This one does not meet some of your criteria, but I'm very happy with it.
I received a Lexmark C543dn for Christmas a year ago. It is connected to our home network so all can use. It does great full-colour 600 dpi photos on regular laser printer paper, even with a hint of glossiness to them although not quite like photos. To me, the image and colour quality it delivers are better than a high-volume Xerox office multifunction machine I used at work a few years ago. I have printed on laser paper 8½ x 11 and 8½ x 14, on Commercial 10 envelopes (manual feed only, no envelope feed tray), on heavy card stock to make 8½ x 11 sheets of (black-and-white only) price tags, on the same stock for making full-colour signs, and on pre-perf'ed 8½ x 11 sheets of heavy stock to print business cards composed of black or coloured artwork, text and full-colour photos. It has handles all of those papers very well, even though there is no way to arrange a simple straight-through path for heavy papers. It does 2-sided printing well. Other models in this Lexmark line add features like envelope trays, larger-capacity paper trays and multiple trays.
My business cards are a tough job because I designed them with image up to the edges (like a "full-bleed" printing layout) and two-sided. I have not tried to print them via the automatic 2-sided method. I print them, instead, one-sided and then re-feed the paper through the manual feed system to print the second side. This is all in an attempt to get really tight "registration" of the image lined up with the pre-perforated card edges, and it is only partially successful - most are OK, but some of the images are misaligned from the perfs by less than 1 mm. But that is the only problem I have with it, and it's on a very demanding (because of my design) job.
By the way, the surface texture of the card stock used for price tags and signs is not as smooth as standard laser paper, and the business card stock is lightly textured, but the images printed on them are perfect with no voids due to surface roughness.
The printer uses 4 toner cartridges (Cyan, Magenta, Yellow and Black), and so far I have found no cheap generic suppliers - only Lexmark product, either from them directly or from other resellers. I have bought from Lexmark on-line, and they are fast. I buy the High-Capacity returnable carts - the empty unit is mailed back (pre-paid in the price) in the box the new one came in. The three colour carts are each rated for 2000 images and cost about $90 each. The black is rated for 2500 images and costs less - about $75. You can sign up with Lexmark for a program of automatic shipment of replacement cartridges at slightly discounted prices if your volume warrants it. When I use, if my page is black ink only (including grey-scale only) I always set the printer options (via the on-screen Properties box) to black only and avoid using colour toner. Under those conditions I have found the cartridge lifetime to be a little less than spec'd. The printer arrived with initial cartridges containing only half of the toner of the High-capacity replacement units, and I've been finding them go empty around 850 images. Now, maybe my use is not quite typical because I make a lot of signs with plenty of ink coverage, but that's my experience over the year. On the other hand, I'm not making 1000 pages per month!
This is a printer only. I got it to replace an aging HP LaserJet 4 (black only 600 dpi) printer that was great, but starting to need a few parts replaced that are getting hard to find. I have a good Canon Pixma MP500 ink jet colour printer with a great 600 dpi scanner in it, so I did not need another. (Actually, I also have an older Umax scanner on another machine.)
Regarding support, I had one issue with the unit from the start. When I ran the built-in diagnostics, some of the colour test patterns showed light streaks in one colour. (I had not really noticed them in most printing jobs - they were not severe.) When I called their Tech Support for help, they asked me to run a few tests, started to arrange shipping a replacement imaging unit, and then suggested I try cleaning some dust off a narrow window inside the unit in case that was the trouble. That process completely solved the problem and it has never returned. The did not have to ship me a replacement part. I guess some toner got dusted around during handling before I got the printer. But their Tech Support was good and thorough, and solved my problem on the phone.