Salary, debt, rent... and then travel...

[GT1999]

So here's my situation... mid 20s, new gf, she wants to travel somewhere for a vacation. Only known her about 4 months... we both have paid vaca days through work.

I make about 55k and pay almost 1k in rent each month (cost of living in my area is expensive), she probably makes 30-40k and still lives with her 'rents. I owe the majority of the money on my car (~16k)... and do have money in savings but I've never been much to travel out of the USA -- just Canada. So this will probably be a domestic trip for sure to keep costs down.

How does one agree to travel when there's debt to be paid? It seems hard to do for me... Granted, I haven't been on a trip out of state in forever.. also I'd feel obliged to pay for the whole trip, which if it's the east of west coast could be ~1k a person easily, so I'd feel like an ass but I think I should ask her to contribute... especially if it's 1/2 her idea.

Edit: Yes, she'll undoubtedly offer to contribute, but you know what I mean...

 

[rasczak]

Originally posted by: Geekish Thoughts
So here's my situation... mid 20s, new gf, she wants to travel somewhere for a vacation. Only known her about 4 months... we both have paid vaca days through work.

I make about 55k and pay almost 1k in rent each month (cost of living in my area is expensive), she probably makes 30-40k and still lives with her 'rents. I owe the majority of the money on my car (~16k)... and do have money in savings but I've never been much to travel out of the USA -- just Canada. So this will probably be a domestic trip for sure to keep costs down.

How does one agree to travel when there's debt to be paid? It seems hard to do for me... Granted, I haven't been on a trip out of state in forever.. also I'd feel obliged to pay for the whole trip, which if it's the east of west coast could be ~1k a person easily, so I'd feel like an ass but I think I should ask her to contribute... especially if it's 1/2 her idea.

You start a vacation fund and pay into it. Tht's what i try to do anyway.

 

[hiromizu]

Vacation is something you do to forget about the little things in life. Just go out and have fun. You can always make more money but you can't always go someplace nice with someone you love.

 

[Dead3ye]

Make her pay half, no doubt.

 

[AmpedSilence]

why do feel obliged to pay for her? Don't get me wrong, that's an honorable thing to do, but you guys have only been going out for 4 months. If it was like multiple years or your engaged then i can see it, but four months?

i don't know, i guess there's a reason that i'm single.

 

[spidey07]

If she lives with her parents then she needs to move out ASAP instead of spending money on a vacation. She's an adult, time to act like one.

And for SURE make her pay her share, you're a sucker if you don't. Again, she is supposed to be an adult, time to act like one.

 

[E equals MC2]

Originally posted by: AmpedSilence
why do feel obliged to pay for her? Don't get me wrong, that's an honorable thing to do, but you guys have only been going out for 4 months. If it was like multiple years or your engaged then i can see it, but four months?

i don't know, i guess there's a reason that i'm single.

nah i agree with u. I got a gf and she's a good girl. she would offer to pay even if i offered.

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: Dead3ye
Make her pay half, no doubt.

^^^

wait until you are married to pay for everything

 

[GT1999]

Originally posted by: AmpedSilence
why do feel obliged to pay for her? Don't get me wrong, that's an honorable thing to do, but you guys have only been going out for 4 months. If it was like multiple years or your engaged then i can see it, but four months?

i don't know, i guess there's a reason that i'm single.

No, you're right. Initially the guy pays a bit but we're 50/50... I know she'll offer, her paying isn't going to be a problem. The girl cooks, pays for tons of stuff. I probably shouldn't have even mentioned that part... it's mostly debt to travel as a concern. Debt sucks!

 

[Gooberlx2]

You shouldn't feel obligated to pay her whole way. That's ridiculous, and if she cares at all she should say the same thing.

 

[kranky]

I surely don't think you should foot the entire bill, nor should you feel obliged to do so. Not for a gf of 4 months when the vacation was entirely her idea.

Easy way to get the discussion started is to say "How do you want to split the costs?" You'll know right away if she was assuming you'll pay for it all.

If the whole idea makes you uncomfortable, then just figure out how much you would be OK spending and say "I could go up to $X for my share."

Seeing as you're skittish about the money part, just get that out of the way up front, then you can make your plans without having to worry about it again.

 

[davestar]

Originally posted by: Geekish Thoughts
How does one agree to travel when there's debt to be paid? It seems hard to do for me... Granted, I haven't been on a trip out of state in forever...

do you realize that this line of thought is relatively insane?

people have debt for the majority of their lives, whether it's mortgage, student loans, credit cards, cars, etc. if all you owe is 16k on your car and you're putting away money towards retirement, then you're way ahead of most of the US. have fun with your 25 year old girlfriend, or else you'll kick yourself when you're looking at your wrinkly old wife in 2050 and finally decide you can have fun.

 

[GT1999]

Originally posted by: davestar

Originally posted by: Geekish Thoughts
How does one agree to travel when there's debt to be paid? It seems hard to do for me... Granted, I haven't been on a trip out of state in forever...

do you realize that this line of thought is relatively insane?

people have debt for the majority of their lives, whether it's mortgage, student loans, credit cards, cars, etc. if all you owe is 16k on your car and you're putting away money towards retirement, then you're way ahead of most of the US. have fun with your 25 year old girlfriend, or else you'll kick yourself when you're looking at your wrinkly old wife in 2050 and finally decide you can have fun.

:beer:

So I'm going somewhere. Now just to find where. Cheap vaca ideas anyone? lol

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Geekish Thoughts

Originally posted by: davestar

Originally posted by: Geekish Thoughts
How does one agree to travel when there's debt to be paid? It seems hard to do for me... Granted, I haven't been on a trip out of state in forever...

do you realize that this line of thought is relatively insane?

people have debt for the majority of their lives, whether it's mortgage, student loans, credit cards, cars, etc. if all you owe is 16k on your car and you're putting away money towards retirement, then you're way ahead of most of the US. have fun with your 25 year old girlfriend, or else you'll kick yourself when you're looking at your wrinkly old wife in 2050 and finally decide you can have fun.

:beer:

So I'm going somewhere. Now just to find where. Cheap vaca ideas anyone? lol

Punta Cana

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
Vacation is something you do to forget about the little things in life. Just go out and have fun. You can always make more money but you can't always go someplace nice with someone you love.

And this philosophy is exactly why so many people are in a credit crunch right now.

OP is on the right track - pay off debt first.

 

[daveshel]

If not for vacations, there would be no reason to go to work. But I live in the western US and like camping and hiking so I've never had to travel very far or spend a lot on travel.

 

[WingZero94]

This is the problem with the entitlement society. We are 'ENTITLED' to a trip so we can 'FORGET ABOUT LIFE'. How many vacations do you think the golden age took when they couldn't afford it? I would say you bought too much of a car for your salary for one. Pay off your debt, find a house and THEN start thinking about vacations. Perhaps you and the GF will get married - then you can take a honeymoon.

 

[MixMasterTang]

Originally posted by: CPA

Originally posted by: hiromizu
Vacation is something you do to forget about the little things in life. Just go out and have fun. You can always make more money but you can't always go someplace nice with someone you love.

And this philosophy is exactly why so many people are in a credit crunch right now.

OP is on the right track - pay off debt first.

I don't think that philosophy is why people are in debt. If the OP was considering paying for the whole trip on his credit card and not paying it off immediately, or if someone was suggestions that, then yes you would be correct. Do you expect someone to save up money, pay iff their car, save money and pay off their house, then make sure they put away enough money for retirement, then save for their kids college, and then finally take a vacation?

 

[thomsbrain]

I like kranky's post. "How do you want to split the costs" is a perfectly acceptable way to open this conversation. At this point, her income after "housing" costs isn't much lower than yours and you haven't been dating too long. She should definitely pay her own way. Some girls would balk at this on principle, and for me that would be a clear deal-breaker. I'm a person, not a gravy-train.

The exception would be if you were doing it as a special birthday gift or something. But if it's just a normal vacation, and it is her idea, it will be a positive indication of her character if she offers to pay her way.

 

[davestar]

Originally posted by: CPA

Originally posted by: hiromizu
Vacation is something you do to forget about the little things in life. Just go out and have fun. You can always make more money but you can't always go someplace nice with someone you love.

And this philosophy is exactly why so many people are in a credit crunch right now.

OP is on the right track - pay off debt first.

you can't possibly believe that blanket statement should be followed without considering the specifics of each person's situation, can you? if this guy has a low interest loan on his car, he'd actually be stupid to pay it off - his money could be beating that rate in even a savings account or CD. easily managed debt isn't a bad thing. forgoing responsibly considered enjoyment is.

 

[mrCide]

You dont live to work, you work to live. As long as it's reasonable, go ahead and enjoy yourself. I'm so anal about my money/mortgage because of what's going on with the market but I try to treat myself one or two times a year.

 

[Baked]

I think I choked a little when you claim 1K rent is expensive cost of living because it's so funny. You should check the avg. rent for San Francisco.

As for your question, if she suggested going on a vacation, she should pay half. You're not a pimp, you don't pay for her everything. What I don't get is where all your money goes when you make 55K and are worrying about your car payment. Do you have auto payment setup?

 

[GT1999]

Originally posted by: thomsbrain
I like kranky's post. "How do you want to split the costs" is a perfectly acceptable way to open this conversation. At this point, her income after "housing" costs isn't much lower than yours and you haven't been dating too long. She should definitely pay her own way. Some girls would balk at this on principle, and for me that would be a clear deal-breaker. I'm a person, not a gravy-train.

The exception would be if you were doing it as a special birthday gift or something. But if it's just a normal vacation, and it is her idea, it will be a positive indication of her character if she offers to pay her way.

She will definitely offer. One time we went to CPK with her best friend and her best friend's kid, and she didn't want me to pay so much she left her CC with the waiter before I even got in the restaurant somehow.

She just said she likes to go on a few trips each year and that she tries to go either way (with friends or whoever), and I'd prefer to go with her than have her tag a friend along. But it may just end up she'll go with a girlfriend instead of me at some point. I'm just not much for traveling all that much, and after seeing that most vacas hover around 1k a person, 3 of those a year would be hard to swallow I think with as much as I try to save and pay off debt, even with just my side of the cost.

Who doesn't need more money, right? I know I sure as hell do.

I know, I'll take up prostitution!

 

[GT1999]

Originally posted by: Baked
I think I choked a little when you claim 1K rent is expensive cost of living because it's so funny. You should check the avg. rent for San Francisco.

As for your question, if she suggested going on a vacation, she should pay half. You're not a pimp, you don't pay for her everything. What I don't get is where all your money goes when you make 55K and are worrying about your car payment. Do you have auto payment setup?

Alright, here's why I'm worried about costs guys.

I totalled my car this year. I had great insurance so I only paid $250 and actually made money on my old car, but now my insurance rate with my tickets is going to go through the fucking roof.

I'm the guy like CPA who posted earlier. I write down ALL my expenses each month...

Yes I have auto pay setup. 5% interest rate.

 

[tfinch2]

Originally posted by: Baked
I think I choked a little when you claim 1K rent is expensive cost of living because it's so funny. You should check the avg. rent for San Francisco.

Nobody gives a fuck about rent in San Francisco in this thread.