Sales vs Finance (parody of a Few Good Men)

calbear2000

Golden Member
Oct 17, 2001
1,027
0
0
SALES: ?You want answers??

FINANCE: ?I think I?m entitled.?

SALES: ?You want answers??

FINANCE: ?I want the truth!!?

SALES: ?YOU CAN?T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!, Son, we live in
a world that requires revenue? who?s going to find it?
You?...in Finance?? We have a greater responsibility
than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at Sales &
Marketing and your curse at our incentives. You have
that luxury?You have the luxury of not knowing what we
know, that while tragic, current expenses are driving
new sales. And that our efforts and tactics, while
grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE!

You don?t want to know the truth because deep down in
places you don?t talk about at staff meetings? you
want us on that sale; you NEED us on that sale! We use
words like comps?, upgrades?, discounts?; we use these
words as the backbone of the time spent building a
relationship with a customer and negotiating
something? you use them as a punch line!

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain
myself to people who rise and sleep under the very
blanket of income I provide and then question the
manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just
said ?thank you? and went on your way? Otherwise I
suggest you pick up a phone, solicit some customers
and CLOSE A DEAL! Either way, I don?t give a damn
what you think you?re entitled to!!?

FINANCE: ?Did you expense the lap dances??

SALES: ?I did my job??

FINANCE: ?DID YOU EXPENSE THE LAP DANCES?????

SALES: (shouting) ?YOU?RE DAMN RIGHT I
DID!!!!!!!!!!!!?
 

theNEOone

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2001
5,745
4
81
oh man, i think i'm going to act this out at our next manager's meeting. i like it.


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