Retaliations: Getting back at society's PITA's

[Stuxnet]

Let's keep this to non-relationship stories...

Have you ever retaliated against a coworker? A neighbor? How and why?

My most notable retaliation was probably about 3 years ago. We had just had our first child and life was pretty hectic, as I had also been working later. We lived in a house in a suburb that mostly consisted of young families (like us) and retired people. We had a crank geezer living next to us, and this guy was a fanatic about his yard and the appearance of "the street" (but not 'shotgun to the gut' fanatic like what was in the news today).

Anyway, sometimes I would forget to bring the trashcan up from the curb. At most, it would sit out there for one extra day. Also, we kept our house - at least the outside - looking neat and tidy. Well, one day I come home to find my garbage can sitting out in the middle of the driveway blocking my way into the garage.

"Whatever", I thought... I got out of the car, put it away, got back in, pulled into the garage, and went on with things. I figured it was the crusty bastard, but oh well. No big deal.

A few weeks later, I forget again. Boom. Blocked driveway. A couple weeks later, it happens again, except this time, the guy is outside. I haul it in and make a casual joke:

Me: "Man... someone's really watching me and my garbage can like a hawk. <chuckle>"

Him: "Well, maybe if you took it inside no one would have to babysit you."

This really pissed me off.

Me: "Babysit? Are you joking? So it's you doing this?"

Him: "I didn't say that... I'm just saying you should keep things in order."

Me: "Maybe some of us have bigger things to worry about than our garbage cans, but I'll do my best."

Anyway, I really did make an effort, but like I said, life was hectic and with work and the new baby, I did forget once in awhile.

Well, about a month later it happened again.

So the next week I went out there the night before pick-up and dumped the asshole's trash all over his driveway.

The next morning I'm heading out to work to find him blowing smoke out of his ears and cleaning up.

Me: "Come on Martin...... some of us care about how this street looks."

Him: "YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU DID THIS!!!"

Me: "No, but please try to have it cleaned up before I get home."

I know it was overboard, but the sack of sh*t kept his hands off my garbage can and started minding his own business for a change . Also, with him being so pissed off, I never had to engage in smalltalk with him again, either.

Two birds with one stone!

CLIFFS
1. Forgot to bring in garbage can
2. Neighbor strategically placed it in my driveway
3. Dumped neighbor's trash on driveway
4. Never had to talk to neighbor again

 

[J Heartless Slick]

never mind....

 

[FoBoT]

good story

i am too passive/agressive to have a good story like that
if someone is a dick to me, i try to avoid them

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
good story

i am too passive/agressive to have a good story like that
if someone is a dick to me, i try to avoid them

I'm actually pretty passive/aggressive too... but if I'm pushed and, subsequently snap, I tend to make up for lost time .

 

[sygyzy]

That was hillarious. I loved it!

 

[alien42]

good story. rock salt on a nice lawn also works wonders :evil:

 

[Phoenix15]

I guess the worst thing was that I once told my EX best friends wife that he had been cheating on her. I let it slide for a while thinking it was none of my buisness. I just tried to talk him into confessing to his wife. Then he tried to hit on MY wife at a office party and that put me over the top. Haven't spoken to him since. She divorced him and is now married to a guy that really gives a dan about her feelings.

 

[Armitage]

Let's see - nope.
Well ... at least nothing that the statute of limitations has expired on :evil:

I did help a friend in H.S. who got completely shafted by a small business he worked for - soak a large sponge in a corn starch solution, compress it, then let it dry out. Flush down the culprits toilet. I saw a plumbing truck parked there for the better part of a day.

 

[Yreka]

I make it a point to buy coffee creamer for work, because I hate the powdered sht. Nothing fancy, maybe some half/half or coffemate plain. A large bottle would last me and the few other people in my department a month or so. This was kept in a small fridge in our department kitchenette, each area in the company has their own such "kitchenette" except manufacturing which has a large kitchen area in the lunchroom.

Long story short, some people from manufacturing would start using our kitchenette because it was closer to the floor than theirs. No biggie, but stuff started dissapearing out of our fridge as well, including my creamer.

Now, I wouldnt mind if other people used it as long as it would be replaced, but thats not what happened.

A large bottle of creamer which used to last us a month would be gone in 3 days. Once it was depleated, the fridge thieves would simply switch back to the powdered ******. Apparenlty the powdered crap was fine for them unless there was premium in the fridge.

Here is how I solved the problem

Step one:
Sign on the fridge, Name on the bottle

Results:
No change

Step two:
Sign on the fridge, written in Spanish and Tagolic, name tag on any items placed in the kitchen area. *Suggustion from one of the girls in HR we were bitching to over lunch*

Results:
No Change, now its becoming more frequent. More people are starting to use the kitchen, sodas, yogurts, etc are starting to go missing.

Step three:
Liquid Ex-lax, roughly half a bottle *which according to their 1-800 number would not be harmful, but you better, and I quote "Stay within running distance of a toilet for awhile"*. Put this in a 3/4 full bottle of coffeemate french vanella. Warned the other authorized users to stay awy. Marked the bottle DO NOT USE Property of blablabla

Results:
Day 2, bottle is 1/2 full, moved from the shelf to the door.
Day 3 bottle is gone.
Next *fresh* bottle, same result gone in three days.

Step four:
Same thing, 3/4 bottle coffemate 1/2 bottle exlax liquid

Results:
Bottle was completely gone the next day, but it seemed to do the trick. We haven't had problems with the refrigerator since.


I don't think of it as revenge, more like helping karma along. Maybe teaching people manners through creative means since their parents have obviously failed them.
I am not a religious man, but I am convinced there is a special place in hell for those who steal other peoples food from common refrigerators.

 

[Brainonska511]

Good stories. I'll sit in my lawn chair waiting for me people to come along.

 

[PingSpike]

More!

 

[fbrdphreak]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: FoBoT
good story

i am too passive/agressive to have a good story like that
if someone is a dick to me, i try to avoid them

I'm actually pretty passive/aggressive too... but if I'm pushed and, subsequently snap, I tend to make up for lost time .

I'm the same way, fvcking hilarious too

 

[CaptainGoodnight]

This thread reminds me of the book: Life's Little Annoyances.

 

[Ricochet]

:thumbsup: to jbourne77 and Yreka. Good stories and those culprits well deserve it.

 

[OdiN]

Wait...this guy was named Martin too?

All old guys named Martin are crazy?

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: alien42
good story. rock salt on a nice lawn also works wonders :evil:

Or just plain salt water.

 

[fbrdphreak]

Some people had a problem with me doing this when I first posted about it :roll: Who gives a fvck

Backstory:

Moved into condo subdivision and gf's Mom's animals got dumped on us 'cuz she decided to move to NZ. So we are stuck with 3 dogs & 4 cats in a 2-story 1200 sq ft condo. Anyway, we let the cats out a lot not thinking it would be a problem 'cuz they used to live in a very large neighborhood that was pretty spread out. Well, the stupid asian bitch across the street (No I'm not racist, don't go there) comes over and complains that she found our gray cat crapping in her garden. Made up some BS about being allergic or something. Also said he knocked the wreath that was hanging on the wall outside, which was like 5 feet up in the air; yeah um no. Anyway, my gf apologized and told the woman she would keep Ewok (cat) inside; which she actually did.

Next day Animal Control shows up about a complaint on the cat. Which means that bitch had to call animal control several days ago, and then came over to "talk" to us about it. That's a GREAT way to make neighbors. The animal control officer told us she had no clue why the woman called them over a cat, she knows cats need to go out. She told us to just let him out at night so the woman wouldn't see him, LOL. {Side note: turns out there is another gray cat in the neighborhood that looks a lot like Ewok, fvcking bitch}

A few days after this, we find a leaf in our carport that had a piece of what looked like cat sh~t stuck to it. As in the leaf was wrapped around the sh!t, so the woman could pick it up and put it in our car port. Of course I don't have evidence of it, but how the fvck else would it have gotten there?

Fast forward a couple months. Trash pickup is on Thursday. Our trash can is at the street still on Friday, as are a lot of other people's. "Someone" came and moved out trash & recycling cans INTO THE MIDDLE OF OUR FRONT YARD, away from the street. I had enough, I went and talked to the fvcking bitch (very nicely of course) and asked her if she had seen anyone move our trash cans. I explained the previous "harassment" we had gotten. I explained about the trash can. She said "Oh well yeah, I guess we kinda are supposed to have the trash cans put away after they are emptied." :mad; Don't tell me she didn't do that sh!t, giving me that bullsh~t reason why someone might move our trash cans :|

Fast forward to today. Trash came Thurs. I left the cans out, its now Sunday. I left 'em out on purpose, just to piss her off. I go outside and the cans are moved half way up our driveway now. I'm tired of this fvcking sh~t. So I go inside, get a piece of paper and a big ol' Sharpie to leave a nice message for the ****** :|

<I lost the pic of the note I drew and stuck on the trash can, but it was something along the lines of "LEAVE OUR STUFF ALONE YOU PSYCHO">

I'm real close to going and talking to her again, and pretty much blatantly accusing that fvcking bitch. However our HOA agreement says something about not confronting neighbors w/problems, we're supposed to go to the HOA committee :roll:

Fvcking psycho asian bitch who has nothing more to do than sit at home all day and play these petty bullsh~t games :|

EDIT to fix emoticons

I'm not all that upset about her anymore, I think I actually worked on one of my vices for once......in fact I think her patheticness is funny

 

[DAGTA]

Not a big deal. I like this guy I work with but one day we were passing a bunch of emails and I decided to have a little fun with one email:

He sent: "I swear I ought to write this down.
0 is false and 1 is true, correct?"

I replied with:
"1"

 

[Brainonska511]

Originally posted by: fbrdphreak
Some people had a problem with me doing this when I first posted about it :roll: Who gives a fvck

Backstory:

Moved into condo subdivision and gf's Mom's animals got dumped on us 'cuz she decided to move to NZ. So we are stuck with 3 dogs & 4 cats in a 2-story 1200 sq ft condo. Anyway, we let the cats out a lot not thinking it would be a problem 'cuz they used to live in a very large neighborhood that was pretty spread out. Well, the stupid asian bitch across the street (No I'm not racist, don't go there) comes over and complains that she found our gray cat crapping in her garden. Made up some BS about being allergic or something. Also said he knocked the wreath that was hanging on the wall outside, which was like 5 feet up in the air; yeah um no. Anyway, my gf apologized and told the woman she would keep Ewok (cat) inside; which she actually did.

Next day Animal Control shows up about a complaint on the cat. Which means that bitch had to call animal control several days ago, and then came over to "talk" to us about it. That's a GREAT way to make neighbors. The animal control officer told us she had no clue why the woman called them over a cat, she knows cats need to go out. She told us to just let him out at night so the woman wouldn't see him, LOL. {Side note: turns out there is another gray cat in the neighborhood that looks a lot like Ewok, fvcking bitch}

A few days after this, we find a leaf in our carport that had a piece of what looked like cat sh~t stuck to it. As in the leaf was wrapped around the sh!t, so the woman could pick it up and put it in our car port. Of course I don't have evidence of it, but how the fvck else would it have gotten there?

Fast forward a couple months. Trash pickup is on Thursday. Our trash can is at the street still on Friday, as are a lot of other people's. "Someone" came and moved out trash & recycling cans INTO THE MIDDLE OF OUR FRONT YARD, away from the street. I had enough, I went and talked to the fvcking bitch (very nicely of course) and asked her if she had seen anyone move our trash cans. I explained the previous "harassment" we had gotten. I explained about the trash can. She said "Oh well yeah, I guess we kinda are supposed to have the trash cans put away after they are emptied." :mad; Don't tell me she didn't do that sh!t, giving me that bullsh~t reason why someone might move our trash cans :|

Fast forward to today. Trash came Thurs. I left the cans out, its now Sunday. I left 'em out on purpose, just to piss her off. I go outside and the cans are moved half way up our driveway now. I'm tired of this fvcking sh~t. So I go inside, get a piece of paper and a big ol' Sharpie to leave a nice message for the ****** :|

<I lost the pic of the note I drew and stuck on the trash can, but it was something along the lines of "LEAVE OUR STUFF ALONE YOU PSYCHO">

I'm real close to going and talking to her again, and pretty much blatantly accusing that fvcking bitch. However our HOA agreement says something about not confronting neighbors w/problems, we're supposed to go to the HOA committee :roll:

Fvcking psycho asian bitch who has nothing more to do than sit at home all day and play these petty bullsh~t games :|

EDIT to fix emoticons

I'm not all that upset about her anymore, I think I actually worked on one of my vices for once......in fact I think her patheticness is funny

I remember that thread. Did she eventually stop?

 

[fbrdphreak]

Originally posted by: Brainonska511
I remember that thread. Did she eventually stop?

No further stupidity from her after the note, not sure if we've left the trash cans out after collection tho. Either way, no intrusions from psycho neighbors yet

 

[fbrdphreak]

Originally posted by: DAGTA
Not a big deal. I like this guy I work with but one day we were passing a bunch of emails and I decided to have a little fun with one email:

He sent: "I swear I ought to write this down.
0 is false and 1 is true, correct?"

I replied with:
"1"

Hehe

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: fbrdphreak
Some people had a problem with me doing this when I first posted about it :roll: Who gives a fvck

Backstory:

Moved into condo subdivision and gf's Mom's animals got dumped on us 'cuz she decided to move to NZ. So we are stuck with 3 dogs & 4 cats in a 2-story 1200 sq ft condo. Anyway, we let the cats out a lot not thinking it would be a problem 'cuz they used to live in a very large neighborhood that was pretty spread out. Well, the stupid asian bitch across the street (No I'm not racist, don't go there) comes over and complains that she found our gray cat crapping in her garden. Made up some BS about being allergic or something. Also said he knocked the wreath that was hanging on the wall outside, which was like 5 feet up in the air; yeah um no. Anyway, my gf apologized and told the woman she would keep Ewok (cat) inside; which she actually did.

Next day Animal Control shows up about a complaint on the cat. Which means that bitch had to call animal control several days ago, and then came over to "talk" to us about it. That's a GREAT way to make neighbors. The animal control officer told us she had no clue why the woman called them over a cat, she knows cats need to go out. She told us to just let him out at night so the woman wouldn't see him, LOL. {Side note: turns out there is another gray cat in the neighborhood that looks a lot like Ewok, fvcking bitch}

A few days after this, we find a leaf in our carport that had a piece of what looked like cat sh~t stuck to it. As in the leaf was wrapped around the sh!t, so the woman could pick it up and put it in our car port. Of course I don't have evidence of it, but how the fvck else would it have gotten there?

Fast forward a couple months. Trash pickup is on Thursday. Our trash can is at the street still on Friday, as are a lot of other people's. "Someone" came and moved out trash & recycling cans INTO THE MIDDLE OF OUR FRONT YARD, away from the street. I had enough, I went and talked to the fvcking bitch (very nicely of course) and asked her if she had seen anyone move our trash cans. I explained the previous "harassment" we had gotten. I explained about the trash can. She said "Oh well yeah, I guess we kinda are supposed to have the trash cans put away after they are emptied." :mad; Don't tell me she didn't do that sh!t, giving me that bullsh~t reason why someone might move our trash cans :|

Fast forward to today. Trash came Thurs. I left the cans out, its now Sunday. I left 'em out on purpose, just to piss her off. I go outside and the cans are moved half way up our driveway now. I'm tired of this fvcking sh~t. So I go inside, get a piece of paper and a big ol' Sharpie to leave a nice message for the ****** :|

<I lost the pic of the note I drew and stuck on the trash can, but it was something along the lines of "LEAVE OUR STUFF ALONE YOU PSYCHO">

I'm real close to going and talking to her again, and pretty much blatantly accusing that fvcking bitch. However our HOA agreement says something about not confronting neighbors w/problems, we're supposed to go to the HOA committee :roll:

Fvcking psycho asian bitch who has nothing more to do than sit at home all day and play these petty bullsh~t games :|

EDIT to fix emoticons

I'm not all that upset about her anymore, I think I actually worked on one of my vices for once......in fact I think her patheticness is funny

No confrontation needed. Most people back down when they realize they're not the only ones capable of playing games. Once they realize that people can just as easily harrass them without getting caught, they back off. For instance, I would have taken that wrapped turd and jammed it up under her door handles.

You wanna play games with feces? Let's roll BITCH!

 

[BlueFlamme]

Reminds me of the Dilbert strip where PHB comes in and says due to budget constraints we will no longer have free sodas in the fridge. Someone comments that there were never free soda's in the fridge. PHB says that there is, every day he takes a can of soda from the fridge and by the next day the soda has reappeared. Asok comments that he has brought a soda in for lunch for the past two years and everyday by lunchtime it is gone.

Just classic, fridge thieves ftl.

Wish I had a good story about desk supply thieves, but I never could catch any of 'em (having a night-crew that shares your desk space is the worst)

 

[Stuxnet]

Here's another one. I was actually in high school when this happened. I lived down the street from a couple 50 year old drunks who had parties every night of the week on their deck. Their backyard was in close proximity to mine and because the neighborhood was old, there were tons of foliage between the yards. Anyway, I would have a heck of a time getting to sleep in the summer because they'd be out partying at 2am every night.

One night it was so bad that I got in my car, went to the store, bought a dozen eggs, and set up shop on the roof right outside my window. I could lob eggs right into the center of their party without being in view. It was pitch black everywhere outside their yard, plus I had all the trees. A few times someone would go out on a search and destroy, and all I had to do was climb back in my window. My lights were off so it was impossible to see me.

This didn't stop the party, but at least I got to have fun too. For the most part they didn't care, but there were one or two guys that were getting REALLY pissed off.

 

[fbrdphreak]

Haha, good one :evil: