Here's my compiled list from over the years on the internet.
Discuss
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"The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit." - Eric Porterfield.
Damnit, do you want an acute case on your hands? This woman has immediate-post-parandel upper-adominable abstension! -- What did you say she's got? Cramps.
"The object of war is not to die for your country, but to get the other dumb b****** to die for his!" - - General George Patton
You are entitled to your opinion, even if it is wrong.
Shoot First, Ask Questions Later, Deny Everything! - FBI clan
"the day I take a suggestion from you is the day I do something so incredibly outrageous that I can not even conceive of it for the purposes of this illustrative metaphor" - LogRoller
"Ignorance is not an excuse.. heh, it's a cause." - Per Edman
"When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C. The Russians used a pencil."
"Hard work may pay off in the future, but laziness always pays off now"
"One by one the penguins steal my sanity from me"
Duct tape is like the Force?, it has a light side, a dark side, and it binds the universe together
"I don't knock on death's door-I ring the bell and run! Though sometimes I get caught anyway."
"Dont let your mind wander, it is to small to be by itself"
"If you expect the worse, anything less is a blessing"
"There is no such thing as impossible. Only the ignorance to think there is"
"Life is worth nothing, but nothing is worth more than life"
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like Grandpa... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. "
?How--how did you--?" ?You?ll find that I generally know everything,? said Gabriel, rubbing his fingernails proudly on his tunic front. ?You know that I wear Ninja Turtles underwear?? exclaimed Bob. ?I do now.? ?Dang.? - Maghrabi.
"Dont steal, The government hates competition "
"Given the choice between recommending Roomie!(tm) and being force-fed radioactive toxic waste at gunpoint, I would heartily recommend Roomie!(tm). Probably."
"If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? "
"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish"
"Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley. "
" I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect. "
"Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. "
"Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. "
"If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? "
"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
"A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.""
"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel." Homer Simpson
"What do you mean duck tape can't fix it!?"
"I regret to inform you of the recent death of employee #679147, whose demise can be blamed only upon his own incompetance. Services will be held Saturday from 11 to 11:05am. If you wish to attend, make sure to bring a signed copy of form 1173-A."
"Overtime is strictly prohibited per statute 46 stroke three, subsection nine. Working more than your required 82 hours may result in a pay cut."
"Congratulations to the H.A.R.M. Basketball team who defeated the Misery team 88-27 last sunday. Special thanks shopuld go out to the Counter-Counter Intelligence Research Group for their special handling of the Misery water supply."
"Please observe a moment of silence in memory of our beloved colleague, Marcus Mitchell. Preliminary reports suggest that during a routine investigation of what appeared to be a small graphical corruption, marcus stumbled across either a geometrical anomaly or a map hole and fell out of the world. At least we can take solace in the knowledge that he is no longer receiving updates and should therefore not hurt performance."
"After the war is over, it's not the words of your enemy that you remember, it's the silence of your friends."
"There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who can read binary, and those who can't."
"Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red thorns, This would be so much easiar if I wasn't color blind!"
"never play leap frog with a unicorn!"
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
"If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?"
"He who knows best knows how little he knows."
"There's three types of people in the world: Those who can count, and those who can't"
"You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!"
"NuclearMissile. Did your dad realy buy you one thousand three hundred and thirty seven games?"
"You spend the first 2 years of a childs life teaching them to Walk and Talk. Then you spend the next 16 years trying to get them to sit down and shut up."
"If you choke a smurf, what color does he turn?"
"One time I punched this little kid in my neighborhood and stole his bag of candy. He was dressed as an old lady. But when I got a few blocks away and looked to see what candy I'd gotten, it turned out to be an old lady's purse. It hadn't been a kid in costume; it was actually an old lady! Of course, there was nothing worth keeping in the purse except her medication and her Social Security check. Mom laughed at me and told me what a retard I am. Old people blow."
"A friend of mine who lives near Yellowstone Park took her boy to Mammoth Hot Springs to trick or treat several years ago. As they were going from house to house hitting up park staff for goodies, the boy tripped and dropped his bag. He scrambled around shoving his candy back in the bag, and shortly thereafter they called it a night. When they got home, the boy emptied the sack on the table and half the stuff in there were elkpoop nuggets (locally referred to as elk duds). Needless to say, they were both horrified. I don't think any of the candy that year was eaten."
"One year we got a few free sample rolls of chewable vitamin C from the grocery store and decided to hand them out to the teenage ***hats who showed up on our doorstep with no costumes. We laugh about it to this day..."
"20 Cartons of egges - $60 Gas - 20$ Smoking approximatley 150 housed with your friends... priceless."
"an EMPTY bottle of beer...that guy got a nice surprize when it came back and his window..."
"If I'm right, computers are going to blow up the planet causing world peace, and everything will be sunny, and things will be OK, because down in Hell, Satan will be spending all his time filing paperwork." - SamuelK
"If you're not willing to stand and defend your ideals, you don't deserve to have them at all"
"If God had amnesia, and it was your fault...should you tell him?" TBC
"Be careful of the bridges you burn....you may end up on an island with no way back and only yourself and your pride to blame." -Bone Collector
I dont copnsider my self to be a very "smart" person but i atlest no ware most contres are...... its scary to think that thier are people dumber than me
"Dr. Vincent P. Mathews said teens diagnosed with a condition called disruptive behavior disorder are likely to "act out by harming animals or property" after hours of gaming.
Found that rather humerous myself, saying that people with a known disorder that causes them to be violent are likely to be violent after playing video games. Isn't that like saying that since a fire is hot, putting one's hand into a fire could tend to cause burns? "
"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith!. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. "Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Merry Christmas Buddy"
"So they have us surrounded huh? Well that simplifies the problem, now we can shoot in any direction and get them. The Bastards won't get away this time!" - Chesty Puller
"Marines never die. They just go to Hell and regroup!"
"I like to drive fast, carry a gun and sleep with men. As long as people don't cross me on those issues, we get along fine." - Nebor
"You can't remove the ignorance from some people. It's just not possible." -n0cmonkey
"The beatings will continue until morale improves." - AnandTech Moderator
"Remember, the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"
"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot
"The only thing seen clear by you is your lower intestinal tract." - Red Dawn
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread
