RANT : Gifts are stupid

[Doboji]

I hate the fact that when people get married or have a baby or turn 13 or graduate or have a birthday or whatever, it is this social requirement to spend money on gifts. 90% of the time you really don't know the person so you end up buying some cheesy crappy gift that while managing to fulfill your social obligation really doesnt excite the recieving party beyond their socially required gracious thankyou.

I don't want to spend money on stupid gifts.... and registries are even worse... now you are required to help furnish the newly-weds home? Thats crap... If you know them really well and actually have an idea on your own for a gift you know they would like... thats one thing.

The same thing applies to Christmas and Hannukah and all these other westernized bullcrap holidays. Gift giving has become a socialized nightmare requirement instead of heartfelt caring gifts from the heart.

I dont want gifts either... I dont want some person I barely know to give me a picture frame so that I'm forced to find a picture to put in it... so that I can fulfill my obligation to use the gift. I don't want to have to wear the ugly ass tie so and so gave me, so that I can show them I like their gift.

I dont want these gifts... I don't need these crap gifts... give me something from your heart, and then it is the card that matters most to me. Write something in it that you feel.... hell don't even bother with the gift at all... just give me the card.

Thankyou....

 

[Ryan]

It's just because you're cheap.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

i was thinking "WTF is a RANT gift?"

 

[isasir]

4/10

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Don't give gifts. The worse that could happen is everyone thinks you are a cheap a$$hole.

 

[Zanix]

gift cards are the worst present. it's like saying "Here: Just because I care, a big hassle for you!"

 

[PingSpike]

I totally agree. The gifts you get are usually crap and the ones you give are crap. In the end, only the manufactors of cheap useless garbage win.

I thank god I'm a man. Its 10 times worse really with women. Sure, you've got valentines day and the big christmas and birthdays as a man. But my fiance has baby showers, wedding showers, she feels obligated to buy her friends kids christmas presents...WTF?

My bestfriend doesn't buy me gifts, and I don't buy him gifts. We both win.

Its just American societies way of trying to make you feel guilty for not being a good little consumer.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Originally posted by: Zanix
gift cards are the worst present. it's like saying "Here: Just because I care, a big hassle for you!"

yeah gift cards suck! just give cash if you can't think of something to buy.

 

[tami]

i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

 

[acemcmac]

Originally posted by: PingSpike
Its just American societies way of trying to make you feel guilty for not being a good little consumer.

teh teh teh teh wiNNAR

 

[PingSpike]

I think next year I'll give out cards that have a "You don't have to buy me a gift for one event of your choosing" offer on them. Then they won't buy me a second can opener and I won't have to buy them anything.

 

[Zanix]

Originally posted by: tami
i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

I like "Bring a dish to pass" type a weddings best.

 

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: tami
i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

Why am I your guest obligated to buy you what you want for your wedding?... Thats just bullcrap... I'm at your wedding... I'm witnessing your marriage... thats f-in good enough... Why do I have to put myself out for you?... Thats bullcrap... I don't owe you a gawdamn thing.... If you're my best friend.... then I wouldn't need a registry... I would know what you would really like and be able to get it for you. If I can't figure out what to get... I don't know you well enough to get you a damn thing.

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: tami
i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

If I don't go to your wedding, I am still obligated to send you a gift.

And if there's no cheap gifts left, I'm going to buy you a set of wallmart dish towels that aren't on the registry.

 

[Baked]

Cold hard cash is the best gift.

 

[acemcmac]

Originally posted by: tami
i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

A very dumb idea to be so fiscally reckless. Bear in mind that most bride's families still pay for the wedding themselves... If I were to have it my way, two of my buddies would be at my wedding, a few of the girl's gf's and the surviving family. 20 people tops and prime rib and beer back at my house when we're done... life goes on....

 

[Zanix]

Originally posted by: Doboji

Originally posted by: tami
i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

Why am I your guest obligated to buy you what you want for your wedding?... Thats just bullcrap... I'm at your wedding... I'm witnessing your marriage... thats f-in good enough... Why do I have to put myself out for you?... Thats bullcrap... I don't owe you a gawdamn thing.... If you're my best friend.... then I wouldn't need a registry... I would know what you would really like and be able to get it for you. If I can't figure out what to get... I don't know you well enough to get you a damn thing.

Same with christmas, everybody asks me "what do you want for christmas?!!"

Well, if you don't think you know what I need, don't buy me anything! The last thing I need is more sh!t laying around.

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: acemcmac

Originally posted by: tami
i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

A very dumb idea to be so fiscally reckless. Bear in mind that most bride's families still pay for the wedding themselves... If I were to have it my way, two of my buddies would be at my wedding, a few of the girl's gf's and the surviving family. 20 people tops and prime rib and beer back at my house when we're done... life goes on....

Me too...we're getting married in Oct. If it were up to me, we'd invite our immediate families, have a nice small ceremony with some decent food and be done with it. But no, our guest list is spiraling out of control because we both have huge families.

I don't even like many of my relatives. Some of them live so far away I don't even know them. I'm essentially just trading the hassle and cost of them coming in exchange for a bunch of gift registry crap. How wonderful is that?

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: Zanix

Originally posted by: Doboji

Originally posted by: tami
i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

Why am I your guest obligated to buy you what you want for your wedding?... Thats just bullcrap... I'm at your wedding... I'm witnessing your marriage... thats f-in good enough... Why do I have to put myself out for you?... Thats bullcrap... I don't owe you a gawdamn thing.... If you're my best friend.... then I wouldn't need a registry... I would know what you would really like and be able to get it for you. If I can't figure out what to get... I don't know you well enough to get you a damn thing.

Same with christmas, everybody asks me "what do you want for christmas?!!"

Well, if you don't think you know what I need, don't buy me anything! The last thing I need is more sh!t laying around.

Yeah, every Christmas "What do you want?" Nothing. I already bought everything I wanted. Anything else is a waste of your money.

I purposely don't buy any clothes all year so my mom has something to buy that I actually need.

 

[tami]

the weddings i was at most recently, doboji, cost approximately $75-200 per person. that's not cheap, so "witnessing" the marriage is a nice thing, but the point of the wedding for the guests is usually to benefit from the catered reception, the alcohol, and the music. (that's what most people like the best out of weddings i've been to at least.)

furthermore, best friends usually don't know what's practical and necessary for a new home either, so you can't play that card on this table, unfortunately. that's why my friends have registries -- i cannot think of a single person whose weddings i have attended over the past six-seven years (i've been to PLENTY) who already had everything necessary to begin their new home together.

my best friend (a college roommate of 3 years) got me a bagel slicer for my bridal shower. while that was on my registry and i wanted it, the essential items on my registry right now are dishes, dishes, and more dishes. i can't eat on a tabletop forever, and paper goods just don't last.

ping: if you RSVP no, you aren't necessarily obligated to buy a gift. at that point, it's more of a nice gesture, but i don't find it a requirement. i've seen people do it both ways though.

 

[tami]

Originally posted by: acemcmac

Originally posted by: tami
i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

A very dumb idea to be so fiscally reckless. Bear in mind that most bride's families still pay for the wedding themselves... If I were to have it my way, two of my buddies would be at my wedding, a few of the girl's gf's and the surviving family. 20 people tops and prime rib and beer back at my house when we're done... life goes on....

i wouldn't call it "fiscally reckless" when you have a big family that you're close to and want to share the occasion with.

sure, some people like small weddings and for them it's very practical. for others, it would just offend those who are not invited.

 

[Zanix]

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: Zanix

Originally posted by: Doboji

Originally posted by: tami
i'm getting married and i want a gift. ok? that's why i'm inviting you to my wedding. i am registered at bed bath and beyond, among other stores. please see what has not been purchased and buy me those items.

think about the fact that wedding budgets are usually on the high side, and often there are no finances left over for uh, say, a dish rack. that's why these registries exist. and if you think we haven't thought of the "let's elope and take the wedding money instead!" idea, you're wrong. some folks want to walk down an aisle and want to make a big to-do about their children's wedding.

Why am I your guest obligated to buy you what you want for your wedding?... Thats just bullcrap... I'm at your wedding... I'm witnessing your marriage... thats f-in good enough... Why do I have to put myself out for you?... Thats bullcrap... I don't owe you a gawdamn thing.... If you're my best friend.... then I wouldn't need a registry... I would know what you would really like and be able to get it for you. If I can't figure out what to get... I don't know you well enough to get you a damn thing.

Same with christmas, everybody asks me "what do you want for christmas?!!"

Well, if you don't think you know what I need, don't buy me anything! The last thing I need is more sh!t laying around.

Yeah, every Christmas "What do you want?" Nothing. I already bought everything I wanted. Anything else is a waste of your money.

I purposely don't buy any clothes all year so my mom has something to buy that I actually need.

It's like you're reading my mind over here!!


Edit: I haven't gone shopping for clothes, for myself, in ~5 years.

 

[Demon-Xanth]

I'm kinda burned out on the whole gift thing. But here's something I noticed:

I'm a single guy, if I get a $50 gift to each parent, and a $20 gift to each child, I can expect a $50 gift from the whole family in return.
If there's a group gift, a family puts in the same amount that a single guys puts in.

I actually looked into it after being kinda miffed about having got my dad a number of group gifts of his B'day and Christmas that were in the $300 range, and when my B'day came up he complained that $170 in shocks for a total of 4 or 5 people in my family was expensive. When I blew $100 on his B'day gift, $50 on father's day, $50 on my mom's birthday, and $40 on mother's day. His part of my gift would've been a single $50. For his Christmas gift, we got him some new mirrors for his truck, it ended up being about $90 for me, $90 for my mom, and $90 for my sister's family. Then my Brother in law thought it'd be good to get some paint matched paint to cover the old screw holes, somehow I got put in charge of getting it, a $20 can. So I ended up blowing $110 on my dad alone.

I end up spending about $1200/year on gifts, but never get in more than $600. I think I've already "paid back" all the gifts that I got when I was a kid.

But if I started giving out $20 gifts, I'd be the cheapskate.

</rant >

 

[tami]

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Me too...we're getting married in Oct. If it were up to me, we'd invite our immediate families, have a nice small ceremony with some decent food and be done with it. But no, our guest list is spiraling out of control because we both have huge families.

I don't even like many of my relatives. Some of them live so far away I don't even know them. I'm essentially just trading the hassle and cost of them coming in exchange for a bunch of gift registry crap. How wonderful is that?

exactly. if it were up to my fiance and me, we'd have a small wedding. but his mother has a huge family and my father has a huge family, and we both have large close-knit groups of friends from college that we wouldn't want to leave out. (i already had someone i didn't invite contact me asking me for the wedding and reception information -- and then i had to tell her that we had to limit the amount of people we invited -- it is a very awkward position to be put in.)

my mom has been planning out her daughters' weddings ever since they were born, basically. and i'm her first daughter getting married, so this is a huge to-do for her. she wants it to be extremely memorable. i can't just say that she has to stop and let us enjoy the wedding among small company. when we were children, my parents set aside finances for our weddings and budgeted accordingly, which is not reckless at all. but the point is that there will be many people who are invited, and with the cost per person for such an event, it's only appropriate to reciprocate with a gift. (i'll rephrase something i said earlier: if you don't attend, and you DO have finances to buy a present, you probably should, but if you don't have the money, i wouldn't be hurt if i didn't get a gift from you.)

as for other gifts (e.g. holiday gifts especially), i see your point, but as a bride-to-be, i do understand the necessity of wedding registries and it's a very convenient way of telling others that "we don't have this in our house, so if you'd like to buy it, we'd appreciate it, even if we don't know who the hell you are."

 

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: tami
the weddings i was at most recently, doboji, cost approximately $75-200 per person. that's not cheap, so "witnessing" the marriage is a nice thing, but the point of the wedding for the guests is usually to benefit from the catered reception, the alcohol, and the music. (that's what most people like the best out of weddings i've been to at least.)

furthermore, best friends usually don't know what's practical and necessary for a new home either, so you can't play that card on this table, unfortunately. that's why my friends have registries -- i cannot think of a single person whose weddings i have attended over the past six-seven years (i've been to PLENTY) who already had everything necessary to begin their new home together.

my best friend (a college roommate of 3 years) got me a bagel slicer for my bridal shower. while that was on my registry and i wanted it, the essential items on my registry right now are dishes, dishes, and more dishes. i can't eat on a tabletop forever, and paper goods just don't last.

ping: if you RSVP no, you aren't necessarily obligated to buy a gift. at that point, it's more of a nice gesture, but i don't find it a requirement. i've seen people do it both ways though.

If you can't afford to throw a wedding then don't throw a big wedding... it's not fair to think your gift registry is somehow going to comp you for the money spent on the wedding. Where's your spirit of compensation when your man buys you a 5 thousand dollar engagement ring? hmm?

Part of starting a life together is figuring out things like dishes and furnitue... sure it's nice when your close friends and family get together and give you a grand send off... but they don't OWE it to you. And this attitude of feeling they do because you threw a nice wedding party, and they drank lots of beer... is just selfish, and arrogant.