M: Hehehe, You do realize, I hope that I know the kinds of things I think about and you have no idea, that having just told you that I consider something all the time you tell me you think I am lying? Do you not see you are not only insulting but insane?
CK: Am I? Or am I simply holding up a mirror to you and you are not liking what you see?
This is rather amusingly ironic.
You claimed that "everything [you] do is to confront the certainty of others." And I said you don't appear to do this yourself, and you now have become angry and offended at that comment.
M: Wonderfully amazing. I asked you:
"Do you really think I don't apply the same analysis to myself?"
And you responded:
"Honestly? Yeah, most of the time."
So let's cut the bull shit that I appear not to do this because if you had said that, as I already pointed out, there would be no problem. But you made no suggestion whatsoever that I appeared to do that, you said you honestly don't think I do most of the time. You honestly know that I never look at my motives most of the time and not that I don't appear to. I can understand why you would like to fudge this all you can.
Furthermore, your notion of certainty certainly seems different than mine. I am pretty certain I have five fingers on each of my hands that that something I call myself is typing, but I am not certain I know my unconscious motivations. So when I'm talking about uncertainty, I am talking about hidden morivations that make people do things they think they do for other reasons. I am also certain about what I think about, that I spend time trying to understand my motivations, and I am certain you have no idea if I do or not.
CK: But your response is evidence of exactly what I said: absolute certainty, like this:
"M" I know what I think about and I said so. You no nothing about it. Do you not see how pathetic and how sad that is? You went right out there in La La land.
CK: So, you appear happy to challenge the certainty of others, but not to challenge your own -- and especially not, to have your certainty challenged by others.
M: Yes I am a real monster that way. I challenge the assumptions that people make that are impossible to have rationally, like there is a God because the Bible says so. But I would never question the reading material of somebody who said he reads the Bible. I can have no idea if he does or not. I question the absurdity of words like the implied certainty of the expression, "I'm happy to do this" but I pass on making it an issue because it's of little importance but the notion that I don't want mine challenged is all your own. You challenged my certainty that I know what I think about, not anything with hidden motivation. I know what the fuck I think about. You didn't challenge any unconscious assumptions I make, you challenged something I certainly know.
CK: A rather odd double standard, is it not?
M: The only double standard appears to me to be a product of desperate and illogical thinking and a kind of pettiness. Pretty sad is what it seems.
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M: Had you been a truly rational person you could have challenged what you see as results or stated you see none forthcoming, but you have no idea if I perform such self questioning or not because you can't see what people think. But you can project on them what you do.
CK: I can see what you think exactly as much as you can see what others think. If it's invalid for me to "project" onto you, then why is it valid for you to project onto others?
M: I can't see what others think unless they tell me. If somebody says he self-reflects I don't tell him he lying. I comment on real thoughts that others express. You didn't question the motivation of something I said, you denied that I do what I said, not that I don't do it well, not that I don't see some ulterior motive for what I do, but that I don't to it at all. I know that you are wrong and I am completely certain of it just like what I had for breakfast.
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CK: Moving along, you say this ...
"M" Be so kind, if you answer any of this to include how it is that you and not me gets to know what I think, not whether it's right or wrong, but subject matter wise.
CK: ... followed immediately by this:
"M" People lie to themselves all the time. They lie about things when they think. They lie about their feelings, but if a bridge engineer says he thinks about bridges a lot, what kind of person would come along and say, you don't think about bridges.
CK: You cannot see how self-contradictory these statements are? That you would be offended at any suggestion that I know what you think, but you have no problem doing that very same thing to others -- which you do on a regular basis?
M: Ah shit. You didn't tell me you know what I think. You told me you know I don't think what I said I do which is patently absurd. I don't tell people they don't think what they say they think but that what they say they think has unconscious bias. These are totally different things and you seem to be too obsessed with defending your illogic to see it.
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M: It looks to me like you just took any pretense you had to reasonableness and threw it down the toilet.
CK: Have I? Not from where I sit.
M: Too bad. There were so many issues I brought up I thought more important than being dragged through this crap, the notion that self knowledge requires self confrontation, the matter of unconscious assumptions, the beauty of faith that leads to God as a manifestation of love, the notion of religions as bridges, the motivations of folk who argue for and against belief, etc. But everything that leads to the truth of motivation gets deflected. But the problem with self hate is that the one thing it will never allow is self confrontation. It is that simple truth, I think, that makes you sure that what you say to me makes me angry. It would make you angry. Do you notice at all that you are extremely defensive? If so can you say why?