Quarterly Optimization Meeting

InflatableBuddha

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2007
7,416
1
0
This afternoon, my boss went around to each of the members on the documentation team and informed us that he would be sending a meeting invite for a critical "quarterly optimization meeting" tomorrow morning :hmm:.

No other details, except that we absolutely MUST attend. We're currently undergoing performance reviews, and I'm supposed to be getting a slight raise, but I also know that sales figures have been less than stellar, and the budget is not exactly limitless.

We've never had one of these types of meetings in the almost 2 years I've worked this job, but I have a bad feeling that one or more of us may be looking at either no raise, paycuts, or worst case - layoffs :(.

Something about the wording just rubs me the wrong way, like a sandpaper handjob.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow, and my job search will continue, just in case.

Update:

Turns out, I still have a job. And I'll still be getting a raise (as will my team members) :awe:.

They're cutting travel, other expenses, and halting new hirings as cost-saving measures.

They're also introducing "voluntary sabbatical". We can take up to 4 weeks off unpaid (but with benefits) at any point between now and the end of the year. I may take advantage, but I'll need to wait until next week to find out what my raise is (as the increased salary may be offset by the time I take off unpaid).
 
Last edited:

Exterous

Super Moderator
Jun 20, 2006
20,616
3,840
126
It's been my experience the fancier, more buzzword riddled the name the more BS/bad news involved. Good luck tomorrow!
 

MagnusTheBrewer

IN MEMORIAM
Jun 19, 2004
24,122
1,594
126
Circle the wagons! Quarterly bonuses are in jeopardy, a fate worse than death. The meeting's just another chance for management to rain on the people who actually keep the place going.
 

InflatableBuddha

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2007
7,416
1
0
Quarterly bonuses? :D Hell, annual bonuses were already done away with for almost everyone (I got a miniscule one :().

I agree with the sentiment though - if they actually took our documentation team seriously, instead of pouring more money into support and bitching about how customers suck with using the software and are always calling into support, maybe we'd save a bit of cash. Then we wouldn't be in such a predicament :mad:.

15 minutes until the meeting of doom...

Will post updates.
 

D1gger

Diamond Member
Oct 3, 2004
5,411
2
76
Quarterly bonuses? :D Hell, annual bonuses were already done away with for almost everyone (I got a miniscule one :().

I agree with the sentiment though - if they actually took our documentation team seriously, instead of pouring more money into support and bitching about how customers suck with using the software and are always calling into support, maybe we'd save a bit of cash. Then we wouldn't be in such a predicament :mad:.

15 minutes until the meeting of doom...

Will post updates.

But nobody ever RTFM, so improved documentation doesn't reduce support calls. Everyone knows this.
 

lsv

Golden Member
Dec 18, 2009
1,610
0
71
If you're good at your job none of that matters and you wouldn't think twice about posting this dribble.
 

InflatableBuddha

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2007
7,416
1
0
But nobody ever RTFM, so improved documentation doesn't reduce support calls. Everyone knows this.

Sadly, for most products and companies, this is true. But for the ones that produce really great documentation, it's a boon to customers and the company's bottom line.
 

AyashiKaibutsu

Diamond Member
Jan 24, 2004
9,306
4
81
But nobody ever RTFM, so improved documentation doesn't reduce support calls. Everyone knows this.

For some reason I thought he was talking about requirements/design documents. Guess my heads in the wrong place.

Op should go in guns blazing. Might as well go out in style.
 

InflatableBuddha

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2007
7,416
1
0
If you're good at your job none of that matters and you wouldn't think twice about posting this dribble.

I am good at my job. I was recognized with a small bonus even when most people didn't get one. But I'm still at risk if the company is at risk.

Optimization = cost cutting. Cost cutting = layoffs, no raises, pay cuts, etc.

Turns out, I still have a job. And I'll still be getting a raise (as will my team members) :awe:.

They're cutting travel, other expenses, and halting new hirings as cost-saving measures.

They're also introducing "voluntary sabbatical". We can take up to 4 weeks off unpaid (but with benefits) at any point between now and the end of the year. I may take advantage, but I'll need to wait until next week to find out what my raise is (as the increased salary may be offset by the time I take off unpaid).
 

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,920
2,162
126
"We need to optimize and streamline the documentation creation workflow process to enhance our next generation customer fulfillment creative process."

Great! What's all this mean to me?

You're fired.

It could mean "No more coffee, water cooler, magazines, or lights in the lunch room" too.
 

Homerboy

Lifer
Mar 1, 2000
30,890
5,001
126
"we need to optimize and streamline the documentation creation workflow process to enhance our next generation customer fulfillment creative process."

great! What's all this mean to me?

You're fired.

bullshit bingo!!!
 

Homerboy

Lifer
Mar 1, 2000
30,890
5,001
126
As for the OP, I suggest finding a cardbox for your stuff before the meeting starts.
 

InflatableBuddha

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2007
7,416
1
0