Re: girls (or guys) How high are your "standards" and more importantly do you bend them?

[Deleted member 4644]

If you bend them, why.. what are the reasons? Desperation? Some mitigating factor?

If you have "high" standards, do you think it has negatively affected you ability to find a partner?

If you have high standards, what do you care more about: looks? intelligence? personality? money?

 

[Stealth1024]

hmm never had a "girlfriend" or whatever the latest socially acceptable thing to call it would be...

EDIT: Standard I suppose would be articulate, academically strong, and a Christian

 

[konichiwa]

Originally posted by: Stealth1024
hmm never had a "girlfriend" or whatever the latest socially acceptable thing to call it would be...

 

[Amorphus]

yes.

bending them would be a mistake, when later on you realize that the "minor issue" you noticed is a constant annoyance. =/

 

[psydancerqt]

my standards:
21+, non-smoker, not from on line, able to drive with his own car, job or money of some sort, good looking, able to carry conversation with me...

extras:
cell phone

i've bent my standards for on line and job. sometimes you gotta give the on line people a chance... but every time it doesnt work out! my current bf didnt have a job when i met him, but he does now.

i dont think my standards are high... i've never had any trouble finding dates. i care most about personality, intelligence, and looks..

it makes a huge difference if i'm looking for someone long term or someone to date

 

[theNEOone]

well i've been dating my g/f for a while, so i don't "bend" my rules, although i do find alot more attractive girls when i'm drunk. hmmmm..... but my g/f is pretty hot and if i ever broke up w/ her i probably wouldn't find a girl for a while because my standards are currently pretty high.


=|

 

[matt426malm]

I think that I go the unrealisticly high and shallow standards most of the time. But if I'm desperate and I go out with someone I don't really like I usually end up regreting it.

 

[nan0bug]

Everyone has standards, but I would say I have very open ended standards because I'm not looking for anything serious anymore. I try to find the good in everyone, and if I find someone attractive for whatever reason, I'm willing to go out on a couple dates and hang out and see what happens. I would rather take my chances with a lot of different women and possibly find someone special than wait for 'the one' and be alone until I find that perfect girl.

I do have some basic standards that a woman has to meet. She has to be a positive person, I don't like surrounding myself with people who bitch and moan about stuff. She has to be physically attractive, but I'm attracted to all kinds of different traits so that's something that's pretty hard to pin down. She can't be high maintenance and she has to be educated and have an opinion (when I ask what kind of music do you like, I don't want to hear "oh, pretty much everything").

I don't think I'm really picky and I do bend my standards a little bit. If I meet a really gorgeous girl who's low maintenance and doesn't complain, but she's dumb as a brick, I can deal with that. I'm not going to propose to her, but I'm not going to avoid her phone calls either.

 

[Kadarin]

I have some standards that I consider absolute: I must be attracted to the person, the person must be reasonably intelligent and somewhat outgoing, the person needs to not smell bad and otherwise needs to pay attention to personal hygiene. Must also be ambitious enough to have some goals and direction in life.

I (greatly) prefer a non-smoker, but am flexible for the right person provided they can do a good job of isolating me from the smoke. As long as I don't see, smell, or taste it, it won't bother me.

Edit: How could I forget these? Person must be emotionally mature, and, for a serious relationship, not on the rebound from (or have any hangups with) a previous relationship.

 

[Looney]

Originally posted by: LordSegan
If you bend them, why.. what are the reasons? Desperation? Some mitigating factor?

If you have "high" standards, do you think it has negatively affected you ability to find a partner?

If you have high standards, what do you care more about: looks? intelligence? personality? money?

Depends how horny and sober i am at the time.

But lets not kid ourselves, looks are important. Personality wise, as long as they don't have a meanstreak. I like girls that don't take things too seriously. Money isn't a problem, as long as they don't spend it excessively. Intelligence is a BIG turn on for me.

 

[Crappopotamus]

im retarted. im not specially good looking (not at all...). but ive been hooked up with mostly very good looking girls. cant splain it. but whatever. kind of skews my sense of perspective. :|

personality wise, im fine with a girl who i can feel i can have a decent conversation with. can tolerate/laugh at my sense of humor.

these personality rules bend according to how good looking the girl is though. heh. and the good looking part bends with how much fun the girl is. works both ways.

 

[radioouman]

Originally posted by: Amorphus
yes.

bending them would be a mistake, when later on you realize that the "minor issue" you noticed is a constant annoyance. =/

True.... from personal experience, don't get married to someone who has a constant annoyance....

 

[matt426malm]

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Originally posted by: LordSegan
If you bend them, why.. what are the reasons? Desperation? Some mitigating factor?

If you have "high" standards, do you think it has negatively affected you ability to find a partner?

If you have high standards, what do you care more about: looks? intelligence? personality? money?

Depends how horny and sober i am at the time.

But lets not kid ourselves, looks are important. Personality wise, as long as they don't have a meanstreak. I like girls that don't take things too seriously. Money isn't a problem, as long as they don't spend it excessively. Intelligence is a BIG turn on for me.

for me looks are important for short relationships, flings. But my long relationships are with smart and personable girls.

 

[EvilYoda]

I'm pretty sure that my standards are way too high, but that's how they are, and I'm not about to lower them because I'd always be aware that I'm settling...other than that, I'm always quite happy with how I am, even if I'm single...which explains why I haven't had a g/f for a little over a year now, after being with someone for 4 years (2.5+1.5).

aaaaaaaaalthough, that's in terms of a "girlfriend"...if I meet a girl that bends a few of my standards and it's just a hook up...then maybe

 

[Looney]

Originally posted by: matt426malm

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Originally posted by: LordSegan
If you bend them, why.. what are the reasons? Desperation? Some mitigating factor?

If you have "high" standards, do you think it has negatively affected you ability to find a partner?

If you have high standards, what do you care more about: looks? intelligence? personality? money?

Depends how horny and sober i am at the time.

But lets not kid ourselves, looks are important. Personality wise, as long as they don't have a meanstreak. I like girls that don't take things too seriously. Money isn't a problem, as long as they don't spend it excessively. Intelligence is a BIG turn on for me.

for me looks are important for short relationships, flings. But my long relationships are with smart and personable girls.

But how do those long term relationships start out as? Short term. You're attracted to somebody by their appearance.

 

[QueHuong]

This girl liked me at first, then changed her feelings for me almost overnight. Her reasons:

- I don't have a job
- Too young (I'm 9 days older than her)
- I was more like a temporary crush, while she was still in love with this guy, four years and running (wow, get over it!) and he doesn't like her back
- Sorta said something that hurt her
- and apparently, I walk a little weird

So yeah, I know all about having somewhat high standards. Ironic thing is, I knew she liked me from the first day and I didn't like her then; it was only when I started noticing she wasn't as into me, that's when I started falling madly for her; guess it's the want-what-you-can't-have thing. Needless to say, I ended up :brokenheart:. With her though, I never really wanted anything more than some booty; I was focusing more into her looks and the illusion of an easy lay rather than her as a person.

Now however, I'm falling for a friend of mine; had a little crush on her before because she was cute. As I got to know her, I started really liking her because she has such a good heart - not one meanness in her. We can hold conversations, she's very smart, carries herself very well (mature, confident, etc. unlike the girl above) and recently, something I've been valuing : she's a traditional Vietnamese girl - as I'm more of an Americanized Vietnamese, having a traditional Viet girl would help me hold onto my heritage, and being traditional is something I find admirable in a girl. So those are my standards. I think this is the first girl who I'm head over heels for because of her personality - definitely the type of person I would want to marry. The crap awful thing is, she has a boyfriend But that isn't going to stop me

 

[matt426malm]

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Originally posted by: matt426malm

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Originally posted by: LordSegan
If you bend them, why.. what are the reasons? Desperation? Some mitigating factor?

If you have "high" standards, do you think it has negatively affected you ability to find a partner?

If you have high standards, what do you care more about: looks? intelligence? personality? money?

Depends how horny and sober i am at the time.

But lets not kid ourselves, looks are important. Personality wise, as long as they don't have a meanstreak. I like girls that don't take things too seriously. Money isn't a problem, as long as they don't spend it excessively. Intelligence is a BIG turn on for me.

for me looks are important for short relationships, flings. But my long relationships are with smart and personable girls.

But how do those long term relationships start out as? Short term. You're attracted to somebody by their appearance.

oh definetly but I usually get to know them somewhat before I ask them out
But the relationships with people you get along with last. The hot but dumb chick doesn't last but is fun for a while.

 

[Looney]

and apparently, I walk a little weird

LOL boy you're an honest fellow.

 

You changed to include guys? I guess I don't feel special anymore!

To answer your questions:

"If you bend them, why.. what are the reasons? Desperation? Some mitigating factor?"

Once upon a time, I had no rules really. I usually matched myself up with decent persons and of course they afforded me a comfortable life in my own way. They were my natural choices.

However, as time went on, I realised the necessity of rules, especially if they weren't my natural choices. Do I bend the rules? Well, I've done so on occasion, but each time it goes back to prove the reason for the rules in the first place. It isn't desperation that makes me bend rules. It's just some mitigating factors . . . and then the usual emotion that deceives women and leads them to believe that this one is an exception.

"If you have 'high' standards, do you think it has negatively affected you ability to find a partner?"

Does it hinder my ability to find more people? Yes! Does it affect my ability to find a partner as I would like? No. I believe in quality over quantity. I could easily find millions of guys, but I know too many won't make it through the queue if I were to find the good. Additionally, I'm often not interested. If I were interested, it would be obvious.

"If you have high standards, what do you care more about: looks? intelligence? personality? money?"

I care more about . . . uhmm . . . I dislike this either/or questions! LOL! I have a choice to get all, don't I? I think I would say all are equally important. However, if I must choose them in order of preferences, I would say personality, looks, money, and then intelligence. If I couldn't read personalities, I would pick looks first. Looks usually attract me first . . . and it's worked generally for me. Nonetheless, if I were to operate by reasoning, I would pick personality first. I chose personality first because it tells me who's the genuine person, the courageous person, the courteous person and the liar.

 

[Geekbabe]

God knows I've got my faults,ADD and a woeful lack of self confidence but I am a good and loyal woman,I work hard,I've got a good sense of humor and I am respectful of and attentive to the needs of the people in my life. If I love you,I'll move heaven and earth to help you if it is needed.

As far as traits in a partner go,you can babble on and on about your looks and income requirements in the end it comes down to wanting somebody who will respect,love and appreciate all the things you bring to their life.If you don't get that then it won't matter how good they look,how educated they are or how much money they have you'll still be miserable.

I got lucky this time around,I got someone who's loyal to me,patient with my figetty ways,smart and funny.No matter how lousy my day is there's always a big bear hug and outragously funny conversation for me at home.Of course,while looks aren't everything as an added bonus he's massively well built and very handsome

 

[QueHuong]

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

and apparently, I walk a little weird

LOL boy you're an honest fellow.

Yup, that's what she said; to her, walk is very sexy. Asked her why she's been blowing me off, and everything came gushing out. Girls...

 

"my standards:
21+, non-smoker, not from on line, able to drive with his own car, job or money of some sort, good looking, able to carry conversation with me..."

Damn! Sis, you need to speak more often! Speak out already! You're making it seem like I'm the only girl that thinks online meeting is a bad idea . . . like a horrible dream. Hehe! Really though, it's a pleasure to learn that another lady shares my view.

"i've bent my standards for on line and job. sometimes you gotta give the on line people a chance... but every time it doesnt work out! my current bf didnt have a job when i met him, but he does now."

Yep, I agree. As time goes on and the whole online revolution settles with people taking it more seriously, it might be a possible and realistic alternative to finding someone.

"i dont think my standards are high... i've never had any trouble finding dates. i care most about personality, intelligence, and looks.."

I don't think they're high either. I think every woman should strive to get what she deserves and works hard for.

 

[Deleted member 4644]

I think a lot of people don't believe in the entire online dating thing. And from my very limited quasi experiences with it, I tend to agree.

 

[IBuyUFO]

girls always have higher standards that they're impossible to meet. Girls are evil. I hope they all die.

 

[TommyVercetti]

very very very very very very very very very low standards