quick, tell me a joke

[bigrash]

thanks in advance!

 

[amdhunter]

there once was a man from nantucket...

 

[takeru]

i video does a better job of making you laugh

 

[mh47g]

Two hydrogens walk into a bar

One hydrogen says to the other "FCK MAN, I think I lost an electron!"

The other hydrogen replies, "Are you sure?"

"I'm Positive!!!!"

 

[Ns1]

Hold out your left hand....

 

[KeithTalent]

So, there's a man crawling through the desert...

KT

 

[her209]

You have a plane. You have a conveyor belt.

 

[effowe]

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch" he said.

 

[Baked]

Go watch "what what in the butt" on youtube.

 

[theprodigalrebel]

I once farted into the mic while running Office's speech-to-text feature and it typed out France.

 

[Saulbadguy]

I had a buddy who recently got in to a terrible car accident. He broke his left arm and left leg.

Oh, he's alright now.

 

[daveymark]

better nate than lever!

 

[Saulbadguy]

Originally posted by: daveymark
better nate than lever!

 

[blackdogdeek]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
I once farted into the mic while running Office's speech-to-text feature and it typed out France.

lol.

i'm just going to give you the punchline for a joke.

"...but you fvck *one* picnic table..."

 

[E equals MC2]

knock knock

who's there?

go fuck yourself.



always crack me up (from Catch Me If You Can).

 

[child of wonder]

A redneck decides to broaden his horizons so he enrolls at a local college. When it comes time to sign up for classes he has no idea what to take. He stops a professor and asks what he would recommend. The professor says "you should take logic classes."
"What the hell would I use that fer?" asks the redneck.
"I'll show you. Do you own a rake?"
"Sure do." the redneck replies.
"OK. I can then infer that since you own a rake you have a yard. Am I right?"
"Hell, that's right!"
"I can further deduce that since you have a yard you must own your own home."
"Wow! That's right!"
"Since you own your own home and look to be middle age I'll bet you have a wife."
"Heck yeah, I do!"
"Then I can deduce that you are a heterosexual. Correct?"
"Damn straight!"

The redneck is so impressed he signs up for all the logic classes available. Then he goes to the bar to tell his friend.

"Logic? What the hell you takin' that for?" the friend asks.
"I'll show you. Do you own a rake?"
"No." says the friend.
"Then you're a queer."

 

[jonks]

A family goes to see a talent agent...

 

[bigrash]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
I once farted into the mic while running Office's speech-to-text feature and it typed out France.

hehe

 

[bigrash]

Originally posted by: takeru
i video does a better job of making you laugh

damn can't watch at work. I'll check it later though

 

[bigrash]

Originally posted by: child of wonder
A redneck decides to broaden his horizons so he enrolls at a local college. When it comes time to sign up for classes he has no idea what to take. He stops a professor and asks what he would recommend. The professor says "you should take logic classes."
"What the hell would I use that fer?" asks the redneck.
"I'll show you. Do you own a rake?"
"Sure do." the redneck replies.
"OK. I can then infer that since you own a rake you have a yard. Am I right?"
"Hell, that's right!"
"I can further deduce that since you have a yard you must own your own home."
"Wow! That's right!"
"Since you own your own home and look to be middle age I'll bet you have a wife."
"Heck yeah, I do!"
"Then I can deduce that you are a heterosexual. Correct?"
"Damn straight!"

The redneck is so impressed he signs up for all the logic classes available. Then he goes to the bar to tell his friend.

"Logic? What the hell you takin' that for?" the friend asks.
"I'll show you. Do you own a rake?"
"No." says the friend.
"Then you're a queer."

haha. wasn't this posted two weeks ago. still funny though

 

[JulesMaximus]

<--Hands bigrash a mirror.

 

[SunnyD]

Two men walked into a bar...

... which was really stupid since the second man saw the first man do it.

 

[manowar821]

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet when he falls in water, the water gets Norris.

 

[bigrash]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
<--Hands bigrash a mirror.

hey man, that wasn't funny

 

[bigrash]

Originally posted by: manowar821
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet when he falls in water, the water gets Norris.

I'll admit I chuckled, even though I think CN jokes are teh dumb