• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

RE: Relationships: "Sacrifice and compromise are very, very different things."

D

DigDug

Guest
I love my GF very much, but I'm not sure whether my unhappiness is due to the fact that she is fundamentally incompatible with me, or because of my own refusal to compromise. Where is the line drawn between compromise and sacrifice?

Is my unhappiness my own fault here? And if so, I'll be this way regardless of the woman I choose to be with - hardly grounds, then, for ending it with my current GF.

But is my unhappiness because of an incompatibility between us, and justified in light of what I have to do?

 
Sacrifice inevitably leads to resentment. Compromise is when you're satisfied with the outcome, sacrifice is when you feel coerced or that you got taken advantage of or cheated.
 
I like the other definitions.

To me, sacrifice means giving something up without any reason other than someone wants it to be that way.

Compromise means discussion and finding a middle gorund. I would think both sides would have to sacrifice a little to compromise properly.

I also believe women have a bad habit of using softer language to get what they want, or make it seem like they are not the bad guys in the relationship.
 
If she's playing language games with you, try "collaboration". It's neither sacrifice nor compromise.

With sacrifice, you have a line you won't cross but you will get up to that line without considering where her line is. You'll give up x amount but no more than that.

With compromise, you have several sets of lines and you work with her set of lines as well. "I'll do x if you do y. I'll do b if you do c."

With collaboration, you both pick a line to work towards.
 
Originally posted by: angedinoir
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Compromise = I still get to golf a few times per week.

Sacrifice = The clubs are for sale on ebay.
Click to expand...

QFT
Click to expand...

wow he nailed it. in this case, compromising, the girl loses. sacrifice, you lose. always a winner and loser.
 
Compromise is doing something for her to make her happy, which should make you happy. Ideally, you should enjoy seeing her happy, and she should be recieving and thankful of your efforts.

Sacrifice is doing something that decreases your happiness more than it increases her happiness. She should therefore not want you to put yourself in this unhappy state.

You should want to make compromises, and she should not want you to make sacrifices.

The same applies for her.

\My deep thought for the day.
 
Originally posted by: Kalbi
Originally posted by: angedinoir
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Compromise = I still get to golf a few times per week.

Sacrifice = The clubs are for sale on ebay.
Click to expand...

QFT
Click to expand...

wow he nailed it. in this case, compromising, the girl loses. sacrifice, you lose. always a winner and loser.
Click to expand...

Not exactly. Compromise: you both win a little and both lose a little. Sacrifice: one wins and one loses.
 
No worries, I broke up with her. It just blows my mind to know that there are 25 year old women who still think its okay to operate with the emotional maturity and control of a little girl. Who do these people end up with?

I told her that her extreme demandingness is something that will only find compatibility with a person who has no self-esteem and will be a lapdog, willing to do whatever she says - yet that is precisely the type of person she'll lose respect for as she admits.

good luck to her.
 
Compromise = When you sacrifice something for your girlfriend.

Sacrifice = When your girlfriend has to compromise with you.
 
Originally posted by: DigDug
No worries, I broke up with her. It just blows my mind to know that there are 25 year old women who still think its okay to operate with the emotional maturity and control of a little girl. Who do these people end up with?

I told her that her extreme demandingness is something that will only find compatibility with a person who has no self-esteem and will be a lapdog, willing to do whatever she says - yet that is precisely the type of person she'll lose respect for as she admits.

good luck to her.
Click to expand...
Hahaha. Been there! You know who they end up with? Big, stupid guys who are too dumb to recognize that the chick isn't really into them as much as she's into how good she looks on their arm. They'll do anything for her because they know that she's probably too good for them (not knowing they are the only type of person who can put up with her for a prolonged period of time).

She'll flit from guy to guy like that until her looks fade from age, and then things get really ugly.
 
Originally posted by: DigDug
No worries, I broke up with her. It just blows my mind to know that there are 25 year old women who still think its okay to operate with the emotional maturity and control of a little girl. Who do these people end up with?

I told her that her extreme demandingness is something that will only find compatibility with a person who has no self-esteem and will be a lapdog, willing to do whatever she says - yet that is precisely the type of person she'll lose respect for as she admits.

good luck to her.
Click to expand...


You mean even 25 yr old women have these same problems? Damn. First I thought graduating from college will make you more mature. I was dead wrong. Then I thought older (25+ yrs old) would make you maturer. Guess that is wrong as well!

I guess I'll have to be looking at the early thirty year olds for a date then.
 
Originally posted by: shortylickens


I also believe women have a bad habit of using softer language to get what they want, or make it seem like they are not the bad guys in the relationship.
Click to expand...


Not all women do that, I know I don't. I'm a woman. I tell it like it is, honesty is the best policy, even all out blunt truth. It how things are worded that get people into trouble, or lack there of.
I've never had a problem speaking my mind, it's choosing the right time to talk too, eventually things comeout, and are worked on. If I want something, I go after it. Why pussyfoot around about it? No need.

I will fully admit when I am wrong. I have played those games, been in those stupid little headgame situations, it's not worth that. I hate it frankly, if someone can't be honest with me about things...........bye.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top