather more on "how do I make mine look better than this guy's", try flipping that around)

Agreed if you compare yourself to other people you'll always end up feeling down, because you obviously can't be the best at everything.

Also this gary's mod + photoshop thing looks lame. Read some ps tutorials and you'll get alot better quickly.
 

KingGheedora

Diamond Member
Jun 24, 2006
3,248
1
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I have no idea what those "poses" are that you're talking about, or what they are used for. But, I read an article that said anyone can become an expert on something (meaning they are better than 95-98%+ of the population at it) just by practicing regularly. Piano, drawing, language, whatever. It just takes dedication, or discipline, or great interest. Basically stick to it and you will get better, that's not something people just say to make you feel better, it really is true.
 

bobsmith1492

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2004
3,875
3
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Originally posted by: KingGheedora
I have no idea what those "poses" are that you're talking about, or what they are used for. But, I read an article that said anyone can become an expert on something (meaning they are better than 95-98%+ of the population at it) just by practicing regularly. Piano, drawing, language, whatever. It just takes dedication, or discipline, or great interest. Basically stick to it and you will get better, that's not something people just say to make you feel better, it really is true.

Pure practice may not make you an expert at something. "Practice makes perfect" is wrong when it comes to, for example from personal experience, playing piano. I can play something over and over but unless I take the time to go through the tough parts and do them correctly I'll never get better. "Perfect practice makes perfect." Also, some natural talent is a key element as well - if you are tall, you are going to be better at basketball. If you have excellent reflexes, you'd make a better - whatever physical activity or gaming - than than someone with slow reflexes. I'm sure similar things apply to the OP but also there is no excuse for simply giving up...
 

evolvedbullet

Senior member
Mar 11, 2006
543
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Lower expectations, keep trying and never give up, work hard on it, don't let other pieces of art bring me down, got it (on alittle notepad :) ).
If any more suggestions come to mind, please share them.

By the way, thanks people.
 

Saint Michael

Golden Member
Aug 4, 2007
1,877
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If you really want a self-esteem booster, just go watch some videos or read some posts from people who have it way worse off than you. Actually, your position doesn't sound too bad, my life is worse... much worse. I won't go into that though, this isn't a charity. Point is, there is no upper like the downers of others.