• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Saying goodbye to mother

Status
Not open for further replies.

tyler811

Diamond Member
You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one! You don't even have to like 'em!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door.
We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!

The cab driver hit a parked car.
 
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Weak...and predictable.

So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long. It's tough to get a boner before screwing the cat."

The cab driver gave him a cheerful blowjob, and then crashed into a parked car.



There, better?

 
Originally posted by: Jeff7
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Weak...and predictable.

So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long. It's tough to get a boner before screwing the cat."

The cab driver gave him a cheerful blowjob, and then crashed into a parked car.

There, better?

The joke was just too predictable. What can I say except I'm sorry...oh wait, that would be a lie. 😛
 
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: Jeff7
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Weak...and predictable.

So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long. It's tough to get a boner before screwing the cat."

The cab driver gave him a cheerful blowjob, and then crashed into a parked car.

There, better?

The joke was just too predictable. What can I say except I'm sorry...oh wait, that would be a lie. 😛

Like you said weak and predictable
 
I lol'ed, but really OP, if you post the forwarded e-mail jokes you get here, you have to expect a certain level of abuse and disdain.

I honestly think it would help your case if you admitted up front this was going to be a joke someone sent you so that posters could take it (or leave it) on those terms.

Remember, this is OT. We are all serious and important Masters of the Universe here! 😉
 
Originally posted by: Perknose
I lol'ed, but really OP, if you post the forwarded e-mail jokes you get here, you have to expect a certain level of abuse and disdain.

I honestly think it would help your case if you admitted up front this was going to be a joke someone sent you so that posters could take it (or leave it) on those terms.

Remember, this is OT. We are all serious and important Masters of the Universe here! 😉

Oh hell no one here upsets me. I take it all in good fun and people are entitled to their opinions. I am just having with Jules and the the other way around, I think, if not well the world keeps on spinning. I do take it or leave, if people find it funny and it helps their day then great. If some people do not like it then so is their priviledge. For the most part I like everyone here and love the different opinions that are expressed. Though some could without the personal attacks I have read on here. But that is to be expected when you have some many people on here from differnet ethnic, political, social and economic backgrounds. That is what makes this country so great.

Also the joke was not a forwarded emial but one I heard at work. There was a time before the internet that people actually talked to other people before this whole big internet conspiracy 😀

And remember May the wind always be at your back, the sunshine upon your face and your camel downwind when he spits.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top