question about male/female physical contact ... what do you think about?

[Jfur]

I think about it with *anyone* I may be touching. Am I too close? Am I inadvertently giving them the wrong message? Usually if it's just brushing I don't care too much. If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

copyright Jfur 2002

 

[Moonbeam]

I don't like to risk an infected tentacle.

 

[Maverick2002]

If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

Damn, you do all that?

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: Maverick2002

If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

Damn, you do all that?

in about 1/10 of a second -- then I go back to whatever I was doing. Same if a woman touches me (except in that case I'm just hoping it wasn't intentional)

 

[SerraYX]

Originally posted by: Jfur
I think about it with *anyone* I may be touching. Am I too close? Am I inadvertently giving them the wrong message? Usually if it's just brushing I don't care too much. If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

copyright Jfur 2002

...and that's why casual conversation with girls is so difficult. Every conversation initiation becomes "HE IS FLIRTING WITH ME!!!!" At least the college girls here anyway..

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: SerraYX

Originally posted by: Jfur
I think about it with *anyone* I may be touching. Am I too close? Am I inadvertently giving them the wrong message? Usually if it's just brushing I don't care too much. If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

copyright Jfur 2002

...and that's why casual conversation with girls is so difficult. Every conversation initiation becomes "HE IS FLIRTING WITH ME!!!!" At least the college girls here anyway..

actually, girls are more likely to talk with guys as friends-- I find most guys won't bother unless they think they're getting something. or maybe each gender sees the other that way!

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: SerraYX

Originally posted by: Jfur
I think about it with *anyone* I may be touching. Am I too close? Am I inadvertently giving them the wrong message? Usually if it's just brushing I don't care too much. If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

copyright Jfur 2002

...and that's why casual conversation with girls is so difficult. Every conversation initiation becomes "HE IS FLIRTING WITH ME!!!!" At least the college girls here anyway..

actually, girls are more likely to talk with guys as friends-- I find most guys won't bother unless they think they're getting something. or maybe each gender sees the other that way!

There's nothing wrong with starting out as friends, so I say it's a good deal. My now-fiance and I were only friends for a whole year before we started to date. 5 years later, we're engaged. I broke the ice by asking her for some notes I had missed and we met at the library.

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: SerraYX

Originally posted by: Jfur
I think about it with *anyone* I may be touching. Am I too close? Am I inadvertently giving them the wrong message? Usually if it's just brushing I don't care too much. If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

copyright Jfur 2002

...and that's why casual conversation with girls is so difficult. Every conversation initiation becomes "HE IS FLIRTING WITH ME!!!!" At least the college girls here anyway..

actually, girls are more likely to talk with guys as friends-- I find most guys won't bother unless they think they're getting something. or maybe each gender sees the other that way!

There's nothing wrong with starting out as friends, so I say it's a good deal. My now-fiance and I were only friends for a whole year before we started to date. 5 years later, we're engaged.

I can't tell you how many times when a woman meets a guy he is really friendly and talkative UNTIL the precise moment where you mention you are married/seeing someone and he literally changes tone and or leaves and acts distant forevermore. i think many men think if a woman is talking to them it means she wants them, although we may just be chatting about the weather or some other non-orgasmic thing. That's why i always observed how men I know treat other women, e.g. DO they have actual female friends? To me that is a great sign that he probably repsects women enough to hang out with them even if there is no chance of mating

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: SerraYX

Originally posted by: Jfur
I think about it with *anyone* I may be touching. Am I too close? Am I inadvertently giving them the wrong message? Usually if it's just brushing I don't care too much. If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

copyright Jfur 2002

...and that's why casual conversation with girls is so difficult. Every conversation initiation becomes "HE IS FLIRTING WITH ME!!!!" At least the college girls here anyway..

actually, girls are more likely to talk with guys as friends-- I find most guys won't bother unless they think they're getting something. or maybe each gender sees the other that way!

There's nothing wrong with starting out as friends, so I say it's a good deal. My now-fiance and I were only friends for a whole year before we started to date. 5 years later, we're engaged.

I can't tell you how many times when a woman meets a guy he is really friendly and talkative UNTIL the precise moment where you mention you are married/seeing someone and he literally changes tone and or leaves and acts distant forevermore. i think many men think if a woman is talking to them it means she wants them, although we may just be chatting about the weather or some other non-orgasmic thing. That's why i always observed how men I know treat other women, e.g. DO they have actual female friends? To me that is a great sign that he probably repsects women enough to hang out with them even if there is no chance of mating

You know, you hit it on a good point. I'm not going to speak for everyone, but I do notice guys do try and meet girls as friends if they're already with someone they truly want to be with. It's certainly the case with me. If they haven't already found someone, they don't want to "waste time" with the no-potential ones. On the flip-side, I've also noticed that girls warm up to guys more if they (the girl) know the guy is already taken. I guess they either feel more comfortable with being around the guy then, or they're just trying to "get what they can't have".

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: SerraYX

Originally posted by: Jfur
I think about it with *anyone* I may be touching. Am I too close? Am I inadvertently giving them the wrong message? Usually if it's just brushing I don't care too much. If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

copyright Jfur 2002

...and that's why casual conversation with girls is so difficult. Every conversation initiation becomes "HE IS FLIRTING WITH ME!!!!" At least the college girls here anyway..

actually, girls are more likely to talk with guys as friends-- I find most guys won't bother unless they think they're getting something. or maybe each gender sees the other that way!

There's nothing wrong with starting out as friends, so I say it's a good deal. My now-fiance and I were only friends for a whole year before we started to date. 5 years later, we're engaged.

I can't tell you how many times when a woman meets a guy he is really friendly and talkative UNTIL the precise moment where you mention you are married/seeing someone and he literally changes tone and or leaves and acts distant forevermore. i think many men think if a woman is talking to them it means she wants them, although we may just be chatting about the weather or some other non-orgasmic thing. That's why i always observed how men I know treat other women, e.g. DO they have actual female friends? To me that is a great sign that he probably repsects women enough to hang out with them even if there is no chance of mating

You know, you hit it on a good point. Guys do try and meet girls as friends if they're already with someone they truly want to be with. If they haven't already found someone, they don't want to "waste time" with the no-potential ones. On the flip-side, I've noticed that girls warm up to guys more if they (the girl) knows the guy is already taken. I guess they either feel more comfortable with being around the guy then, or they're just trying to "get what they can't have".

Well I have many male friends and when I was single 99% of the time that I was talking to a man it was with a desire to be in a platonic relationship. It can be awkward though if there is uncertainty about either person's intent, so I always wore a (then fake) wedding ring to signal that I was not available. I think some people simply cannot imagine the opposite sex as anything but potential mates. I also think those people -- be they male or female -- make the WORST mates. It's like they cannot see you as a complete person outside of your potential for sex and that does not indicate respect or a lasting relationship.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: SerraYX

Originally posted by: Jfur
I think about it with *anyone* I may be touching. Am I too close? Am I inadvertently giving them the wrong message? Usually if it's just brushing I don't care too much. If they put there arm there I tihnk, "oh, man, I really hope he didn't put it there on purpose because he's to wimpy to make a move" -- or -- "I really hope he's not planning to make a move." Were I to desire such contact I would genty press back to show I was not weirded out or trying to get away. And then I would lean over and say something unrelated to gague his intent by the look on his face.

copyright Jfur 2002

...and that's why casual conversation with girls is so difficult. Every conversation initiation becomes "HE IS FLIRTING WITH ME!!!!" At least the college girls here anyway..

actually, girls are more likely to talk with guys as friends-- I find most guys won't bother unless they think they're getting something. or maybe each gender sees the other that way!

There's nothing wrong with starting out as friends, so I say it's a good deal. My now-fiance and I were only friends for a whole year before we started to date. 5 years later, we're engaged.

I can't tell you how many times when a woman meets a guy he is really friendly and talkative UNTIL the precise moment where you mention you are married/seeing someone and he literally changes tone and or leaves and acts distant forevermore. i think many men think if a woman is talking to them it means she wants them, although we may just be chatting about the weather or some other non-orgasmic thing. That's why i always observed how men I know treat other women, e.g. DO they have actual female friends? To me that is a great sign that he probably repsects women enough to hang out with them even if there is no chance of mating

You know, you hit it on a good point. Guys do try and meet girls as friends if they're already with someone they truly want to be with. If they haven't already found someone, they don't want to "waste time" with the no-potential ones. On the flip-side, I've noticed that girls warm up to guys more if they (the girl) knows the guy is already taken. I guess they either feel more comfortable with being around the guy then, or they're just trying to "get what they can't have".

Well I have many male friends and when I was single 99% of the time that I was talking to a man it was with a desire to be in a platonic relationship. It can be awkward though if there is uncertainty about either person's intent, so I always wore a (then fake) wedding ring to signal that I was not available. I think some people simply cannot imagine the opposite sex as anything but potential mates. I also think those people -- be they male or female -- make the WORST mates. It's like they cannot see you as a complete person outside of your potential for sex and that does not indicate respect or a lasting relationship.

Yes, they'll always be looking, even when they've "got you". They ARE the worst mates.