Rate my Resume

[necine]

I'm applying for a new job, and I've never had to write a resume before. How is it?

Old Resume

New Resume

Newest Resume

 

[Koenigsegg]

Definitely shorten it to one page. Unless you've been working for more than 10 years, no one's resume should ever be more than a page long.

So either take out some stuff, get to the point quicker, or reformat it. Look on the web for different styles.

Also put your name, address, phone # on the top line..look at other resumes for examples.

 

[necine]

Originally posted by: Koenigsegg
Definitely shorten it to one page. Unless you've been working for more than 10 years, no one's resume should ever be more than a page long.

So either take out some stuff, get to the point quicker, or reformat it. Look on the web for different styles.

Also put your name, address, phone # on the top line..look at other resumes for examples.

Good suggestions... Are you sure about the one page thing? I thought it was good to be thorough. This is a small company, I'm sure they wont have that many applicants.

I had my address phone and assorted goodies up top, but I took them out to post on the intraweb.

Thanks for taking the time to help me out.

 

[mdchesne]

If i were an employer looking through resumes, i'd toss it PDQ.

the layout is horribly blan
I stopped at the layout, fix it or it'll be ignored by an employer too. 0/10 so far

random things i noticed after ignoring layout:
-References? at least have an "Available upon request" statement
-statement of purpose: far too vague
-you don't need to include "I was a philosopy major for 1.5 semesters." or the "I had to leave..." stuff. noone cares if you "were going for a philo major", only if you have it or not
-decapitalize "Proficient", it's grammatically incorrect and will be thrown out because of that
-address and contact info at top of page needed

 

[Koenigsegg]

Yeah, employers will toss it if it's more than 1 page long. They just want to be able to skim it and get over it as quickly as possible.

 

[Toonces]

two pages + reference page

at least that's what my university's career center advised.

right now you have a basic idea but lose the boxes and concentrate on more accreditations/education/extracurriculars

here's mine hosted at imageshack:
1
2

 

[pkypkypky]

Originally posted by: UNESC0
two pages + reference page

at least that's what my university's career center advised.

right now you have a basic idea but lose the boxes and concentrate on more accreditations/education/extracurriculars

here's mine hosted at imageshack:
1
2

hmm...yours doesn't even load. What does that say about your chances?

 

[mdchesne]

loads for me

 

[Koenigsegg]

http://resume.monster.com/articles/length/

 

[mdchesne]

mine
short, simple, sweet

YES I"M YOUNG IN THE JOB MARKET! deal with it :beer:

 

[rmrf]

Originally posted by: mdchesne
mine
short, simple, sweet

YES I"M YOUNG IN THE JOB MARKET! deal with it :beer:

omg, you put dish machine operator on there? you're supposed to only put relevant work experience when applying for a job.

 

[haveblue]

Mine

Needs a few tiny updates, but that's about it.. edited for privacy and stuff..
Oh, and if you bother to read it, I only have that link to my schools site there for when this site replaces it, because the current one sucks.

Edit: Oh, and I've never had a job, so hence the lack of experience.. lol

 

[Nocturnal]

For your second job, web designer, you could add a little more as to what you did. I'm sure you can come up with something besides those two main points.

 

[jinduy]

Originally posted by: rmrf

Originally posted by: mdchesne
mine
short, simple, sweet

YES I"M YOUNG IN THE JOB MARKET! deal with it :beer:

omg, you put dish machine operator on there? you're supposed to only put relevant work experience when applying for a job.

lmao i didnt catch that.. actually if i were an employer it would catch my eye and tell me you worked hard at least...

 

[necine]

Okay I took all of your suggestions and made a new one... Can you tell me if there's anything wrong with it? I really appreciate this help btw.

 

[LS20]

the 2nd copy is too sparse, and the layout is not appealing to look at..god knows employers scan resumes, they dont attempt to read everyone

 

[Koenigsegg]

Be more consistent with your alignments.

 

[necine]

Any good?

 

[Reel]

Originally posted by: jinduy

Originally posted by: rmrf

Originally posted by: mdchesne
mine
short, simple, sweet

YES I"M YOUNG IN THE JOB MARKET! deal with it :beer:

omg, you put dish machine operator on there? you're supposed to only put relevant work experience when applying for a job.

lmao i didnt catch that.. actually if i were an employer it would catch my eye and tell me you worked hard at least...

Spell relevant this way.

 

[hjo3]

Your dates are all unaligned... learn to use the Tab key.

 

[Albis]

you don't have a concentration during high school

show GPA for your college experience

under work experience, explain briefly your roles and duties

 

[dullard]

You probably went from a bit too much information to far too little information. It is just so sparse now. I'm left with a bunch of questions and no answers.

#1 question is: What the heck do you want to do? My best guess is that this is the job you want: The mathematics and philosophy of customer service traing video production and the associated software. Was I right?

Now to be serious. I assume when you finally get a BS in math that you want a math related job. If that is true, why is 1/3rd of your resume related to computer skills and not math? Heck you could say that 1/2 of the resume is just IT. If you want an IT job, then make that more clear.

#2 question is: What can you provide my company? I know nothing of your true on the job skills or education. I liked much of the detail that was in the first resume and it just seems lacking.

#3 question is layout. For someone with so many computer skills, why isn't anything at all in line? Atlantic doesn't align with Rutgers. None of the dates align. Etc. You don't need a rigid boring format, but this just looks sloppy.

And References available upon request is a given. Most people highly suggest that you DON'T say that. It is just a cliche.

 

[necine]

Originally posted by: dullard
You probably went from a bit too much information to far too little information. It is just so sparse now. I'm left with a bunch of questions and no answers.

#1 question is: What the heck do you want to do? My best guess is that this is the job you want: The mathematics and philosophy of customer service traing video production and the associated software. Was I right?

Now to be serious. I assume when you finally get a BS in math that you want a math related job. If that is true, why is 1/3rd of your resume related to computer skills and not math? Heck you could say that 1/2 of the resume is just IT. If you want an IT job, then make that more clear.

#2 question is: What can you provide my company? I know nothing of your true on the job skills or education. I liked much of the detail that was in the first resume and it just seems lacking.

#3 question is layout. For someone with so many computer skills, why isn't anything at all in line? Atlantic doesn't align with Rutgers. None of the dates align. Etc. You don't need a rigid boring format, but this just looks sloppy.

And References available upon request is a given. Most people highly suggest that you DON'T say that. It is just a cliche.

1) Yeah basically, the job I'm applying for is for a security firm. They set up security cameras, and interface them to already-existing networks. Or, they set up the cameras and the entire network. The Job

2) Yeah, I liked the detail in the first one too. Everyone said that an employer would just throw it out though. I dunno... should I change the layout again and include more information?

3) Lol, I made it quick really late last night. I am fixing the alignments now.

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: necine
1) Yeah basically, the job I'm applying for is for a security firm. They set up security cameras, and interface them to already-existing networks. Or, they set up the cameras and the entire network. The Job

Ok, now you need to apply selective bits from your first resume and put it in the second. For example, "I had to leave for personal and monetary reasons" is not needed and makes you sound bad (can't handle personal life or financial responsibility). But since you want to set up security cameras, then this part is good, "Helped in setting up the studio and soundstage (including security cameras)."

Example 2: "I expect to graduate in May, 2006." That is redundant. You already put May 2006 on the resume, the employeer isn't stupid and can figure the rest out. If not, you'll be asked in the interview.

Example 3: "Go to customers businesses/homes to repair PCs, Networks, and/or DSL connectivity." Since you want a job of interfacing with networks, then this line makes you appear like a good canidate.

Do you see what I mean? Include the detail that is relavant to the job you are applying to. Leave the useless information or the information that makes you appear bad out of the resume.

 

[Pakman]

Originally posted by: mdchesne
If i were an employer looking through resumes, i'd toss it PDQ.

the layout is horribly blan
I stopped at the layout, fix it or it'll be ignored by an employer too. 0/10 so far

random things i noticed after ignoring layout:
-References? at least have an "Available upon request" statement
-statement of purpose: far too vague
-you don't need to include "I was a philosopy major for 1.5 semesters." or the "I had to leave..." stuff. noone cares if you "were going for a philo major", only if you have it or not
-decapitalize "Proficient", it's grammatically incorrect and will be thrown out because of that
-address and contact info at top of page needed

What? I agree his resume is kinda bland and the layout kinda sucks but you should NEVER put the statement "Reference available upon request" in your Resume. That's a given and just takes up space that you could use to put other more important information. I also don't agree that resumes should only be 1 page. You should also explain what you have contributed to your last company. Don't just put you performed tech support. Say something more detailed like, you provided top notch tech support that earned you recogonition and you closed 95% of all trouble calls without escalating the issue which boosted the overall productivity of the helpdesk. Of course don't make it a run on sentence like mine, but i'm kinda in a rush to type this right now.