Question for anyone who has or had a toddler

[TomC25]

At what age did you start to punish your child for things and how did you handle it?

I have a daughter who just turned 2. Marissa Paige. She is starting to test us.

I wanted to hear how people all around have handled a toddler.

 

[Isla]

bwahahahaha!

I have three children, and the youngest is going on 20 months.

They have all been totally different.

The oldest was sooooo easy.... never really had to spank her or anything. She's become a bit uppity now that she is 13, but she still really isn't much of a problem.

The middle child tested us from the beginning and continues to test us daily. It's been a lot of trial and error with her... and yes, she has been spanked from time to time since she was about 2. She did this charming thing with fecal smearing for a while and it was very hard to just say "no no, just go stand in time out!". However, she IS a special case and quite frankly all my disciplining/teaching of her has been totally 'learn as I go'.

The baby is another easy one... I have been telling him "No no" and he tells me "no no!" right back! What I do when he is really being a culito head is stick him in his crib for a few minutes. I haven't spanked him yet and hope to avoid spanking him in general... I never wanted to spank my middle child but like I said, all kids are different and sometimes for her a swat on the fanny is the only thing that gets her attention. She's a pistol!

Anyway, I recommend the "removing the offender from society" technique at first. Explain what you are doing in words she understands and then stick her in her crib for 5 minutes. It's like a first 'time-out"... when she is old enough to understand time out (which will be soon), you can stick her in the corner.

Just my .02.... remember, every child is different and will respond differently to various techniques!

I prefer non-violence but an occasional swat on the behind is sometimes effective.

edit: Actually, she might be ready for time out in the corner now.... try it. I like "Your Baby and Child" by Penelope Leach, you might want to check it out next time you are in a bookstore.

 

[TomC25]

Thanks for the info Isla

She started walking at 8.5 months and is a child that rarely sits still. We try to read to her or sit and teach a song with motions and she will play along for about a minute but then want to jump around or climb on something.

Whenever we tell her NO to something and let her know she will get an owie, she tries it anyway. She has learned to talk enough that she will tell you sentences and you can pretty much understand her. We have tried explaining that climbing on things and jumping off things will hurt her, but she is a daredevil. We smack her hand a few times and she laughs at us and thinks we are playing. We don't want to hurt her or leave any marks on her.

 

[gittyup]

Start Now...We use time outs. She serves time-outs in her crib for the length in minutes equal to her age..

 

[TomC25]

She climbed out of her crib about 6 months ago. She has been using a toddler bed and we can't keep her in that for a time out. She will not sit still on a chair or in a corner without us holding her down.

 

[Isla]

Uh-oh... she sounds a little like my middle child but perhaps less intense. Chances are Miss Marissa is very bright so don't let her get bored!

My 'challenging' child started walking at 9 months and she is really an amazing person, but she is VERY sensitive to certain food additives.

If your daughter is really starting to wear you out, consider removing packaged foods from her diet. Some kids are more sensitive than others... if my daughter gets MSG you would think she had ingested crack cocaine!

The reason why I bring this up is that IF she does not respond to the time-out and/or 'little pow pow' strategies, she might have a food allergy or senstivity that is making it hard for her to control herself. More and more kids have these problems... I guess it is the scourge of modern society.

I have had to really work with my Miss Charity to teach her self-control and to feed her a diet that doesn't wig her out too much. I'll tell you this much.... you can always tell the difference when she has had the wrong things to eat! I can't get mad at her, but she is old enough for me to tell her to get some self-control or face the consequences (early bedtime, no Game Boy).

Well, good luck to you. I'm sure you will do fine, just be sure to take everything (including possible food sensitivities) into consideration.

 

[Isla]

LOL, reading your last post she really sounds like you are getting a run for your money!

Seriously, consider buying her snacks from the health food store that are preservative free, etc.

Sometimes kids will only want to eat one kind of food and that is usually the thing that they are allergic or sensitive to.

Anyway, I really hope you do not have the same sort of situation that I do, but if you find yourself pulling your hair out and crying while she is laughing at you, feel free to PM me and I will recommend some books that can help you improve her behavior through diet.

Peace!

 

[TomC25]

Again thanks a lot Isla

I will work on feeding her all home cooked foods and see if she is more cooperative. There are times when she goes to see her Grandmother for a few days and when she comes back she is more calm and loving. We though that was the magic of Grandmothers, but maybe it is that she eats all home cooked food when she stays there.