QUICK help needed!!!!! I don't know what to do / say...

[Art Vandelay]

My girlfriend is interning with a law firm in LA and she is staying with a family that her family knows from her hometown. Anyways, the father of the family was also working for the same law firm, but he passed away today I met the guy when he was down in DC for a conference, such a nice person... and worst of all, my g/f kinda looked upon this guy like a father. My girl called me around 10 tonight and told me the news, we talked for half an hour, mainly her crying and me trying to help her get over something like this but I have never been in a situation like this... anyways, she is also a cross country runner, so she said she was going to run for an hour to see if it will help her overcome things. The guy had a heart attack in Denver as he was there to move some stuff to their LA home. He was alone, so nobody to help or call paramedics. G/F sounded in horrible condition, she had to drop the mother, 21 year old daughter and 19 year old son to the airport after getting the news... She probably will call me in a bit, but I don't know what to tell her other than I am sorry? Help?

 

[cpals]

I don't really think you're supposed to talk much...

 

[KillyKillall]

Just listen and don't do that thing where you just wait for your turn to talk.

 

[DrPizza]

Any way you can go out to LA to be with her through this?
At least show her that you're making an attempt to do so, even if you know up front that it wouldn't work out.

 

[yowolabi]

Encourage her to talk, be an active listener. Dont try to solve her grief, it can't be done. Just let her know you're there for her.

 

[Art Vandelay]

Thanks, i'll try to keep my mouth shut. What if she expects me to say something?

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: Art Vandelay
Thanks, i'll try to keep my mouth shut. What if she expects me to say something?

Is that honestly something that you will have a hard time dealing with? You're not that socially inept, are you?

What she's going through can't be taught or coached. Neither can providing support for her. You have to just knuckle-down and do it.

Raise your confidence level and you'll figure it out yourself.

 

[Art Vandelay]

Originally posted by: GuideBot

Originally posted by: Art Vandelay
Thanks, i'll try to keep my mouth shut. What if she expects me to say something?

Is that honestly something that you will have a hard time dealing with? You're not that socially inept, are you?

What she's going through can't be taught or coached. Neither can providing support for her. You have to just knuckle-down and do it.

Raise your confidence level and you'll figure it out yourself.

One wonders what you have been smoking to conclude I am socially inept or have a low confidence level... anyways, now I got back from work and will call again... here we go.

 

[Crescent13]

I don't know what to do

start using paragraphs.

 

[soydios]

Your role is to listen and just be there to offer your shoulder for her to cry on. Odds are she's doing the same to the poor guy's immediate family. I went through this about two years ago; my best friend's dad died of cancer.