Slice streaky bacon into small strips and cook it in oil until it's almost going crispy. When nearly done add thinly sliced onions, garlic, and mushrooms. Cook down until all the water comes off. Stir a lot. If it's sticking to the pan at this point you've had the heat up too high, but splash some white wine or stock or even just water to deglaze. Now add loads of double cream, and some frozen peas, and boil down for about 10 minutes. Do not burn the cream but do simmer it properly. Don't listen to people who tell you not to cook double cream they're fools.
Eat this with spaghetti and lots of parmesan cheese and black pepper.
If anyone wants it I'll post my bolognese recipe, but it's really long and takes about 24 hours to make. It is also, however, really fucking good.