Question for atheists that grew up in Christian households

[Malak]

My point is that regardless of whether Jesus taught it, the concept itself does not require any belief in Jesus/God/Christianity/Foo in order to take to heart and follow. It's a very basic concept of fairness, and most non-sociopathic people have it to some degree (some people deliberately go against it in pursuit of various forms of gratification, however).

I don't disagree necessarily, but I have yet to meet anyone that does take absolute love to heart that didn't believe in God, and even belief in God certainly doesn't pre-qualify you for taking absolute love to heart.

 

[Malak]

Much of the bible is about maintaining strict order and everything is punishable by death.

Much of the bible is a history of the world and in particular the Jews who eventually killed Jesus because of what he preached. So... what you are saying is not really applicable. What God does/says and what the Jews wrote that he did/said are two different things. People tend to assume both must be right, and therefore a contradiction exists and everything is wrong. A paradox.

 

[Kadarin]

I don't disagree necessarily, but I have yet to meet anyone that does take absolute love to heart that didn't believe in God, and even belief in God certainly doesn't pre-qualify you for taking absolute love to heart.

What does "take absolute love to heart" (whatever that means) have to do with an innate desire to be treated fairly (the Golden Rule)?

 

[zerocool84]

Much of the bible is a history of the world and in particular the Jews who eventually killed Jesus because of what he preached. So... what you are saying is not really applicable. What God does/says and what the Jews wrote that he did/said are two different things. People tend to assume both must be right, and therefore a contradiction exists and everything is wrong. A paradox.

"God" and Jesus are one in the same according to Christianity. Christians themselves are the ones that say they are, Jesus is just "God" in another form.

 

[BTA]

My parents were never very religious (didn't go or take me to church but a couple times). I went myself quite a few times when I was younger, because my best friend growing up was a pastor's son. I didn't really buy into any of it, and it sort of creeped me out at times. I was mostly there for the social activities for us kids. It was sort of funny, I stopped getting invited to the prayer sessions and bible studies after a couple times of asking too many questions instead of blindly believing what they told me.

Now that I'm older, I am of the opinion that it is simply for crazy or stupid people (or both). My parents know and don't care...I think they are sort of christian. To the extent that most Americans consider themselves christians...which is not very.

 

[Kadarin]

"God" and Jesus are one in the same according to Christianity. Christians themselves are the ones that say they are, Jesus is just "God" in another form.

And it's only that way because they said it was that way. Those who disagreed back in the Middle Ages were branded heretics and were exterminated.

 

[LumbergTech]

don't waste your time telling them
some people just can't handle it

my girlfriends mother brings it up every once in a while about how she is worried about how we view the world etc, but i've learned that its pointless and to just let it go

some people need religion to make themselves feel better and others feel oppressed by it so its just a matter of personal preference

they may seem receptive at first but eventually it will come back to bite you a lot of the time

 

[ShawnD1]

don't waste your time telling them
some people just can't handle it

my girlfriends mother brings it up every once in a while about how she is worried about how we view the world etc, but i've learned that its pointless and to just let it go

What's fucked is that Poe's Law is 100% true for some of these people. Things said by my gf's parents are a lot more hardcore than parody statements made by me.

 

[sandorski]

don't waste your time telling them
some people just can't handle it

my girlfriends mother brings it up every once in a while about how she is worried about how we view the world etc, but i've learned that its pointless and to just let it go

some people need religion to make themselves feel better and others feel oppressed by it so its just a matter of personal preference

they may seem receptive at first but eventually it will come back to bite you a lot of the time

This. I just nod, smile, and change the subject whenever Religion is brought up. Amongst family anyway. If I meet someone of a non-Christian religion, I'm usually curious about their beliefs. Not because I'm looking for "God" or some other Spiritual "truth", but because most of my own knowledge of other religions has been tainted by Christian bias.

 

[JackBurton]

You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Just let them do what they want, and you do what you want. Pretty easy.

 

[Dedpuhl]

I was forced to go to church until I was in the 6th grade. I really never bought into it. I told the parents around the 8th grade, and there wasn't an uproar.

My mom prays for me (or so she says). My dad doesn't care.

 

[ichy]

if you don't believe in God, what's the harm of going through the meaningless rituals just to make your family happy and score some free gifts?

Getting married in a church ceremony (at least a Catholic one) is kind of degrading.

 

[ichy]

I haven't had a religion discussion with my parents in years and I don't really feel the need to bring it up. My father is a lapsed Catholic and agnostic/atheist (depending on how you define those terms) and my mother is nominally Protestant but not really practicing. Goes to church on Easter, that sort of thing. I think my father knows that I see eye to eye with him when it comes to religion.

In hindsight I sort of wish I dabbled with going to a non-fundie church when I was in high school. I swear that half the people I know lost their virginity to someone from a church youth group.

 

[WelshBloke]

if you don't believe in God, what's the harm of going through the meaningless rituals just to make your family happy and score some free gifts?

I think its pretty important to have the wedding you and your SO want not the one your parents want.

At some point they need to start treating you as an adult, part of that is respecting the choices you make for your life. you dont have to be a dick about it but you also cant continue to let them make decisions for you.

 

[ShawnD1]

My mom prays for me (or so she says). My dad doesn't care.

Every family in history summed up.

For some reason women seem to care a lot more than men do. Not always, but often.

 

[brandonb]

I grew up in Christian household, and went Athiest around age 15 or so. I told my mom, and she said: "Thanks for letting me know. I am a bit disappointed, but you feel what you feel. I suspect when you get older you may change your mind again."

She was right. Converted back at age 30 ish.

 

[Ryland]

I grew up Catholic and my parents were pissed that I got married in the Episcopal church. My father used to bug me about not going to church but luckily has stopped doing that and I think has learned to not ask questions that he doesn't really want the answers to. I don't particularly like hiding the fact that I don't believe in fairy tales but it seems a small price to pay to keep the peace.

 

[Malak]

What does "take absolute love to heart" (whatever that means) have to do with an innate desire to be treated fairly (the Golden Rule)?

Actually the golden rule is more about treating others fairly. Unconditional love means regardless of what someone does to you, you still love them and treat them correctly. There are few that are willing to do that.

 

[rcpratt]

Every family in history summed up.

For some reason women seem to care a lot more than men do. Not always, but often.

If I had to guess, I'd say that not only does my Dad not care, I'd say he probably doesn't even really believe in god at all. But he goes with my Mom nearly ever Sunday.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

Actually the golden rule is more about treating others fairly.

This might come off strangely and maybe a bit Moonbeam-ish, but I feel it is important to note that the golden rule is not strictly about "fairness" per se, but it is about treating others the way a person feels he himself should be treated. Not everyone necessarily believes that they should be treated "fairly," and hence they do not treat others with fairness.

I do not mean to insinuate that everyone is readily aware of their own attitudes about themselves, however, but rather my intent is to characterize the golden rule as actually descriptive rather than prescriptive. In other words, it's not that you should treat others the way you want to be treated, but that you already do. In simpler terms still: If you want to know how you really feel about yourself, examine the way you treat others. If you want to love others unconditionally, you must first love yourself unconditionally.

 

[actuarial]

Getting married in a church ceremony (at least a Catholic one) is kind of degrading.

One of my buddies got married last summer, and his wedding was Catholic.

The majority of the ceremony was the priest talking about how loving god is more important than loving your spouse, since the love from your spouse COMES from your love of god.

This is not me misinterpreting, on several occasions he came back to god >> spouse. We were all kind of WTF at it.

I've been to other Catholic weddings where this wasn't the case though.

 

[Malak]

This might come off strangely and maybe a bit Moonbeam-ish, but I feel it is important to note that the golden rule is not strictly about "fairness" per se, but it is about treating others the way a person feels he himself should be treated. Not everyone necessarily believes that they should be treated "fairly," and hence they do not treat others with fairness.

You are correct, fair is the wrong word to use. The prescriptive rather than descriptive is a fair assessment of the saying. Not necessarily true or untrue, but a perspective that can be had nonetheless. The problem with both is the application of the definitions. Fair must be defined in context, and so would this saying.

Assuming there is an absolute wrong and right in any given situation, I would say that people should always do the right thing to others in hopes of those same people doing the right thing as well. While defining right and wrong is a tiring exercise, I still think that is how it should be said.

 

[TechAZ]

I grew up in a Catholic household. Church every Sunday, CCD classes, etc. Once I hit high-school I pretty much stopped going to church and CCD because I just didn't enjoy it, it was boring.

I've never been a spiritual/religious person. I never talked about my beliefs, or lack of beliefs with my parents until I was out of high school. My mother (father died shortly after H.S. was over) was not happy with my beliefs, although it wasn't a huge deal.

I am agnostic, I think there is definitely a possibility of some "god", but I don't think about it much. Personally I don't rule it out in my mind as a direct result of nobody on the planet being able to explain how the universe started, and cannot even agree on how many universes there are. Basically, I don't rule out the possibility.

 

[Blackjack200]

One of my buddies got married last summer, and his wedding was Catholic.

The majority of the ceremony was the priest talking about how loving god is more important than loving your spouse, since the love from your spouse COMES from your love of god.

This is not me misinterpreting, on several occasions he came back to god >> spouse. We were all kind of WTF at it.

I've been to other Catholic weddings where this wasn't the case though.

heh, one of my friends go married to an Irish Catholic with a very traditional family. They finally pissed him off enough that he demanded a Rabbi participate in the ceremony. It was fucking hysterical.

 

[Atreus21]

I grew up in a Catholic household, and remain Catholic.