Question for Facebook users in college or older

[Flyback]

While trying out Facebook, I searched for people I went to high school with (mostly friends). Through the "show friends" feature I eventually dragged across most of the people I went to school with.

The thing that kind of stuck out is that many of the bullies are friends with their former victims, they write on each others "walls" etc.

I found it rather odd and surprising. I realize there comes a time when people can "forgive" others, but some of these kids had the crap beaten out of them daily in high school and were humiliated on a constant basis. (Lots of hazing stuff went on at our school, like a violent-style gauntlet where people would stomp others down. They would often pick on some of the smaller guys and destroy them in front of the girls.) I remember seeing some of these guys literally brought to tears during high school at the hands of their Facebook "buddies"

Do you find the same thing with people you went to high school with?

 

[Hyperlite]

meh....once you get to college, most of the sh!t that happened in HS falls away for the most part...

 

[Jeff7]

I shall have to investigate....
Never thought to look up the myriad of people who were nothing but disrespectful to me.

Possibly because I can hardly remember anyone's names anymore. Wow. Memories of high school are just not there.

 

[Leros]

I never experienced bullies in school. There were fights but no bullying.

 

[UNCjigga]

You tend to forget about bullies and other stupid HS shyte once you start getting laid in college.

 

[Flyback]

Originally posted by: Hyperlite
meh....once you get to college, most of the sh!t that happened in HS falls away for the most part...

I realize that most successful people don't dwell on high school and don't look back, but that isn't what surprises me. I could understand if they never gave a **** about it afterwards and moved on with life (like most people). I just don't understand how they could buddy up with people who made them cry and caused them so much problems during high school. Some of these guys had four years of daily torment.

People don't really change that much either. If the bullies were total douchebags at age 17/18, it's likely that they are the same today.

Not looking back, moving forward and forgetting high school is one thing. The friends part is what really surprises me.

 

[yllus]

Everyone in my high school got along pretty good after grade 10. We all realized that the bully thing was idiotic, childish and really just not worth the effort.

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: yllus
Everyone in my high school got along pretty good after grade 10. We all realized that the bully thing was idiotic, childish and really just not worth the effort.

 

[BigJ]

Originally posted by: Flyback

Not looking back, moving forward and forgetting high school is one thing. The friends part is what really surprises me.

People will friend anybody they've ever associated with on Facebook. It's the "cool" thing to do. Especially with freshmen, they'll friend anybody at their new college.

 

[irishScott]

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: yllus
Everyone in my high school got along pretty good after grade 10. We all realized that the bully thing was idiotic, childish and really just not worth the effort.

 

[Compton]

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

 

[Brainonska511]

I don't bother stalking people on Facebook. If I wasn't decent friends with them in HS/now, then I don't bother hunting them down on Facebook. If they hunt me down, then I may consider adding them as a "friend."

 

[Mrvile]

A lot of it has to do with the fact that, like Myspace, Facebook basically promotes people to be friends with everyone they know. Many people are friends with others that they don't even talk to in real life. It's just Facebook...so take most of what you see with a grain of salt.

 

[Leros]

Originally posted by: Brainonska511
I don't bother stalking people on Facebook. If I wasn't decent friends with them in HS/now, then I don't bother hunting them down on Facebook. If they hunt me down, then I may consider adding them as a "friend."

It is kind of weird when an ex-girlfriend friends you and then starts sending you drunken messages.

 

[AznAnarchy99]

Originally posted by: irishScott

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: yllus
Everyone in my high school got along pretty good after grade 10. We all realized that the bully thing was idiotic, childish and really just not worth the effort.

Yup same with mine, except the fact that people started joining gangs and rivaled other crews.

 

[2Xtreme21]

Most high school "bullies" were too stupid to make it to college. Every time I run into one checking me out at KMart or making me fries at Wendys I can't help but chuckle. Out loud.

 

[thirtythree]

Haven't noticed this with my classmates. But I don't remember any bullies really. (I mean, nothing more than teasing)

 

[Lazy8s]

Yeah I find it weird. I mean sure when you get to college you "grow up and "move on" but that doesn't mean I'm going to friend people I hated in highschool. The difference is I grew up and moved on. I decline the friend invite and then forget they ever existed; it's called moving on. Telling someone it's alright that they slept with your g/f or something isn't adult or growing up. It's not cool they did it no matter how young you were. If I got their sister pregnant they would still hate me. They just would be adult enough to learn to ignore me.

I think what ti really shows is that people that "hated" eachother in HS never really hated eachother in the first place. Somehow (I know it's weird) but I think the victims need the bullies on a certain level. If they didn't they would take care of the problem via a teacher or going a diff route to class or something. I found my senior year that if I just walked up to someone I didn't get along with and said hey and asked them how they were doing we got along well and had no more problems. There are some people I will never reconcile with because they aren't sorry and they won't ever be. Why should I just overlook that and act like sh!t never happened?

 

[chusteczka]

The two bullies that made the mistake of picking on me in high school both passed on within two years after graduation . . . seriously. It was not my doing though.

Originally posted by: Flyback
... I just don't understand how they could buddy up with people who made them cry and caused them so much problems during high school. ... The friends part is what really surprises me.

The victims feel they have grown up and are now accepted by the "cool" kids whereas the bully is relieving his guilt.

 

[neutralizer]

I didn't really get bullied in high school, so no.

 

[MegaVovaN]

Stockholm syndrome

 

[alimoalem]

i don't usually say this so excuse the "ignorant" post but anyone that was bullied in high school is a i love you (not in the literal sense). anyone that dwells on the past and makes friends with the bullies or notices people making friends with their former bullies should make better use of their time

 

[clickynext]

Once you get out of high school everyone (well, almost everyone) realizes that none of it had any significance at all. Plus the fact that most of the nerds who got bullied are now in a high academic institution or making a lot of money.

 

[JS80]

I always thought HS bullies were Hollywood invented caricatures only shown in movies

 

[davestar]

Originally posted by: JS80
I always thought HS bullies were Hollywood invented caricatures only shown in movies

ha, was about to make this exact comment.