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Question for you 40+'s of ATOT

Nograts

Nograts

Platinum Member
Hi Guys.

You all know me, I'm that asshole that nobody wants to admit exists but here I am. I have a question for you 40+'s here on ATOT since there seems to be more than a half dozen. Feel free to leave your troll remarks to this post as I get a kick out of reading them but, if you do in fact have a chance to offer me some aged insight please do that as well as I am writing this for that purpose. Well...without further ado here we go:

1) So here I stand on the cusp of the big 3-0. Yep, the big 30. I don't know how to feel about it, indifferent I guess? Less invincible than I did 10 years ago? "In charge but not"? I don't know? What advice can you give me for my 30's? As a generality of course, I didn't ask anything specific so, just some general tips would be appreciated.

2) I try to impart to my 20 year old counterparts (10 years my juniors) the importance of investing in an S&P 500 fund for 20+ years in order to retire. Has this been your definition of success? Has this fund been your savior? Your downfall? Didn't do it at all?

3) I have 3 children. Aged 0, 3, and 7 going on 40. They are the highlight of my life, but they are also little shitheads. Do you have any advice for me going forward so that I A) Don't strangle them to death, and B) am not the helicopter parent that I perceive myself to be and that will set them up for success?

4) I haven't lost a parent yet, but all of my grandparents died when I was 16. Cancers, heart attacks, whatever, it hasn't happened in my family. But I know it's the #1 killer. What can I do mentally to prepare for the "big day" when this happens to my family? I'm out of state.

5) So..this is kind of a big one. Fidelity. Infidelity. The longest any male in my family has been with a woman in my family since my great grandfather is about 19 years. Pretty good, I guess, compared to todays numbers. But you figure I've been with my wife for 13 and I'm almost 30. That gives me until 40 to get it in. That' doesn't mean, obviously, that I will just up and cheat on my wife in the next decade, but what is your opinion on the state of relationships, and how can us young'uns handle this new realm of connection and sexuality?

I know a lot of you are give/take +/- 5 years my age, and that makes us similar as much as different in the big scheme of things, so I was just curious what the old guys could teach us before they go and meet the maker. Cheers to old's and boomer and what not, 🙂
 
WTF 50? i thouoght you were a old fuck like Boomer or dirig or such.

damn. you are younger then me? fuck.


as for the kids? enjoy them at this age. they grow up into teens.. fuck that.
 
Those of us over 50 know the answers to all of those questions. However, we are not telling some 30 year-old twat. Nobody told us. What makes you special?
 
#4
Who the fuck says you can prepare for anything like that? Who are you kidding? I guess I missed the other posts where you were an immature annoying snot-nosed punk. This post made up for that.
 
Learn as much as possible along the way, to the very end. Always keep an open mind. Enjoy your life to the fullest. Be a good example to your progeny.

Most important of all, live every day as if it is your last, because it very well could be.
 
I don't plan anything I don't exclusively control. Plans are for people that enjoy disappointment. When something happens I react and adapt.
 
Elevenpog said:
Hi Guys.

You all know me, I'm that asshole that nobody wants to admit exists but here I am. I have a question for you 40+'s here on ATOT since there seems to be more than a half dozen. Feel free to leave your troll remarks to this post as I get a kick out of reading them but, if you do in fact have a chance to offer me some aged insight please do that as well as I am writing this for that purpose. Well...without further ado here we go:

1) So here I stand on the cusp of the big 3-0. Yep, the big 30. I don't know how to feel about it, indifferent I guess? Less invincible than I did 10 years ago? "In charge but not"? I don't know? What advice can you give me for my 30's? As a generality of course, I didn't ask anything specific so, just some general tips would be appreciated.

2) I try to impart to my 20 year old counterparts (10 years my juniors) the importance of investing in an S&P 500 fund for 20+ years in order to retire. Has this been your definition of success? Has this fund been your savior? Your downfall? Didn't do it at all?

3) I have 3 children. Aged 0, 3, and 7 going on 40. They are the highlight of my life, but they are also little shitheads. Do you have any advice for me going forward so that I A) Don't strangle them to death, and B) am not the helicopter parent that I perceive myself to be and that will set them up for success?

4) I haven't lost a parent yet, but all of my grandparents died when I was 16. Cancers, heart attacks, whatever, it hasn't happened in my family. But I know it's the #1 killer. What can I do mentally to prepare for the "big day" when this happens to my family? I'm out of state.

5) So..this is kind of a big one. Fidelity. Infidelity. The longest any male in my family has been with a woman in my family since my great grandfather is about 19 years. Pretty good, I guess, compared to todays numbers. But you figure I've been with my wife for 13 and I'm almost 30. That gives me until 40 to get it in. That' doesn't mean, obviously, that I will just up and cheat on my wife in the next decade, but what is your opinion on the state of relationships, and how can us young'uns handle this new realm of connection and sexuality?

I know a lot of you are give/take +/- 5 years my age, and that makes us similar as much as different in the big scheme of things, so I was just curious what the old guys could teach us before they go and meet the maker. Cheers to old's and boomer and what not, 🙂
Click to expand...

1. Have as much sex as possible because once you hit 40 your drive will decrease...possibly, significantly

2. I'm going to throw something out there that most people might not consider: KIDS. To me, the ability to invest and the return will be based on when you expect you want to have kids. Have them in your 20's and it's difficult to save. Even if you do, most likely it won't be as much as you could without kids. Kids are DAMN EXPENSIVE, as you know. However, you'll get them out of your house sooner and be able to enjoy your retirement and your savings without using it on your kids since they should be well into their career.

Have them in your late 30's/early 40's, you will most likely save more earlier on, but they won't be out of your house until your late 50's/early 60's or beyond. And most likely they will need financial support, which will eat into your savings.

Lastly, whatever you do, don't cash out small plans if you change your job. Just roll it over.

3. Throw out the nonsense you hear on how to raise a kid, most of it uses the assumptions that all kids are the same and behave the same. Instead, understand that each of your kids are different and will be taught differently. Once you can accept that realization, it will be easier in managing them. The trick is finding what works for each. Also, the first kid is the experimental kid 🙂

4. Don't think you can ever "prepare" for it unless you become indifferent to life or you take solice in religion.

5. You got to work on it...constantly. You also need to make sure each of you understands what makes each other happy. You accept those premises and compliment each other through them, or you don't accept them and inevitably one of you will feel unwanted. You're not responsible for her happiness, and vice versa, but if you accept what makes her happy and it's in your power to deliver it, then do it.
 
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