Recipe for the perfect marriage

tyler811

Diamond Member
Jan 27, 2002
5,385
0
71
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
She said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" . The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.


13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"
 
Jun 19, 2004
10,860
1
81
Originally posted by: shortylickens
You probably should have said "funny joke" in the Topic Summary.


and here I was thinking someone on ATOT would give serious marital advice........:roll:



hahahahah!
 

tyler811

Diamond Member
Jan 27, 2002
5,385
0
71
Originally posted by: shortylickens
You probably should have said "funny joke" in the Topic Summary.


But some people might not think its funny ;)


Fixed :beer:
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
80,287
17,080
136
Can I please get an ATOT regular who can explain WHY I made the above comment?

Someone here gets the joke, I know it.
 

meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,548
7
81
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Can I please get an ATOT regular who can explain WHY I made the above comment?

Someone here gets the joke, I know it.
oldsmoboat's?
 

everman

Lifer
Nov 5, 2002
11,288
1
0
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Can I please get an ATOT regular who can explain WHY I made the above comment?

Someone here gets the joke, I know it.

Everyone knows the law of the old boat, it is an unwritten rule.
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
80,287
17,080
136
Originally posted by: everman
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Can I please get an ATOT regular who can explain WHY I made the above comment?
Someone here gets the joke, I know it.
Everyone knows the law of the old boat, it is an unwritten rule.
Untrue.
EVERYONE does not know the law.
Thats why I had to spell it out.
 

tyler811

Diamond Member
Jan 27, 2002
5,385
0
71
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Originally posted by: everman
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Can I please get an ATOT regular who can explain WHY I made the above comment?
Someone here gets the joke, I know it.
Everyone knows the law of the old boat, it is an unwritten rule.
Untrue.
EVERYONE does not know the law.
Thats why I had to spell it out.

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME I dont know the law
 

YOyoYOhowsDAjello

Moderator<br>A/V & Home Theater<br>Elite member
Aug 6, 2001
31,204
45
91
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Originally posted by: everman
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Can I please get an ATOT regular who can explain WHY I made the above comment?
Someone here gets the joke, I know it.
Everyone knows the law of the old boat, it is an unwritten rule.
Untrue.
EVERYONE does not know the law.
Thats why I had to spell it out.

You're awesome.

:gift:
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
80,287
17,080
136
Of course I am YoYo!

Oh, and tyler811, the law is: If someone says in the title or summary "This is funny" then it usually sucks ass.

A person by the name of Oldsmoboat proved this many times.
I dont even know if he frequents the forums anymore.

Brutsukend never says his jokes are funny, he just tells them.
Sometimes he hits, sometimes he misses, but he never gets our hopes up under false pretences.
 

tyler811

Diamond Member
Jan 27, 2002
5,385
0
71
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Of course I am YoYo!

Oh, and tyler811, the law is: If someone says in the title or summary "This is funny" then it usually sucks ass.

A person by the name of Oldsmoboat proved this many times.
I dont even know if he frequents the forums anymore.

Brutsukend never says his jokes are funny, he just tells them.
Sometimes he hits, sometimes he misses, but he never gets our hopes up under false pretences.


LOL Thanks