Some people just have great restraint and will power. It takes a certain special someone that lives up to their priciples and stands fast in the face of an onslought. A real person of peace will willingly sacrifice himself rather than give into primal urge for violence. Therefore I salute the Mr. Graphics Designer. You deserve recognicion for your steadfast commitment to avoiding workplace violence regardless of the impossible odds.
I have lived a few moments in his cube and realize the crap he has to put up with. It seems of favorite moron seems to think he has the right idea on how to advance, its his follow through that sucks. He recently has begun sitting in is cube emulating various people hoping their success will rub off on himIf imitation is the sincerest form of flattery than a lot of people should feed very flattered.
Who has Jellybelly been posing as?
The Hard Nosed VP: Drives a hard bargain and takes crap from no one. He is firm and assertive. His self confidence shows commitment and not arrogance. So now Poseur has started walking around like his sh!t don't stink. Its really annoying when a group needs to get a mailing out and this guy is haggling over when he have "time to do it" What the matter? 6 hours of FreeCell a day aint enough? Assertive doesn't mean being a a$$hole to people. God, he is becoming one condescending SOB to his peers.
The Dedicated Salesperson: This lady is really driven to succeed. Her workplace is piled high with orders, samples, and misc tools of the trade. A consistant leader in sales, her only comptition herself and what she sold last quarter. She is usually working logn after the cleaning crew has left. Then we have loser. He thinks clutter and sprawl mean success. Hey, I'm too busy to clean my work space. DAmmit at least throw out your old lunches. There is so much junk you can barely see carpet. This week of course at exactly 5:01PM you hear him yelling about working "late" and how "tireless" people like himself work long past when the others have left. By 5:05PM is can be seen pulling out of the parking lot.
The Briillient Engineer: This guy knows his silicon. He can do amazing things with chips and is able to troubleshoot the most obscure problems with his engineering prowess. He burns the midnight oil coaxing a few Mhz out of each microcontroller. On the other hand stuffing envelopes shouldn't require such strict precision. He will spend an hour just to figure out how much water is require to seal an envelope. Who cares as long as it stays shut until someone gets it? He goe around explaining the "intricacies" of using a a ".3ml stroke held so the sponge it at 45 degrees in relation to the desk. 3lbs of pressure is the applied at exactly 7 inches with a smooth curve the apex of the lip." Guess what genius? You just missed the last mail truck because you your idiotic yammering.
The Resourceful Application Developer: Like Mozart was to classical, this man is to code. Coding in Assembly, C++, Perl, Java, you name it. he bring life to those innanimate circuitboards. Staring at screen for hours on end, people feel sympathy was you hear him yell, "DAMMIT" after errors appear during a compile. We all know he is in for hours of debugging in thousands of lines of code. Then we have Wannabe who have taken on to yelling out loud at each little thing. "PIECE OF SH!T STAMPS WON'T STICK", "DAMN ENVELOPE IS OVERWEIGHT," or "RETURN TO SENDER? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT?" Guess what buddy? Slamming your fists in frustration when you discover bad code in a ABS Brake controller for minivans carrying kids is unstandable. Who gives a flying phuck if you that damn stack is too thick for a trifold?
The Dashingingly Handsome Young Network Admin/IT Dood: Always with a sense of humor, IT Dood calms those he works around. No disaster if final and any problem can be resolved. Each fear is called with a bit of humor to ease the minds of the user. Well there is a fine line between funny and corny and this guy is a"maize"ingly corny. His conversation makes the water cooler want to jump out the window. Often his stupid comments border on sexual harrassment or racially offensive. Here's a bit of advice, making "beloved patriot" jokes around the Indian electical engineer will only lead to him on day wiring you chair to the 3 phase power.
I got to hear all of his idiotic rants and raves when I had to pull a CD-ROM and installed a CD-RW and DVD-ROM for the graphic designer. Of course he bitched that those "Conspiritors at Microsoft" and how we shoudl switch to Linux. Why does every "know it all" have a hardon to use Linux even though they have barely mastered Windows? I mean many tech saavy people use Linux to learn and diversify but this guy can hardly turn on a Speak N Spell. I tried to explain to him that Linux is Command Line like DOS (I dont; even want to use "UNIX" around him) and the GUI is an addon. Then he tells me how he used to be the DOS guru. This from the moron that tried to use commands like "Find Ghost File" "Find Ghost File On Server" "Use Ghost On Laptop" WTF!?!?
Then he asked when he will be getting a DVD upgrade. Uhhh.... like NEVER. I asked what he would need a DVD for. He gave some bullcrap about being more efficient when given cutting edge technology. WTF!?!?!? He has maybe used his CD-ROM twice since he's been here. HTF will a DVD make him more efficient? The GD needs it because some of his work now comes in on DVD. CD-Rs just can't hold those 100+MB TIFF files. Then he asks me what he should do if someone gave him a DVD with lots of big TIFFs? Who would be sending him a DVD with TIFFs in the first place?
Got what an idiot. By the time I was done I was ready to put a drive rail through his Adam's Apple. Through out the installation he would try to give advice on the "best" way to install hardware. All tis coming from a guy that doesn't know head or tails about anything. Hats off to the graphic designer who has to sit next to him 8 hours a day. I was ready to drive a mechanical pencil through my ears after 45 minutes.
Thanks for your time.
Windogg
I have lived a few moments in his cube and realize the crap he has to put up with. It seems of favorite moron seems to think he has the right idea on how to advance, its his follow through that sucks. He recently has begun sitting in is cube emulating various people hoping their success will rub off on himIf imitation is the sincerest form of flattery than a lot of people should feed very flattered.
Who has Jellybelly been posing as?
The Hard Nosed VP: Drives a hard bargain and takes crap from no one. He is firm and assertive. His self confidence shows commitment and not arrogance. So now Poseur has started walking around like his sh!t don't stink. Its really annoying when a group needs to get a mailing out and this guy is haggling over when he have "time to do it" What the matter? 6 hours of FreeCell a day aint enough? Assertive doesn't mean being a a$$hole to people. God, he is becoming one condescending SOB to his peers.
The Dedicated Salesperson: This lady is really driven to succeed. Her workplace is piled high with orders, samples, and misc tools of the trade. A consistant leader in sales, her only comptition herself and what she sold last quarter. She is usually working logn after the cleaning crew has left. Then we have loser. He thinks clutter and sprawl mean success. Hey, I'm too busy to clean my work space. DAmmit at least throw out your old lunches. There is so much junk you can barely see carpet. This week of course at exactly 5:01PM you hear him yelling about working "late" and how "tireless" people like himself work long past when the others have left. By 5:05PM is can be seen pulling out of the parking lot.
The Briillient Engineer: This guy knows his silicon. He can do amazing things with chips and is able to troubleshoot the most obscure problems with his engineering prowess. He burns the midnight oil coaxing a few Mhz out of each microcontroller. On the other hand stuffing envelopes shouldn't require such strict precision. He will spend an hour just to figure out how much water is require to seal an envelope. Who cares as long as it stays shut until someone gets it? He goe around explaining the "intricacies" of using a a ".3ml stroke held so the sponge it at 45 degrees in relation to the desk. 3lbs of pressure is the applied at exactly 7 inches with a smooth curve the apex of the lip." Guess what genius? You just missed the last mail truck because you your idiotic yammering.
The Resourceful Application Developer: Like Mozart was to classical, this man is to code. Coding in Assembly, C++, Perl, Java, you name it. he bring life to those innanimate circuitboards. Staring at screen for hours on end, people feel sympathy was you hear him yell, "DAMMIT" after errors appear during a compile. We all know he is in for hours of debugging in thousands of lines of code. Then we have Wannabe who have taken on to yelling out loud at each little thing. "PIECE OF SH!T STAMPS WON'T STICK", "DAMN ENVELOPE IS OVERWEIGHT," or "RETURN TO SENDER? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT?" Guess what buddy? Slamming your fists in frustration when you discover bad code in a ABS Brake controller for minivans carrying kids is unstandable. Who gives a flying phuck if you that damn stack is too thick for a trifold?
The Dashingingly Handsome Young Network Admin/IT Dood: Always with a sense of humor, IT Dood calms those he works around. No disaster if final and any problem can be resolved. Each fear is called with a bit of humor to ease the minds of the user. Well there is a fine line between funny and corny and this guy is a"maize"ingly corny. His conversation makes the water cooler want to jump out the window. Often his stupid comments border on sexual harrassment or racially offensive. Here's a bit of advice, making "beloved patriot" jokes around the Indian electical engineer will only lead to him on day wiring you chair to the 3 phase power.
I got to hear all of his idiotic rants and raves when I had to pull a CD-ROM and installed a CD-RW and DVD-ROM for the graphic designer. Of course he bitched that those "Conspiritors at Microsoft" and how we shoudl switch to Linux. Why does every "know it all" have a hardon to use Linux even though they have barely mastered Windows? I mean many tech saavy people use Linux to learn and diversify but this guy can hardly turn on a Speak N Spell. I tried to explain to him that Linux is Command Line like DOS (I dont; even want to use "UNIX" around him) and the GUI is an addon. Then he tells me how he used to be the DOS guru. This from the moron that tried to use commands like "Find Ghost File" "Find Ghost File On Server" "Use Ghost On Laptop" WTF!?!?
Then he asked when he will be getting a DVD upgrade. Uhhh.... like NEVER. I asked what he would need a DVD for. He gave some bullcrap about being more efficient when given cutting edge technology. WTF!?!?!? He has maybe used his CD-ROM twice since he's been here. HTF will a DVD make him more efficient? The GD needs it because some of his work now comes in on DVD. CD-Rs just can't hold those 100+MB TIFF files. Then he asks me what he should do if someone gave him a DVD with lots of big TIFFs? Who would be sending him a DVD with TIFFs in the first place?
Got what an idiot. By the time I was done I was ready to put a drive rail through his Adam's Apple. Through out the installation he would try to give advice on the "best" way to install hardware. All tis coming from a guy that doesn't know head or tails about anything. Hats off to the graphic designer who has to sit next to him 8 hours a day. I was ready to drive a mechanical pencil through my ears after 45 minutes.
Thanks for your time.
Windogg
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