Relative being ass holes or us being stingy?

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AndroidVageta

Banned
Mar 22, 2008
2,421
0
0
If he wants the kids to see their grandfather, why doesn't he fly the kids out to him? Which ever way he does it, it's for his benefit, so he should pay it.

This. If the you bro makes plenty of money and wants to see his dad so that he can see HIS children then he should pay all expenses...thats like me asking my brother in Texas to pay for half of my new LCD TV...it in NO WAY benefits him so why the fuck should he have to chip it?

OP...I say to tell your bro that if he and his kids want to see dad that he needs to pay the airline ticket...I mean, personally, something like this isnt even up for discussion...he makes plenty of money to do so, its strictly for HIS benefit, it in no way affects any of you (as in yourself and your other brothers)...so no.

Plus, despite what people here say about "you shouldnt be worried about his finances" I say STFU...dude EASILY rakes in $300k SO $500 is NO sweat off his nose. I find it actually quite RUDE that he even considered let alone asked of you and other family members to pitch in on the plane ticket...like WTF!!!
 

Locut0s

Lifer
Nov 28, 2001
22,281
43
91
addendum: It's a rather moot point anyway. At this point in the issue the 2 brothers on this side wouldn't send a penny if it had anything to do with the brothers on the other side. It's become a family feud by now and there is little hope of ever mending fences. There are also deep political / social / world view differences at work here. The richer brothers are conservative and quite far right leaning and the other brothers are liberal and quite far left leaning and it's very evident in each family!

For those asking about the cost of the flight the flight is something like 850 bucks, he claims that's the cheap he could find at that time of the year. But like I said it has become an issue of principle and it could be 20 bucks at this point.
 

Locut0s

Lifer
Nov 28, 2001
22,281
43
91
This. If the you bro makes plenty of money and wants to see his dad so that he can see HIS children then he should pay all expenses...thats like me asking my brother in Texas to pay for half of my new LCD TV...it in NO WAY benefits him so why the fuck should he have to chip it?

OP...I say to tell your bro that if he and his kids want to see dad that he needs to pay the airline ticket...I mean, personally, something like this isnt even up for discussion...he makes plenty of money to do so, its strictly for HIS benefit, it in no way affects any of you (as in yourself and your other brothers)...so no.

Plus, despite what people here say about "you shouldnt be worried about his finances" I say STFU...dude EASILY rakes in $300k SO $500 is NO sweat off his nose. I find it actually quite RUDE that he even considered let alone asked of you and other family members to pitch in on the plane ticket...like WTF!!!

Also the kids we are talking about are all grown up and have their own incomes.
 

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,440
101
91
addendum: It's a rather moot point anyway. At this point in the issue the 2 brothers on this side wouldn't send a penny if it had anything to do with the brothers on the other side. It's become a family feud by now and there is little hope of ever mending fences. There are also deep political / social / world view differences at work here. The richer brothers are conservative and quite far right leaning and the other brothers are liberal and quite far left leaning and it's very evident in each family!

For those asking about the cost of the flight the flight is something like 850 bucks, he claims that's the cheap he could find at that time of the year. But like I said it has become an issue of principle and it could be 20 bucks at this point.

I bet all this craziness makes your grandfather really sad. Way better than $$$ on flights and crap would probably be if somebody swallowed their pride and made the first move to patch up this feud, regardless of who is right or wrong. I bet your grandfather would love having this over and done with. He must feel really bad to be the ostensible reason for all this division in the family.
 

Locut0s

Lifer
Nov 28, 2001
22,281
43
91
I bet all this craziness makes your grandfather really sad. Way better than $$$ on flights and crap would probably be if somebody swallowed their pride and made the first move to patch up this feud, regardless of who is right or wrong. I bet your grandfather would love having this over and done with. He must feel really bad to be the ostensible reason for all this division in the family.

As far as I know he doesn't know much about any of it. He probably knows that relations are frosty between the brothers, there have ALWAYS been some tensions, but the 4 brothers make a point of never getting my grandfather actually involved in any of these discussions.

At any rate I try to stay 1000 ft from the issue. These kinds of things have the potential for making my anxiety and depression issues much worse anyway so I don't want to get involved in any way.
 

DangerAardvark

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2004
7,581
0
0
All of my uncles make a fraction of what your "rich" one makes, and they would all cover the cost of the trip by themselves, no questions asked. Sorry, your family sucks.
 

AndroidVageta

Banned
Mar 22, 2008
2,421
0
0
Yeah, the fact that your brother and his children all make some kind of income makes me think that your bro does this shit just to start shit...

If HE and his GROWN ASS CHILDREN want to see their dad/grandfather than they need to pay...end of story...I dont see how any of this remotely relates to all the other family members...
 

Ms. DICKINSON

Golden Member
May 17, 2010
1,221
1
81
bit.ly
If your uncles and cousins want to see your grandpa, tell em to come over. Problem solved! Why should your family pay for it if your grandpa live across the street or in the same state as you?
 

Tiamat

Lifer
Nov 25, 2003
14,074
5
71
Uncle on the other side of the country appears to be a douche, no way you are stingy because you took action and brought the grandparents close to you so you could care for them. Caring for persons >>> money.

The uncle on the other side of the country is out of touch when it comes to placing value on family. If he really cared for the grandparents, money would not be an issue for him and he would immediately spend whatever was deemed necessary. Pawning off costs onto the brothers for his immediate (nuclear) family's benefit is selfish, irresponsible, and a poor example of family values.

Generally, the person who wants to present an ultimatum like that should be fully expected to carry a majority of the burden of such an ultimatum. That is the cost of exerting your choice in lieu of appropriate discussion with the parties involved.
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,656
687
126
He sounds like an asshole. You came up with an adequate solution and if he wants Gramps to come out to see his kids, HE should pay for it. Him asking everyone to pitch in to pay for a ticket is ridiculous. I would've said "You can either buy the one ticket for Gramps to come and visit you, or you can buy 5 tickets for you, your wife, and the three kids to come out here."
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,656
687
126
Does your grandfather know about this trip? Does he want to go? If yes, then the four uncles should split the airfare cost equally between them. It shouldnt matter who suggested the trip or who it is to see. What will matter is that grandpa wants to go and the trip is ultimately for him and his enjoyment.

No, the person suggesting the trip should pay for it. Why should the other three brothers pay for it when they won't receive any benefit from it? Why should the "rich" uncle get to dictate "gifts" without any feedback or input from others and then expect them to pay for it?
 

DayLaPaul

Platinum Member
Apr 6, 2001
2,072
0
76
I think you get in trouble when you make assumptions about people's wealth. The guy may be a lawyer, might pull in 300k, or whatever you *think* he does, but for all you know, he might be in debt.

All you see is the nice house and fast cars, you don't know all the details of his business, his investments, etc. Maybe he lost a shit ton of money when the economy crashed and is struggling to maintain his "lavish" lifestyle. Maybe these tough times have him him just as hard or even harder than they've hit you.

The point is, it just seems like you've assumed the worse of your uncle, that he's some rich cheap bastard who won't chip in, when in reality, he was willing to chip him his fair portion.
 

1sikbITCH

Diamond Member
Jan 3, 2001
4,194
574
126
snip*
The point is, it just seems like you've assumed the worse of your uncle, that he's some rich cheap bastard who won't chip in, when in reality, he was willing to chip him his fair portion.

It really doesn't matter at this point. If he wants to see his father, he needs to "step up to the plate" and hop his ass on a plane instead of trying to make everyone else pay for the father to fly all the way across the country to see him before he dies. That's selfish and absurd. I vote ASSHOLE.
 

JS80

Lifer
Oct 24, 2005
26,271
7
81
Sounds like your grandparents raised some real winners.

Regardless, how much they make is none of your fucking business. Splitting costs equally is the fair deal. I don't give a fuck if your parents are dirt poor. And if they are your parents should have offered to take care of the parents and the other uncles pay you $500 each per month.

As for the request for granps to fly on his dime, I would have given them the finger and told them to fly to where you are if you want to see him so badly.
 

SandEagle

Lifer
Aug 4, 2007
16,813
13
0
Sounds like your grandparents raised some real winners.

Regardless, how much they make is none of your fucking business. Splitting costs equally is the fair deal. I don't give a fuck if your parents are dirt poor. And if they are your parents should have offered to take care of the parents and the other uncles pay you $500 each per month.

As for the request for granps to fly on his dime, I would have given them the finger and told them to fly to where you are if you want to see him so badly.

oh hai there js80. how r u? i missed u man
 

JS80

Lifer
Oct 24, 2005
26,271
7
81
addendum: It's a rather moot point anyway. At this point in the issue the 2 brothers on this side wouldn't send a penny if it had anything to do with the brothers on the other side. It's become a family feud by now and there is little hope of ever mending fences. There are also deep political / social / world view differences at work here. The richer brothers are conservative and quite far right leaning and the other brothers are liberal and quite far left leaning and it's very evident in each family!

For those asking about the cost of the flight the flight is something like 850 bucks, he claims that's the cheap he could find at that time of the year. But like I said it has become an issue of principle and it could be 20 bucks at this point.

LOL the douchebag liberals want wealth redistribution how fucking shocking. I thought liberals were more compassionate and giving!
 

SandEagle

Lifer
Aug 4, 2007
16,813
13
0
Hai missed u2. How's the Jew hatin' going? Any new suicide bombings at a cafe that made you jump with joy?

give it up bro. your false accusations are pretty pathetic. supporting a two-state solution is not jewhatin.
 

mugs

Lifer
Apr 29, 2003
48,924
45
91
How many of you actually read the whole OP? He's not asking about the earlier situation with the retirement home - that is already resolved, it was background information. He's asking about the current situation with the plane tickets.

I think it's absurd for the uncle to ask everyone else to pay for a portion of a plane ticket so the grandfather can see that uncle's three kids. He wants to fly the grandfather out, he can pay for it.

Regarding everything else, I think you'd be surprised at how little disposable income your uncle may have. $300k (your assumption?) per year sounds like a lot, but as income goes up expenses usually go up as well. Many people with high incomes still don't save much money.

If I were in that situation and was the wealthier brother (and someday I probably will be), I wouldn't have a problem with paying a bigger portion.