Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book ?

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
Book Description
Dear Stupid Idiots,
A lot of you have been saying that I don?t know anything about REAL ninjas. But that?s a bunch of bull crap! You dummies don?t know anything. And maybe YOU should get a life. I bet a lot of you have never even seen a girl naked! You idiots believe that ninjas had some "code of honor." Yeah right! If by "code of honor," you mean "code to flip out and go nuts for absolutely no reason at all even if it means that people might think you are totally insane or sweet," then you are right. But if you mean a "code to be nice and speak nicely while sharing and not cutting off heads," then you?re the biggest idiot ever!!!!!! So if you have any brains, you will shut up and get a life. So go shut up, you stupid idiot.

No thank you,

Robert Hamburger
Romeo Oscar Foxtrot Lima! :D
 

TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
1
0
Anyone else going to preorder this thing. 160 pages of this?!? I bet it gets 1 1/2 stars out of 5.....heh
 

TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
1
0
Originally posted by: Staley8
Originally posted by: Staley8
It's out....LOL

LOL

LOL....one review "I can't describe how amazingly funny this book is! It's been a long time since I actually laughed out loud from reading a book. Several times while reading I had to put the book down because I got so pumped that I thought I was going to uppercut myself in the nuts!.............While reading those bad reviews all I could hear in my head were guitars wailing and I got so pumped that I almost threw myself down the stairs!!"
 

TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
1
0
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Buying a book based upon a funny page on the net? :eek:

For some of us $9.99 isn't too much to spend without shopping around for the best deal first;)
 

TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
1
0
edit: my 1st review on AMAZON...thought it didn't post so I wrote another:

This book had my PUMPED UP all the time. In fact I got so pumped reading this book that I had to go chill out and get a baby carrot out of the freezer. I can't believe all the great stuff I learned from this book. I learned how to fly, how to turn invisible, how to battle Vikings, Pirates, Moms, and sometimes baby sitters. If a viking ever tries to mess with me again, take it from me and Robert Hamburger...he would get a huge surprise, how about a six foot boner uppercut?!?
Oh man, and if a Pirate came onto land and tried to take away one of my many hot babes using his stupid lasers....I'd probably scratch his eyes out or shoot some bio-slime at his crotch. Then I'd haul out my guitar and WAIL...HARD while I porked some totally hot babes.
This book is only for those who are willing to get totally pumped, so if you are a stupid idiot you should not buy this book. It also helps if you've gone through puberty...it's not required but it is bragable. I would recommend this book to all my friends who are as cool as ninjas and who want to pop like a million boners....AND WOULDN'T EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT IT!
 

TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
1
0
edit: My 2nd review on AMAZON

Robert Hamburger is an awesome author and his book had me TOTALLY PUMPED. It taught me everything I need to know about ninjas including how to fly, how to uppercut someone if they piss you off (then friggin' book), how to use bio-slime, and of course how to turn invisible and sprinkle pubes on them to make them TOTALLY embarrassed. I also found out how to tell if someone is a true ninja or just another idiot in black pajamas...which is bragable on my part.
I know some of you are probably going to say that this book is stupid or that I'm stupid for liking this book, but you are a stupid idiot if you think that. And if you ever came to my face with a posse of pirates and/or vikings and said that I was an idiot and that I wasn't a ninja, take it from Robert Hamburger and me, you'd be in for a huge surprise....how about a six foot boner uppercut?!?!
After gaining my purple belt at the back of this book (maybe next time I'll get the black belt and become SUPER pumped) me and my buddies had a bunch of hot babes over to celebrate, there were guitars WAILING in the background the whole time we porked like thousands of babes....and it's all thanks for Robert and his cool book (and by cool I mean totally sweet). I now have the authority on the ninja topic and can recommend this book to anyone who is willing to get pumped and wants to become a true ninja.....AND WOULDN'T EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT IT!!!
 

preslove

Lifer
Sep 10, 2003
16,754
64
91
Dude, that guy deserves all the success in the world. That's one of the best sites ever.

Basic reasons why you should buy REAL Ultimate Power--The Official Ninja Book.

1. It will teach you about ninjas.

2. Ninjas are awesome.


Basic reasons why you shouldn't buy REAL Ultimate Power--the Official Ninja Book

1. You're a moron.

2. You're an idiot.


For those people who aren't idiots or morons, you can pre-order the REAL Ultimate Power--The Official Ninja Book so you don't have to keep worrying about it every day. And when it comes out you'll save a bunch of gas money because you can just be sitting at your house eating Doritos and watching movies with your buddies and then BOOM the mailman busts in with his pants around his ankles and he's like "Yo, it's here. The book. I've been running around the damn neighborhood trying to find you." Then you and your buddies could stay up all night hanging out and eating pizza and learning about ninjas while the mailman goes back to his stupid life.

If you click on the amazon link above, you can purchase the book pretty easily. Plus I think I get a couple extra cents, which is awesome. And after pressing the button, you can press proceed to checkout on the right side of the screen and everything will be OK. But if you buy the book at a store in person, tell the cashier that Robert says "Yo". I don't think you'll get a discount or anything, but at least the lady will know what's going on.



(By the way, there's another guy named Robert Hamburger. He wrote some book called Bistros in Paris. That Robert Hamburger isn't me. I can't stand bistros.)

 

Wahsapa

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2001
3,004
0
0
Originally posted by: GuybrushThreepwood
apparently <a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obi...1?v=glance&amp;s=books">this book</a> is written by the same guy. hehe

ahaha

When I saw that Robert Hamburger had written another book, let me tell you I got pumped up more than I ever had before. I friggen wasted half my block before I found it wasnt the same guy. I flipped out, tearing down wallpaper, kicking nuts, popping boners, wailing wicked chords on my double guitar that shattered entire cities. Luckily the police were also well educated in the real Mr Hamburger's teaching of ninja behavior and I was let off with an excuse only if I jammed with them. Me and those police men flipped out all night porking hot chicks who were attracted by our insane guitar wailings. I suppose the fake Robert Hamburger is cool enough to want to impersonate the real Robert Hamburger of www.realultimatepower.net so his idiot book about idiot countries that dont have ninjas which makes them stupid is worthy of five stars.
 

ggnl

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2004
5,095
1
0
Originally posted by: Wahsapa
Originally posted by: GuybrushThreepwood
apparently <a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obi...1?v=glance&amp;s=books">this book</a> is written by the same guy. hehe

ahaha

When I saw that Robert Hamburger had written another book, let me tell you I got pumped up more than I ever had before. I friggen wasted half my block before I found it wasnt the same guy. I flipped out, tearing down wallpaper, kicking nuts, popping boners, wailing wicked chords on my double guitar that shattered entire cities. Luckily the police were also well educated in the real Mr Hamburger's teaching of ninja behavior and I was let off with an excuse only if I jammed with them. Me and those police men flipped out all night porking hot chicks who were attracted by our insane guitar wailings. I suppose the fake Robert Hamburger is cool enough to want to impersonate the real Robert Hamburger of www.realultimatepower.net so his idiot book about idiot countries that dont have ninjas which makes them stupid is worthy of five stars.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: