Retirement: I Miscalculated

[olds]

The wife has always been the cook, I try to do dishes when she cooks but over the years, I've realistically done that about 10% of the time. But I've always worked more hours than her. By quite a bit. I am better when her family is visiting so she can hang with them.

Since retirement, I have stepped that percentage up and I am cooking more. But we have an issue. In the past, she couldn't leave dishes in the sink, they had to be washed asap. Now, when I cook, she washes them right away. When she cooks, she seems to be leaving them there till I wash them. :shocked:

I used to joke: "leave the dishes till Saturday, I'll do them then." Of course, knowing full well she could't leave them. I also joked that since I am retired, I never have to wash dishes again. I think I'll have to test that Saturday thing...

 

[Stopsignhank]

In other words, you have been spoiled by your wife.

We always had a deal that whoever cooked the other one cleaned up. We have also split the cooking about 50-50.

I have to admit doing the dishes sucks!

BTW are you going to go with an induction cook top or stay with gas?

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Cooking for me is the hardest part just because I hate it so much.

But as far as the whole cook vs. clean thing ours is much more simply....

For us it's.... Clean/bathe/put the kids to bed.... or clean the dishes... I'll fucking taking the dishes a million times over

 

[olds]

In other words, you have been spoiled by your wife.

We always had a deal that whoever cooked the other one cleaned up. We have also split the cooking about 50-50.

I have to admit doing the dishes sucks!

BTW are you going to go with an induction cook top or stay with gas?

Gas all the way.

 

[bbhaag]

Oh my, how long have you been retired? Just to put a little bit of a different spin on things so don't get upset. Perhaps your wife is feeling a little bit uncertain about things around the house now that you are retired? Your daily rolls are perhaps getting redefined as time goes on. My advice it just to go with the flow especially considering it something a bit more on the mundane side. If you do the cooking and she does the cleaning just reciprocate and do the same. By that I mean when she does the cooking you do the cleaning.

 

[BoomerD]

The first year of retirement (forced...medical) just about drove the both of us crazy. I was used to working 60+ hours per week...plus 2-5 hours per day commuting. She wasn't used to having me around the house all day, getting underfoot...didn't really take more than a couple if months before she set me straight.

 

[Zeze]

Ah, dishwashing - the great enemy of marriage.

 

[cytg111]

Ah, dishwashing - the great enemy of marriage.

We jest... but there is a gram of truth in there. Its end of the day, its a chore, everyone is tired, ready to kick back for that last couple of hours before groundhog day and it just cuts into quality time. Blessed be those that can make “the dishes time” into quality time.

 

[SKORPI0]

Is this related to that other thread about dishwashing and women?

Research suggests couples who wash dishes together have better sex | Research suggests couples who wash dishes together have better sex

As sharing the burden of work at the house becomes common, women are feeling less stressed and are often in the mood.

www.deccanchronicle.com

 

[bbhaag]

Is this related to that other thread about dishwashing and women?

Research suggests couples who wash dishes together have better sex | Research suggests couples who wash dishes together have better sex

As sharing the burden of work at the house becomes common, women are feeling less stressed and are often in the mood.

www.deccanchronicle.com

I didn't even have to read the article you linked to and I know it's true. That headline says it all and I've experienced it irl.

 

[sdifox]

Lol you haven't been stuck all day at home from covid before retiring?

 

[bbhaag]

Lol you haven't been stuck all day at home from covid before retiring?

It's different for retired people man. I've seen my parents and my in laws go through it. Retirement does something to a man that is hard to put into words but trust me it's a thing and it can take some time to work through it.

 

[cytg111]

It's different for retired people man. I've seen my parents and my in laws go through it. Retirement does something to a man that is hard to put into words but trust me it's a thing and it can take some time to work through it.

Dont retire. And when you do, retire to something else, be sure to have a full time "hobby" waiting for you.

 

[olds]

Lol you haven't been stuck all day at home from covid before retiring?

No, I was "essential". 70% of the employees were telecommuting though. Part of my decision for retiring when I did was that they had terrible COVID policies and the essential employees started passing the rona among themselves.

 

[ponyo]

My wife and I cook together but I probably do the dishes like 10% of the time. I do feel guilty sometimes so that's when I do it. But that's why men invented dishwasher.

 

[Muse]

My wife and I cook together but I probably do the dishes like 10% of the time. I do feel guilty sometimes so that's when I do it. But that's why men invented dishwasher.

Uh huh. Well, I have no dishwasher and I live alone. I think I could install a DW. Higher priority is SO, I'm looking. But division of labor isn't something I think about. I've been cooking and cleaning up after myself my whole adult life. I seem to be better at the cooking. Since covid and SIP, I've gotten somewhat better with not leaving dishes in the sink. I remember something a guy said, we were interviewing people for a new roommate. I don't think he moved in, actually, he was just a prospect. He said he didn't believe in leaving dishes in the drain rack. I'm kinda on the fence on that. I typically these days kind of semi dry them with towels (two great dish towels, not big, just great), and place them where they'll get air and self-dry the rest of the way. Later, when dry, they get stacked.

I definitely endorse the idea that couples that work on projects together have better sex. Division of labor in a relationship has it's place, obviously, but fun doing things together is the basis of a great friendship, and obviously you should be great friends with your lover.

 

[sdifox]

Uh huh. Well, I have no dishwasher and I live alone. I think I could install a DW. Higher priority is SO, I'm looking. But division of labor isn't something I think about. I've been cooking and cleaning up after myself my whole adult life. I seem to be better at the cooking. Since covid and SIP, I've gotten somewhat better with not leaving dishes in the sink. I remember something a guy said, we were interviewing people for a new roommate. I don't think he moved in, actually, he was just a prospect. He said he didn't believe in leaving dishes in the drain rack. I'm kinda on the fence on that. I typically these days kind of semi dry them with towels (two great dish towels, not big, just great), and place them where they'll get air and self-dry the rest of the way. Later, when dry, they get stacked.

You think dish washers are high maintenance? A wife is at least a million times more.

 

[Muse]

You think dish washers are high maintenance? A wife is at least a million times more.

I've never given that any thought. I'm just eh with the whole give me convenience or give me death ethos. Never been married, had quite a few relationships. I wouldn't call any of them high maintenance, but then we didn't live together except once... that lasted maybe a month.

 

[sdifox]

I've never given that any thought. I'm just eh with the whole give me convenience or give me death ethos. Never been married, had quite a few relationships. I wouldn't call any of them high maintenance, but then we didn't live together except once... that lasted maybe a month.

my wife doesn't understand how blinds work. She thinks because we can see other people they can see us....she's an auditor but I have to do substring based subtotals for her...

 

[ponyo]

I've never given that any thought. I'm just eh with the whole give me convenience or give me death ethos. Never been married, had quite a few relationships. I wouldn't call any of them high maintenance, but then we didn't live together except once... that lasted maybe a month.

I've been married 19 years and never been happier. I don't think we ever had a major fight the whole time we've been married. I busted my ass for the first 15 years or so she wouldn't have to work and have been cruising ever since. Now that I'm retired, we can spend our remaining years together traveling the world and exploring all the wonderful things the world has to offer.

 

[Muse]

my wife doesn't understand how blinds work. She thinks because we can see other people they can see us....she's an auditor but I have to do substring based subtotals for her...

I have a weird life style. I mean, I'm not a conformist. Or should I say I'm a non-conformist? Well, non-conformist might have the connotation of being someone who tries to be different. That doesn't describe me at all. I don't mind being like other people. The best things about being human are generally shared by all humanity... it's a matter of degree! But I do a lot of things that other people don't. Not really objectionable things, just things that work for me but other people either don't know about or have no idea how to pull off. Or maybe they wouldn't want to do those things because, well, too much trouble for them or they can't or other reasons. I'm more complicated than I was in my 20's.

 

[Muse]

my wife doesn't understand how blinds work. She thinks because we can see other people they can see us....she's an auditor but I have to do substring based subtotals for her...

Well, then, you're sorta in business together.

 

[sdifox]

Well, then, you're sorta in business together.

She was an auditor before we got married... Surely she must have had the chance to learn it in the almost 19 year since we met here...

 

[Muse]

She was an auditor before we got married... Surely she must have had the chance to learn it in the almost 19 year since we met here...

You can patiently tutor her.

 

[sdifox]

You can patiently tutor her.

No, of course I didn't try that