questions about criminals

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Chiropteran

Diamond Member
Nov 14, 2003
9,811
110
106
I would like to here from anyone who's primary income source is illegal.

Jewelry thieves, hijackers, muggers, drug dealers, car thieves, tax accountants- I want to hear from all of you.

Can you make enough money to retire after just one job? Is it really as easy as it looks in the movies?

What do you do about the cops? Does bribery work, or is it better to just kill them?

Any tips for a beginner?

What kind of income should a criminal "newbie" expect for the first month?

Anyway, that is all for now. Thanks in advance :)
 
JoLLyRoGer

JoLLyRoGer

Diamond Member
Aug 24, 2000
4,153
4
81
WTF kind of thread is this? Soliciting the community to support your illeagal endeavors?

LOCK & BAN!
 
V

venk

Banned
Dec 10, 2000
7,449
1
0
You should start out as a basic grunt/lackey/henchman and if you survive an assult on the evil stronghold by the superhero/secret agent then you could work your way up the career leader. The early level end boss is where you start making the big bucks.
 
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David Brent

Banned
May 26, 2005
541
0
0
play the sims and take the life of crime carreer. you'll learn all you need to know about being a carreer criminal, it's quite easy. sleep, get up, eat food, poop, shower, study charisma in front of the mirror, and when the car comes to pick you up, leave 15 minutes early because it takes 15 minutes to get from the front door to the sidewalk.
 
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Wallydraigle

Banned
Nov 27, 2000
10,754
1
0
LMAO! Not at the OP, which sucks hairy goat nads, but at all the replies pretending to take it seriously. You guys almost had me there for a second, but then I remembered that someone would have to be not only a jackass, but also retarded to think that it was anything but a joke. You guys!
 
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Wallydraigle

Banned
Nov 27, 2000
10,754
1
0
But anyway, the best way to get into crime is to run for office. That way, not only will you be able to steal from everyone else without going to jail, but all the other people who have are in office will help you out, and you get your own army of thugs, oops, I mean police protection.
 
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CVSiN

Diamond Member
Jul 19, 2004
9,289
1
0
Originally posted by: Chiropteran
I would like to here from anyone who's primary income source is illegal.

Jewelry thieves, hijackers, muggers, drug dealers, car thieves, tax accountants- I want to hear from all of you.

Can you make enough money to retire after just one job? Is it really as easy as it looks in the movies?

What do you do about the cops? Does bribery work, or is it better to just kill them?

Any tips for a beginner?

What kind of income should a criminal "newbie" expect for the first month?

Anyway, that is all for now. Thanks in advance :)
Click to expand...

um can we get an... OMFGWTFBANTHISTARD? asking flat out for illegal activities advice has got to be against the rules..


 
E

everman

Lifer
Nov 5, 2002
11,288
1
0
You should go the pirate route. You'll need a ship, flag, and an eye patch. The parrot is optional, but highly reccomended.
 
A

Alex

Diamond Member
Oct 26, 1999
6,995
0
0
Originally posted by: everman
You should go the pirate route. You'll need a ship, flag, and an eye patch. The parrot is optional, but highly reccomended.
Click to expand...

:D
 
bradruth

bradruth

Lifer
Aug 9, 2002
13,479
2
81
Originally posted by: Chiropteran
Can you make enough money to retire after just one job? Is it really as easy as it looks in the movies?

What do you do about the cops? Does bribery work, or is it better to just kill them?

Any tips for a beginner?

What kind of income should a criminal "newbie" expect for the first month?
Click to expand...

No, no.

Bribery doesn't work, but be sure to resist arrest--it's fun for everyone!

Go after the top guys in local organized crime right away.

Little to nothing.
 
RichUK

RichUK

Lifer
Feb 14, 2005
10,341
678
126
Originally posted by: bradruth
Originally posted by: Chiropteran
Can you make enough money to retire after just one job? Is it really as easy as it looks in the movies?

What do you do about the cops? Does bribery work, or is it better to just kill them?

Any tips for a beginner?

What kind of income should a criminal "newbie" expect for the first month?
Click to expand...

No, no.

Bribery doesn't work, but be sure to resist arrest--it's fun for everyone!
Go after the top guys in local organized crime right away.

Little to nothing.
Click to expand...

hahaha

 
2

2cpuminimum

Senior member
Jun 1, 2005
578
0
0
Remember, when stealing cars it's always most profitable to steal police cars. The ones parked right by the station have less miles on them and will go for more.
 
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