- Jul 15, 2003
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Somehow I recently got into this conversation and it got me thinking.
I understand how members of both genders can feel threatened if their significant other gets emotionally attached to someone else, even if its in a friendly way.
Heck, I even understand how people can feel threatened if their boy/girlfriend just looks too long at someone else. Visual stimulation is important to sexuality and its easy to stray mentally.
But I never really applied this logic to intellectual stimulation. Having an intelligent conversation with a person and feeling connected to them in that manner. Would it cause a person to feel threatened in the sense of the relationship?
I posed this question to some lady friends of mine and got some interesting responses. Heather said that she would not have a problem with it. She said she understood that her man was intelligent and had an open mind and couldnt grow intellectually with just one person. He would have to seek mental stimulation from other people and it stands to reason that some of them would eventually be women.
Danielle said that she probably would feel threatened. She said that its much more important for women to have an intellectual connection to a guy and if some girl was doing that she would likely form an emotional connection too. That would be threatening to her.
My question to the ladies was: Do you feel threatened if your man somehow manages to form this connection with another woman?
And since there are a lot more men here than women I have to ask the reverse question: Do you guys worry about the same thing? A mental connection that may somehow become emotional or romantic.
I think with all the other relationship threads I've read here I have a pretty good bead on what the different sexes feel about ogling and staring, but the brain side of things seems to not get discussed fully.
As for all the folks who feel like calling "shens", saying that a couple of girls would never talk about such things with a man who wasnt their boyfriend, I call shens on you. You dont talk to girls nearly enough. I happen to know for a fact that most women dont get nearly enough intellectual stimulation (especially from men) and this is exactly the kind of question they like to hear now and again. My problem isnt forming that connection, its the potential for after-effects.
Which I had not even considered until recently. Some of the best conversations I've had were with the married Coffee Girls at my local cafe.
Then I've met some women that were not at all interested in talking to me or any other guys for that matter. This used to make me wonder. "Is she worried it might be like mental cheating? Does she not want to take the risk of forming that connection?"
Discuss.
SUB QUESTION: Do you guys feel the need to be intellectually stimulated by a woman on a regular basis, or can you do without it?
EDIT: I will be asleep until I go to work in another 6 hours. Will porbably check this thread for clarifying questions on my first break.
I understand how members of both genders can feel threatened if their significant other gets emotionally attached to someone else, even if its in a friendly way.
Heck, I even understand how people can feel threatened if their boy/girlfriend just looks too long at someone else. Visual stimulation is important to sexuality and its easy to stray mentally.
But I never really applied this logic to intellectual stimulation. Having an intelligent conversation with a person and feeling connected to them in that manner. Would it cause a person to feel threatened in the sense of the relationship?
I posed this question to some lady friends of mine and got some interesting responses. Heather said that she would not have a problem with it. She said she understood that her man was intelligent and had an open mind and couldnt grow intellectually with just one person. He would have to seek mental stimulation from other people and it stands to reason that some of them would eventually be women.
Danielle said that she probably would feel threatened. She said that its much more important for women to have an intellectual connection to a guy and if some girl was doing that she would likely form an emotional connection too. That would be threatening to her.
My question to the ladies was: Do you feel threatened if your man somehow manages to form this connection with another woman?
And since there are a lot more men here than women I have to ask the reverse question: Do you guys worry about the same thing? A mental connection that may somehow become emotional or romantic.
I think with all the other relationship threads I've read here I have a pretty good bead on what the different sexes feel about ogling and staring, but the brain side of things seems to not get discussed fully.
As for all the folks who feel like calling "shens", saying that a couple of girls would never talk about such things with a man who wasnt their boyfriend, I call shens on you. You dont talk to girls nearly enough. I happen to know for a fact that most women dont get nearly enough intellectual stimulation (especially from men) and this is exactly the kind of question they like to hear now and again. My problem isnt forming that connection, its the potential for after-effects.
Which I had not even considered until recently. Some of the best conversations I've had were with the married Coffee Girls at my local cafe.
Then I've met some women that were not at all interested in talking to me or any other guys for that matter. This used to make me wonder. "Is she worried it might be like mental cheating? Does she not want to take the risk of forming that connection?"
Discuss.
SUB QUESTION: Do you guys feel the need to be intellectually stimulated by a woman on a regular basis, or can you do without it?
EDIT: I will be asleep until I go to work in another 6 hours. Will porbably check this thread for clarifying questions on my first break.
.
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