Thought this was funny as hell. Ebonics varation of The Night Before Christmas!
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Wuz de night befoe Cremma an all ovah da hood
Er body wuz sleepin, dey wuz sleepin good
We hung up r stockin and hope like da hek
Dat ole Sandy Claw goan bring da welfare check
All de family wuz lay in dey beds
While Funderbert wine dance in dey heads
I'd passed out on de flow right next to Ma
When I hear such a fuss I tink it wuz de law
I looked frew da bars dat covered ma doe
Spectin da sheriff wif a warrant to show
And what I seen den made me say "Look at DAT"
Dey wuz a huge wallamelon pulled by sum wharf rats
All ober de worl Sandy Claw be white
But he look like us bros come dis Cremma night
Fastah dan a poleeze car de homeboy he came
He hollah at dem wharf rats, he call dem by name
On Leroy, On Roosevelt, Jonterious Lee,
On Willy and Malcolm - Dey's a sight to see!
He landed dat melon out dere in da screet
I knew fo sure den wuz de damndest I seen
He didn't come down no chimley
He picked de lock on ma doe
An I says to myself "Sheeit! He dun dis befoe!"
He hat dis big bag fulla presents I spec
Wif Air Jordans and Golt to wear 'round ma neck
But he lef no good presents, jus stoled all my sh|t
Got ma drugs and ma guns and ma Burglar Kit
Wif ma stuff in dat bag out da winda he flew
I woulda chaste him but he took ma knife too!
He hop in dat melon and whooped out a switch
He were gone in one second - Dat Fat Sum a BITCH!
Next year I be hopin a white Sandy we get
Cuz de black Sandy Claw - he ain't wurf a SH|T!
---------------
Wuz de night befoe Cremma an all ovah da hood
Er body wuz sleepin, dey wuz sleepin good
We hung up r stockin and hope like da hek
Dat ole Sandy Claw goan bring da welfare check
All de family wuz lay in dey beds
While Funderbert wine dance in dey heads
I'd passed out on de flow right next to Ma
When I hear such a fuss I tink it wuz de law
I looked frew da bars dat covered ma doe
Spectin da sheriff wif a warrant to show
And what I seen den made me say "Look at DAT"
Dey wuz a huge wallamelon pulled by sum wharf rats
All ober de worl Sandy Claw be white
But he look like us bros come dis Cremma night
Fastah dan a poleeze car de homeboy he came
He hollah at dem wharf rats, he call dem by name
On Leroy, On Roosevelt, Jonterious Lee,
On Willy and Malcolm - Dey's a sight to see!
He landed dat melon out dere in da screet
I knew fo sure den wuz de damndest I seen
He didn't come down no chimley
He picked de lock on ma doe
An I says to myself "Sheeit! He dun dis befoe!"
He hat dis big bag fulla presents I spec
Wif Air Jordans and Golt to wear 'round ma neck
But he lef no good presents, jus stoled all my sh|t
Got ma drugs and ma guns and ma Burglar Kit
Wif ma stuff in dat bag out da winda he flew
I woulda chaste him but he took ma knife too!
He hop in dat melon and whooped out a switch
He were gone in one second - Dat Fat Sum a BITCH!
Next year I be hopin a white Sandy we get
Cuz de black Sandy Claw - he ain't wurf a SH|T!
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