Ron white is hilarious

[Goosemaster]

"If you're hit by a Volvo, it doesn't matter how many sit-ups you did that morning."

 

[Rage187]

WTFBBQ


really.

 

[Kalvin00]

Very funny stuff. The BCC tour show was great, too 😀

"It was 4 in the morning....22 degrees outside...and you weren't there....pussy." 😀

 

[KK]

I liked the sunglasses bit.

KK

 

[Psycho18]

Fly away my space rocket, you know that you put money in my pocket....:laugh:

 

[JetBlack69]

Originally posted by: KK
I liked the sunglasses bit.

KK

"Well this decodes a digital signal from outer-fvcking-space!!!"

😀

EDIT: or was it "fvcking outerspace!!!" 😕

 

[Dedpuhl]

They call me....Tater Salad!

 

[acemcmac]

That's Drunk in Public if you know morse code :beer:

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: JetBlack69

Originally posted by: KK
I liked the sunglasses bit.

KK

"Well this decodes a digital signal from outer-fvcking-space!!!"

😀

EDIT: or was it "fvcking outerspace!!!" 😕

and then I felt stupid when I found out that the glasses had basic cable ;D

 

[KK]

"I didn't climb to the top of the fvcking food chain to eat carrots."

KK

 

[Goosemaster]

Her parents are loaaaaaoaoaoaooaoaded

They hayayayayayayayte me

I can't wait for them to dieieieieieiie

;D

 

[Goosemaster]

talking to wife about cooking and the smoke alarm:

"honey, the foods done before that particular timer goes off"

 

[Goosemaster]

'My son's name is Marshall. I named my son after an amplifier."

;D

 

[Kalvin00]

And there's a playskool carseat with a sesame street wheel attached to it.

😀

 

[JetBlack69]

Originally posted by: Goosemaster

Originally posted by: JetBlack69

Originally posted by: KK
I liked the sunglasses bit.

KK

"Well this decodes a digital signal from outer-fvcking-space!!!"

😀

EDIT: or was it "fvcking outerspace!!!" 😕

and then I felt stupid when I found out that the glasses had basic cable ;D

:thumbsup:

 

[chrisms]

Never heard of him

 

[Goosemaster]

Ron is showing his new truck off to his rich 'prick' of a brother. Brother is disappointed that he did not get a Mercedes

brother: [singing]:music:well the mercedes has 3 inch wipres for your head lights for use a rain storm:music:[/singing]


ron: well I got a place to fvck you sister

 

[Goosemaster]

speaking about the time he cheated on his wife with a hot blond after a set. He is explaining how his conscience also hadn;t had sex for three months and didn't make a peep when he did what he did:

here i am having a threeway with my concience...

Thirty minutes after it was done, he [ my conscience] was on my case again.

conscience: that was WRO-ONG!

ron: WTF..a few minutes ago you were jacking off on my shoulder!

 

[Goosemaster]

if you ever see a woman on the beach wearing a sea shell bathing suit and pick her up and put her up to your ear.......


you can here her scream.....i thought i would hear the ocean

LOL😀

 

[Kalvin00]

He's got on body armor, he's got on body armor.
I can see his head, just shoot him in the fvckin' head!

Bwahaha 😀

 

[Kalvin00]

Who's shootin' me in the leg, I wonder quietly to myself

:laugh:

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: Kalvin00

He's got on body armor, he's got on body armor.
I can see his head, just shoot him in the fvckin' head!

Bwahaha 😀

😀

i love the part where he talks about how it is illegal to shoot someone in the back..

but you can start shooting them in their legs until they turn around

....eventually they are going to get curious😀

he kills productive members of our society

then he should have stuck with rolling his turds into little balls and eats crayons

other states are trying to abolish the death penalty..my state is putting in an express lane

Ron concivincing someone that everyone is inherently gay:

Ron:well, do you like porn? do you like the man to have a scrawny penis?


freind: no, i like them to havebig throbbing co*ks

.....shock...

I did not know that about myself

he is truely one of the greats

 

[Goosemaster]

Those type of bouncers that watch roadhouse and beat off

BEST QUOTE EVER>

 

[cronos]

heheh..

 

[Goosemaster]

talking to the vet after they want to show him how to help out with the aRTICIAL ENSEMENATION PROCEDURE at home

You can go ahead and jack off the dog.

He follows me too much as it is.

talking about how his dog now begs to go to the vet for the artificial ensemination

dog:jack me off you fvking POS..i don;t have any god damn thumbs