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Randoim Jack Bauer Fact Generator

V

venk

Banned
Chuck Noriss tried to roundhouse kick Jack Bauer, but Jack shot him in the head, slept with Chuck's wife, and raised Chuck's son. The result was 24 season 5.

Jack Bauer has never lost a poll. He shoots the other canidate(s) in the head and replaces them with himself.
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: MasterAndCommander
Chuck Norris wipes his @ss with Jack Bauer.

Who the fvck is Jack Bauer?
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maroon! 😛
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I'm a shade of red? 😕
Maroon is a color mixture composed of brown and purple. Although conceptually a color mixture, it can be regarded as a dark (and possibly also desaturated) shade of red. Derived from French marron ("chestnut"), it didn't become a color-word in English until ca. 1791.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in Kiefer Sutherland's blood and tears. ...
 
Here's a few more i stole from another forum:


Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
 
Originally posted by: n7
Here's a few more i stole from another forum:


Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Click to expand...


:beer:
 
Originally posted by: n7
Here's a few more i stole from another forum:


Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Click to expand...

Don't forget how fast Jack is. He can travel hundreds of miles in a single episode!

 
Originally Chuck Norris was going to be hired to play the role of Jack Bauer on the show "24". The producers changed their minds when they realized the show would last only 17 minutes.
 
Jack Bauer tried to stand up to Chuck Norris' legend by creating a fake random fact generator on an online forum. In retaliation, Chuck roundhouse kicked it until it was locked and BANNED.
 
Cool... Jack Bauer is finally getting the respect that he deserves! 🙂

Of course, this means that both Jack Bauer AND Chuck Norris will become banned words now 🙁
 
Originally posted by: MasterAndCommander
Originally Chuck Norris was going to be hired to play the role of Jack Bauer on the show "24". The producers changed their minds when they realized the show would last only 17 minutes.
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🙂
 
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