Quick question.
- Thread starter Dofuss3000
- Start date
Brainonska511
Lifer
- Dec 10, 2005
- 29,079
- 14,434
- 136
Toastedlightly
Diamond Member
- Aug 7, 2004
- 7,214
- 6
- 81
Evadman
Administrator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
- Feb 18, 2001
- 30,990
- 5
- 81
that may be a quick question, but the answer is very long. Instead, I choose to prattle along about you Dofuss3000; it is way more fun.
If I were to summarize Dofuss3000's conceited, pudibund ruses I'd need only one word: pesky. The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter but the conclusion's general outline is that when Dofuss3000's disgraceful, warped utterances are translated into plain, words-mean-things English, he appears to be saying that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of pretentious stereotypes. For me, this scurrilous moonshine serves only to emphasize how if you think that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments, then think again. Dofuss3000 wants to incite an atmosphere of violence and endangerment toward the good men, women, and children of this state. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. Given the tenor of our times, this is betrayal of the many by the few. The sooner he comes to grips with that reality, the better for all of us. If I had to choose the most goofy specimen from Dofuss3000's welter of self-absorbed gabble, it would have to be Dofuss3000's claim that violence and prejudice are funny.
Dofuss3000's belief systems have caused widespread social alienation, and from this alienation a thousand social pathologies have sprung. To pick an obvious, but often overlooked, example, our sacred values and traditions mean nothing to Dofuss3000. Now, that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter. So let me corroborate it by saying that Dofuss3000 loves getting up in front of people and telling them that it's okay to gain a respectable foothold for his oppressive newsgroup postings. He then boasts about how he'll substitute rumor and gossip for bona fide evidence by the next full moon. It's all part of the media spectacle that is Dofuss3000. Of course, he soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, Dofuss3000's philippics owe much to the ploys of impractical guttersnipes. We can therefore extrapolate that Dofuss3000's smears reek of favoritism. I use the word "reek" because if I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to derail Dofuss3000's shiftless little schemes. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that Dofuss3000 wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe "as many as six impossible things before breakfast". Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that mediocrity is a worthwhile goal. I prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that Dofuss3000 insists that deluded, sappy lounge lizards and malign, cranky hooligans should rule this country. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject.
If you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you're wrong. The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, "What demons possessed Dofuss3000 to exercise both subtlety and thoroughness in managing both the news and the entertainment that gets presented to us?" My answer is, as always, a model of clarity and the soul of wit: I don't know. However, I do know that if it were up to him, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. The dominant characteristic of his endeavors is not that they put a stentorian, cruel spin on important issues, but that, in the bargain, they enslave us, suppress our freedom, regiment our lives, confiscate our property, and dictate our values. Dofuss3000 yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for Dofuss3000, "attract attention" usually implies "create widespread psychological suffering". As I've said in the past, his obiter dicta do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress.
Don't get me wrong; Dofuss3000 exhibits bad sportsmanship. But by Dofuss3000's standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children -- let alone teach them to be morally fit -- you're definitely a noisome, nerdy lunatic. My standards -- and I suspect yours as well -- are quite different from his. For instance, I sincerely assert that if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem. Every time he tells his accomplices that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately irritating, their eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question.
If Dofuss3000 continues to shift blame from those who benefit from oppression to those who suffer from it, the result can be a tone-deafness, a cluelessness, on matters that are at the center of experience for vast segments of the population. Though his fairy tales be madness, yet there is method to them. Step by step, they make it easier for Dofuss3000 to sully my reputation. That's just one side of the coin. The other side is that he has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to popularize a genre of music whose graphic lyrics explicitly urge reprehensible degenerates to muddy the word "mediterraneanization". I am chagrined but resigned when I witness the indifference to the fundamentals of language that Dofuss3000 displays, and every intellectually honest person knows it. I have frequently criticized his unspoken plan to introduce changes without testing them first. He usually addresses my criticisms by accusing me of corporatism, tribalism, child molestation, and halitosis. Dofuss3000 hopes that by delegitimizing me this way, no one will listen to me when I say that Dofuss3000 considers it his calling to preach the gospel of careerism to every living creature -- and Dofuss3000 knows it.
You may be surprised to learn that I was once like Dofuss3000. I, too, wanted to prime the pump of ruffianism. It interfered with my judgment, my reasoning, and my ability to expand people's understanding of Dofuss3000's stuck-up ideals. I have a soft spot for myopic gadflies: a bog not too far from here. He is like a giant octopus sprawling its slimy length over city, state, and nation. Like the octopus of real life, Dofuss3000 operates under cover of self-created screen. He seizes in his long and powerful tentacles our executive officers, our legislative bodies, our schools, our courts, our newspapers, and every agency created for the public protection.
Similarly, Dofuss3000's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. I don't mean to imply that Dofuss3000's compeers have decided, behind closed doors and in closed sessions, to insist that our society be infested with priggism, onanism, vandalism, and an impressive swarm of other "isms", but it's true, nonetheless. I don't wish to psychologize here, but Dofuss3000's dysfunctional attempt to construct a creative response to my previous letter was absolutely pitiful. Really, Dofuss3000, stringing together a bunch of solecistic insults and seemingly random babble is hardly effective. It simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that in a rather infamous speech, he exclaimed that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.)
Why don't more people complain when they see Dofuss3000 do everything possible to keep hostile snobs gutless and fork-tongued? It's because Dofuss3000 has mastered the art of tricking people with images and myths. He creates myths about what the world is like and then generates false images to match those myths. This proves to me, at least, that Dofuss3000 attributes the most distorted, bizarre, and ludicrous "meanings" to ordinary personality charcteristics. For example, if you're shy, he calls you "fearful and withdrawn". If, instead, you're the outgoing and active type, Dofuss3000 says you're "acting out due to trauma". Why does he say such things? To turn that question around, why does he insist on boring holes in the hull of the boat in which he himself is also a passenger? I apologize if this disappoints you but my intent was only to elucidate the question, not to answer it. I shall therefore state only that life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is Dofuss3000 so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? I can give you only my best estimate, made after long and anxious consideration, but I do not pose as an expert in these matters. I can say only that of all of Dofuss3000's exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "Dofuss3000's opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality." I don't know where he came up with this, but his statement is dead wrong. I predict that Dofuss3000 will persist with his perversions, profligacy, and perilous pursuits. The facts are indisputable, the arguments are impeccable, and the consequences are undeniable. So why does Dofuss3000 claim that merit is adequately measured by his methods and qualifications? I'll tell you the answer in a moment. But first, let me just say that he is frightened that we might weed out people like Dofuss3000 who have deceived, betrayed, and exploited us. That's why Dofuss3000's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that there is still hope for our society, real hope -- not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of the most ultra-crotchety bludgers you'll ever see (also known as Dofuss3000's supporters), but the hope that makes you eager to help young people develop the ability to make informed and reasoned decisions for the public good as citizens of a culturally diverse, democratic society in an interdependent world.
Do you really think that he is the ultimate authority on what's right and what's wrong, as Dofuss3000 claims? Wake up! Dofuss3000 must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why Dofuss3000 accuses me of admitting that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. What I actually said is that Dofuss3000's propaganda factories continuously spew forth messages like, "Coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power" and, "Dofuss3000 can override nature". What they don't tell you, though, is that if Dofuss3000 gets his way, I might very well develop an eating disorder.
Dofuss3000 occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being high-handed, vicious four-flushers. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which Dofuss3000 habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of insensate polemics. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that the baneful nature of Dofuss3000's hijinks is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify. Here's a specific example of the way in which Dofuss3000's diatribes are colored by a sycophantic adoration of recidivism: He wants to use lethal violence as a source of humor. If we let Dofuss3000 take rights away from individuals on the basis of prejudice, myth, irrational belief, inaccurate information, and outright falsehood, then greed, corruption, and statism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock-in-trade of the media and educational institutions. Sometime in the future he will put our liberties at risk by a self-satisfied and uninformed rush to fight with spiritual weapons that are as fickle as they are muzzy-headed. Fortunately, that hasn't happened...yet. But it will truly happen if we don't call your attention to the problem of illogical euphuists. In a nutshell, the ideas backing up Dofuss3000's "compromises" are extremely primitive and sordid.
If I were to summarize Dofuss3000's conceited, pudibund ruses I'd need only one word: pesky. The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter but the conclusion's general outline is that when Dofuss3000's disgraceful, warped utterances are translated into plain, words-mean-things English, he appears to be saying that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of pretentious stereotypes. For me, this scurrilous moonshine serves only to emphasize how if you think that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments, then think again. Dofuss3000 wants to incite an atmosphere of violence and endangerment toward the good men, women, and children of this state. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. Given the tenor of our times, this is betrayal of the many by the few. The sooner he comes to grips with that reality, the better for all of us. If I had to choose the most goofy specimen from Dofuss3000's welter of self-absorbed gabble, it would have to be Dofuss3000's claim that violence and prejudice are funny.
Dofuss3000's belief systems have caused widespread social alienation, and from this alienation a thousand social pathologies have sprung. To pick an obvious, but often overlooked, example, our sacred values and traditions mean nothing to Dofuss3000. Now, that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter. So let me corroborate it by saying that Dofuss3000 loves getting up in front of people and telling them that it's okay to gain a respectable foothold for his oppressive newsgroup postings. He then boasts about how he'll substitute rumor and gossip for bona fide evidence by the next full moon. It's all part of the media spectacle that is Dofuss3000. Of course, he soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, Dofuss3000's philippics owe much to the ploys of impractical guttersnipes. We can therefore extrapolate that Dofuss3000's smears reek of favoritism. I use the word "reek" because if I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to derail Dofuss3000's shiftless little schemes. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that Dofuss3000 wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe "as many as six impossible things before breakfast". Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that mediocrity is a worthwhile goal. I prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that Dofuss3000 insists that deluded, sappy lounge lizards and malign, cranky hooligans should rule this country. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject.
If you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you're wrong. The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, "What demons possessed Dofuss3000 to exercise both subtlety and thoroughness in managing both the news and the entertainment that gets presented to us?" My answer is, as always, a model of clarity and the soul of wit: I don't know. However, I do know that if it were up to him, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. The dominant characteristic of his endeavors is not that they put a stentorian, cruel spin on important issues, but that, in the bargain, they enslave us, suppress our freedom, regiment our lives, confiscate our property, and dictate our values. Dofuss3000 yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for Dofuss3000, "attract attention" usually implies "create widespread psychological suffering". As I've said in the past, his obiter dicta do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress.
Don't get me wrong; Dofuss3000 exhibits bad sportsmanship. But by Dofuss3000's standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children -- let alone teach them to be morally fit -- you're definitely a noisome, nerdy lunatic. My standards -- and I suspect yours as well -- are quite different from his. For instance, I sincerely assert that if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem. Every time he tells his accomplices that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately irritating, their eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question.
If Dofuss3000 continues to shift blame from those who benefit from oppression to those who suffer from it, the result can be a tone-deafness, a cluelessness, on matters that are at the center of experience for vast segments of the population. Though his fairy tales be madness, yet there is method to them. Step by step, they make it easier for Dofuss3000 to sully my reputation. That's just one side of the coin. The other side is that he has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to popularize a genre of music whose graphic lyrics explicitly urge reprehensible degenerates to muddy the word "mediterraneanization". I am chagrined but resigned when I witness the indifference to the fundamentals of language that Dofuss3000 displays, and every intellectually honest person knows it. I have frequently criticized his unspoken plan to introduce changes without testing them first. He usually addresses my criticisms by accusing me of corporatism, tribalism, child molestation, and halitosis. Dofuss3000 hopes that by delegitimizing me this way, no one will listen to me when I say that Dofuss3000 considers it his calling to preach the gospel of careerism to every living creature -- and Dofuss3000 knows it.
You may be surprised to learn that I was once like Dofuss3000. I, too, wanted to prime the pump of ruffianism. It interfered with my judgment, my reasoning, and my ability to expand people's understanding of Dofuss3000's stuck-up ideals. I have a soft spot for myopic gadflies: a bog not too far from here. He is like a giant octopus sprawling its slimy length over city, state, and nation. Like the octopus of real life, Dofuss3000 operates under cover of self-created screen. He seizes in his long and powerful tentacles our executive officers, our legislative bodies, our schools, our courts, our newspapers, and every agency created for the public protection.
Similarly, Dofuss3000's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. I don't mean to imply that Dofuss3000's compeers have decided, behind closed doors and in closed sessions, to insist that our society be infested with priggism, onanism, vandalism, and an impressive swarm of other "isms", but it's true, nonetheless. I don't wish to psychologize here, but Dofuss3000's dysfunctional attempt to construct a creative response to my previous letter was absolutely pitiful. Really, Dofuss3000, stringing together a bunch of solecistic insults and seemingly random babble is hardly effective. It simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that in a rather infamous speech, he exclaimed that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.)
Why don't more people complain when they see Dofuss3000 do everything possible to keep hostile snobs gutless and fork-tongued? It's because Dofuss3000 has mastered the art of tricking people with images and myths. He creates myths about what the world is like and then generates false images to match those myths. This proves to me, at least, that Dofuss3000 attributes the most distorted, bizarre, and ludicrous "meanings" to ordinary personality charcteristics. For example, if you're shy, he calls you "fearful and withdrawn". If, instead, you're the outgoing and active type, Dofuss3000 says you're "acting out due to trauma". Why does he say such things? To turn that question around, why does he insist on boring holes in the hull of the boat in which he himself is also a passenger? I apologize if this disappoints you but my intent was only to elucidate the question, not to answer it. I shall therefore state only that life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is Dofuss3000 so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? I can give you only my best estimate, made after long and anxious consideration, but I do not pose as an expert in these matters. I can say only that of all of Dofuss3000's exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "Dofuss3000's opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality." I don't know where he came up with this, but his statement is dead wrong. I predict that Dofuss3000 will persist with his perversions, profligacy, and perilous pursuits. The facts are indisputable, the arguments are impeccable, and the consequences are undeniable. So why does Dofuss3000 claim that merit is adequately measured by his methods and qualifications? I'll tell you the answer in a moment. But first, let me just say that he is frightened that we might weed out people like Dofuss3000 who have deceived, betrayed, and exploited us. That's why Dofuss3000's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that there is still hope for our society, real hope -- not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of the most ultra-crotchety bludgers you'll ever see (also known as Dofuss3000's supporters), but the hope that makes you eager to help young people develop the ability to make informed and reasoned decisions for the public good as citizens of a culturally diverse, democratic society in an interdependent world.
Do you really think that he is the ultimate authority on what's right and what's wrong, as Dofuss3000 claims? Wake up! Dofuss3000 must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why Dofuss3000 accuses me of admitting that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. What I actually said is that Dofuss3000's propaganda factories continuously spew forth messages like, "Coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power" and, "Dofuss3000 can override nature". What they don't tell you, though, is that if Dofuss3000 gets his way, I might very well develop an eating disorder.
Dofuss3000 occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being high-handed, vicious four-flushers. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which Dofuss3000 habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of insensate polemics. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that the baneful nature of Dofuss3000's hijinks is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify. Here's a specific example of the way in which Dofuss3000's diatribes are colored by a sycophantic adoration of recidivism: He wants to use lethal violence as a source of humor. If we let Dofuss3000 take rights away from individuals on the basis of prejudice, myth, irrational belief, inaccurate information, and outright falsehood, then greed, corruption, and statism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock-in-trade of the media and educational institutions. Sometime in the future he will put our liberties at risk by a self-satisfied and uninformed rush to fight with spiritual weapons that are as fickle as they are muzzy-headed. Fortunately, that hasn't happened...yet. But it will truly happen if we don't call your attention to the problem of illogical euphuists. In a nutshell, the ideas backing up Dofuss3000's "compromises" are extremely primitive and sordid.
IHateMyJob2004
Lifer
- Sep 29, 2004
- 18,656
- 68
- 91
I shall now enrich your life by sharing with you about Evadman. At one stage or another, every man woman or child will be faced with the issue of Evadman. Though Evadman is a favourite topic of discussion amongst monarchs, presidents and dictators, there are just not enough blues songs written about Evadman. Since it was first compared to antidisestablishmentarianism much has been said concerning Evadman by the aristocracy, many of whom blame the influence of television. In the light of this I will break down the issues in order to give each of them the thought that they fully deserve
Social Factors
Comparisons between Roman Society and Medieval Society give a clear picture of the importance of Evadman to developments in social conduct. I will not insult the readers inteligence by explaining this obvious comparison any further. When blues legend 'Bare Foot D' remarked 'awooooh eeee only my dawg understands me' [1] he must have been referning to Evadman. Much has been said about the influence of the media on Evadman. Observers claim it cleary plays a significant role amongst the developing middle classes.
Did I mention how lovely Evadman is? It is intrinsically linked to adolescent inner acclimatisation.
Economic Factors
Increasingly economic growth and innovation are being attributed to Evadman. Of course, Evadman fits perfectly into the Inter-Spam model. Taking special care to highlight the role of Evadman within the vast framework which this provides.
Transport
Costs
Evadman
The results displayed in the graph are too clear to be ignored. Clearly transport costs has always depended upon Evadman to a certain extent, but now more that ever. In the light of this free trade must be examined.
Political Factors
Modern politics owes much to the animal kingdom. Comparing Evadman and much of what has been written of it can be like comparing playing with a puppy and singing with a blackbird.
To quote jazz singer Demetrius Woodpecker 'Taking a walk across hot coals will inevitably hurt your feet.' [2] Considered by many to be one of the 'Founding Fathers' of Evadman, his words cannot be over-looked. To paraphrase, the quote is saying 'Evadman wins votes.' Simple as that.
While Evadman may be a giant amongst men, is it a dwarf amongst policy? I hope not.
Conclusion
To reiterate, Evadman must not be allowed to get in the way of the bigger question: why are we here? Putting this aside its of great importance. It fills a hole, brought up a generation and never hides.
One final thought from the talented Britney Schwarzenegger: 'At first I was afraid I was petrified. Thinking I could never live without Evadman by my side.'
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