- Oct 30, 2000
- 14,665
- 440
- 126
I'm feeling the elation right now of completely making a fool of someone. To put this up front, I am a nice guy and gave every opportunity I could possibly think of to let this guy save face. However, no matter what you try to do some people just need to be put down and put down hard when a lesson gets learned. So here's my story.
I haven't visited the forums in a bit. A couple of months ago I lost my job as a programmer and to make ends meet I started working again at a retail store. Doesn't matter which but it's one with commission so I'm almost making as much as I was before. Enough to live on and pay the bills for now if little else is left for frivolous stuff like fun. Anyhow, where I work a guy comes in at night to clean the place. I guess you can call him a janitor but he says he owns a "cleaning service" and really it's either him or one if his "employees? that comes in for an hour before the end of the night and cleans the place up. Sweeps, mops, takes out the trash and wipes down the restrooms. Nothing major. But he says he does this and makes bank. Whatever.
Now, I'm not trying to be stereotypical here.. but this guy is as stereotypical as you can get so on with the description of this fellow. He's a black man, and I'm not pulling the racist card out because we've actually been friends so far joking around at night and talking about women, who well brags too much. Talks about his Cadillac CTS, his bling, his homies, and whatnot. I let that kind of talk slide because I like to think I can get along with anyone no matter how they act. So we do. I've never called him out despite never seeing any of his "bling." Not that I believed a word he said it's just not in me to do so. However, last night he had the nerve to call me out. I was helping a friend who works at the store with his computer laptop he brought in for a few minutes after we all clocked out and closed for the night. He comes up to us and says, "Damn, it would be a couple of computer nerds who would hang around here after they already closed."
A which point, I made the mistake of replying, "Yah, I may be a computer nerd but it allows me to get nice things like this watch." At which point I show him my Versace watch. An expensive one I might add.
He looks at the watch and within 5 seconds pronounces, "That's not real."
"What makes you think my watch isn't real?"
"Because it has scratches on it."
"Are you talking about the scratches on the metal band of my watch?"
"Yah, and plus that ugly thing doesn't even look expensive."
I will point out, that my Versace watch is a stainless steel watch that is Swiss-made. It has a sapphire crystal which doesn't get scratched very easily but the metal can and has light scratches on it. Nothing that can't be buffed out by a professional jeweler for cheap. The point is, at this comment I was astounded. This "janitor" was trying to claim he was a watch authority and his reasoning behind denouncing my watch after a few seconds of visual inspection was because the band had some scratches on it? I was about to just let it slide... I shrugged my shoulders and turned back to my friend with the computer problems when the janitor opened his mouth again...
"I'm sure you might find some stupid young girls you can impress with that fake thing but if you saw my watch you'd know it was real and worth some dough."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because it has bling and there isn't a scratch on it."
"That's because it's either new or you don't wear it much. Real watches get scratched."
"Don't go talking sh!t about what you don't know and it's obvious you don't know jack about watches."
At this point since he was getting his voice loud a few of the other employees that haven't left yet and the manager comes wandering over to see what the commotion is all about.
"Trust me, your watch is not indestructible it can be scratched." was my reply.
"Hell NO it can't be scratch muthafuka. Sh!t I can rub that thing over the pavement, drag it along a brick wall and there isn't a mark on it. I've had it for 7 years and it looks brand new like the day I bought it."
Usually, I'd try to let it go, but since he seemed to be getting into the spirit of insulting my intelligence as the janitor in front of a small crowd of employees at the store. I figured I might as well shut him up because arguing about it wasn't going to do any good. I had nothing to gain at this point by proving my watch was real. However, maybe it's manly ego but I don't like my intelligence insulted by a janitor trying to front. Maybe it was the fact I've been a bit disgruntled by customers yesterday, but for whatever reason I decided to put this janitor to the "test." Luckily, I sold off my old car the day before and hadn't deposited the money yet in my bank. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet.
"Here's a nice, crisp, brand new $100 bill in my hand that says I can scratch the crap out of your watch." I said this while flashing one of the bills I got for selling my old car.
"Muthafuka, you don't want to do that because I'm going to end up taking that $100 and you are going to hate me for it."
"Nope, I know for a fact I can put a scratch on any watch you bring me and I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is."
At this point, I can almost see the gears grinding in his head and his eyes sparkling with dollar signs. He hasn't yet realized the clever trap I had devised in a flash for him.
"Why stop at $100 then if you are putting your money where your mouth is? I KNOW my watch can't be scratched but I can sure use an extra $500 in my pocket."
"$500? Sure no problem." I said as I pulled four more $100 bills from my wallet to show him.
At this point he was literally grinning from ear to ear! He was giggling while reaching into his pocket to dig out a cell phone. He called his girl saying they are going out tomorrow night since he's going to have an extra $500 to spend! At this point, my fellow employees are looking almost completely dumbstruck as to the situation that just unfolded. Most had a worried look for me, because not many of them like the janitor fellow at all and didn't want to see me lose money to him. I just calmly kept every emotion I could off my face. I had a plan.
Well, yesterday went away, and today arrived.
I brought along something I was going to use to "scratch" his precious watch with. Now, truth be told, I knew exactly what was going to happen, but I had a heart so decided I was going to give him every out I could possibly think of. Not that I would mind being $500 richer, it's just I didn't really have it in me to teach someone that harsh a lesson. Truthfully I didn't think he would remember or even bring the watch. Or perhaps have a change of mind himself and think better of his actions. Or perhaps realize the stupidity of the bet and that there was no way he was going to win. Seriously? I didn't think there was anyone stupid enough to think any watch was scratch proof.
Well, the day ends and he arrives to clean the place like clockwork. He's on the cell phone talking loudly with someone again when he spots me hurries over to my location. He comes up with a big grin on his face and I knew right then and there that he really was that dumb. It was like watching a moth fly to the flame.
"You got my $500?"
"I brought $500 but it's not going anywhere, did you bring $500?"
"Why should I? I'm not going to lose. Here, let me show you by warming the watch up to show you."
At this point he takes a watch that he's never worn before off his wrist and starts rubbing it on the floor.
"See, not a scratch on it."
"The floor isn't what I had in mind to use to scratch your watch with. I have something else in my locker I need to get out."
"Well, give me a few minutes to do my work and then I'll take my $500 bucks and go party."
"Take all the time you need, but seriously if you insist on betting me you need to put your money where your mouth is and bring $500 to the table to bet with even if you are so sure you are going to walk away with my cash."
"If you are going to play that way I'll go over to the ATM and bring out $500. Not that it's going to make any difference but if makes you feel better about losing your cash it's no sweat to me."
At this point he goes back to talking on his cell phone and heads over to the janitor closet to get his tools to do his job for the night. Since we closed the same workers that were with me last night are here tonight as well. They wander over to me and ask what I was going to do? At this point I reveal my plan to each and every one and see the look of shock spread to their faces. Why they should be shocked I have no idea. They couldn't seriously have believed him over me could they??? I guess they did because that was the expression on all their faces. So I head over to my locker, get out my secret weapon and tuck it into the back of my pants under my shirt.
Finally, after the janitor gets done with cleaning he comes up to me and says, "Okay time to warm this thing up some more for you, I don't want you thinking there was anyway I cheated you out of that cash."
"Do whatever you like, but seriously I'm about to give you some options."
He doesn't bother to look at me as he starts rubbing his watch along the cinderblock wall and the metal edges of a shelf. He asks while rubbing, "What options?"
"One, I've told every single person standing here and watching this event what is about to happen, and how I can guarantee I can put a scratch on your real watch with ease. So in order to save face, I'll let you drop the bet."
At this point his face gets a bit angry as he snaps his head back in my direction and takes his mind off rubbing his watch on inanimate objects.
"Are you trying to get out of our bet muthafuka? I knew you were a pussi, and didn't have it in you. Oh, I'm not letting you out of this bet because I want my $500."
"Seriously, I'm not trying to drop the bet. Just prevent you from being mad when your watch gets scratched because you can't win this bet."
"Oh I'm going to win, and then I'm going to laugh at you for being stupid."
At his last comment I was seriously reaching my limit at keeping my cool, but I still kept calm as I made one last out for him.
"Well, I'm not backing out, but I am going to give you the option of handing over the $500 right now instead of letting you rub your watch over what I got and damaging it."
"Are you a retard??? Don't you see me rubbing this watch all over this crap and nothing is scratching it? There isn't a damn thing you have that would scratch this watch, so there is no way in hell I'm just going to give you $500 first."
I give an exasperated sigh and shake my head. At this point my fellow coworkers start chiming in to him that he should seriously just back away and drop the bet. That there was no way he could win this. I think it only egg'd him on further now that I think about it. Oh well. I finally reach behind my back and pull out my DMT 10" diamond grit sharpening stone. Was it a little unfair of me not tell him what I had in my hand? The expression on his face with that greedy lust in his eyes was enough to spur me on at this point. I hold it up for him to see in plain view what was in my hand. There were no marking on it to proclaim what it was.
"What the hell is that?"
"Oh something, that will put a scratch on that silly watch of yours."
"Let me see it." He says as he snatches it out of my hand.
Now, I'm not sure you, as the reader of this discourse, have ever felt a diamond sharpening stone before. Especially a fine 2000 grit one before. It basically feels fairly smooth to your flesh. Unless you know what it is, there is no way of knowing that it's coated in diamond dust because the human skin can't feel abrasiveness that fine unless it is used on skin in a filing motion long enough to start removing a lot of layers.
"Sh!t son, this thing couldn't scratch the paint off my car, and you somehow think it's going to scratch my watch? Time to teach you a lesson and get my $500."
If only he hadn't said that comment, I was going to let him use the bottom of the metal band.
"If you are so confident, use the crystal face instead muthafuka." I said as I used his own crude language back at him. "It's made of sapphire if it's a real watch isn't it? If it's made of sapphire that means it is even more impossible to scratch then that metal band right?"
"Hell yes it is! You think I'm a cheap a$$ and have some crappy watch like yours? This is $2000 Rado my friend."
At this point he puts the face of the watch to the stone and starts rubbing vigorously against it for a few seconds. He pulls the watch away and lo and behold the face is now completely unreadable. It is gouged like only a diamond sharpening stone could gouge a sapphire.
The sheer look of shock on his face with his jaw dropped and his eyes bulging wide in their sockets would have been payment enough for me. But since he had to push me past my limits of patience I wanted my money.
So here I am, typing this story for your amusement and I have $500 extra in my pocket. Tomorrow is my day off too! Whatever I do tomorrow, it's going to be fun with an extra $500 to spend.
I haven't visited the forums in a bit. A couple of months ago I lost my job as a programmer and to make ends meet I started working again at a retail store. Doesn't matter which but it's one with commission so I'm almost making as much as I was before. Enough to live on and pay the bills for now if little else is left for frivolous stuff like fun. Anyhow, where I work a guy comes in at night to clean the place. I guess you can call him a janitor but he says he owns a "cleaning service" and really it's either him or one if his "employees? that comes in for an hour before the end of the night and cleans the place up. Sweeps, mops, takes out the trash and wipes down the restrooms. Nothing major. But he says he does this and makes bank. Whatever.
Now, I'm not trying to be stereotypical here.. but this guy is as stereotypical as you can get so on with the description of this fellow. He's a black man, and I'm not pulling the racist card out because we've actually been friends so far joking around at night and talking about women, who well brags too much. Talks about his Cadillac CTS, his bling, his homies, and whatnot. I let that kind of talk slide because I like to think I can get along with anyone no matter how they act. So we do. I've never called him out despite never seeing any of his "bling." Not that I believed a word he said it's just not in me to do so. However, last night he had the nerve to call me out. I was helping a friend who works at the store with his computer laptop he brought in for a few minutes after we all clocked out and closed for the night. He comes up to us and says, "Damn, it would be a couple of computer nerds who would hang around here after they already closed."
A which point, I made the mistake of replying, "Yah, I may be a computer nerd but it allows me to get nice things like this watch." At which point I show him my Versace watch. An expensive one I might add.
He looks at the watch and within 5 seconds pronounces, "That's not real."
"What makes you think my watch isn't real?"
"Because it has scratches on it."
"Are you talking about the scratches on the metal band of my watch?"
"Yah, and plus that ugly thing doesn't even look expensive."
I will point out, that my Versace watch is a stainless steel watch that is Swiss-made. It has a sapphire crystal which doesn't get scratched very easily but the metal can and has light scratches on it. Nothing that can't be buffed out by a professional jeweler for cheap. The point is, at this comment I was astounded. This "janitor" was trying to claim he was a watch authority and his reasoning behind denouncing my watch after a few seconds of visual inspection was because the band had some scratches on it? I was about to just let it slide... I shrugged my shoulders and turned back to my friend with the computer problems when the janitor opened his mouth again...
"I'm sure you might find some stupid young girls you can impress with that fake thing but if you saw my watch you'd know it was real and worth some dough."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because it has bling and there isn't a scratch on it."
"That's because it's either new or you don't wear it much. Real watches get scratched."
"Don't go talking sh!t about what you don't know and it's obvious you don't know jack about watches."
At this point since he was getting his voice loud a few of the other employees that haven't left yet and the manager comes wandering over to see what the commotion is all about.
"Trust me, your watch is not indestructible it can be scratched." was my reply.
"Hell NO it can't be scratch muthafuka. Sh!t I can rub that thing over the pavement, drag it along a brick wall and there isn't a mark on it. I've had it for 7 years and it looks brand new like the day I bought it."
Usually, I'd try to let it go, but since he seemed to be getting into the spirit of insulting my intelligence as the janitor in front of a small crowd of employees at the store. I figured I might as well shut him up because arguing about it wasn't going to do any good. I had nothing to gain at this point by proving my watch was real. However, maybe it's manly ego but I don't like my intelligence insulted by a janitor trying to front. Maybe it was the fact I've been a bit disgruntled by customers yesterday, but for whatever reason I decided to put this janitor to the "test." Luckily, I sold off my old car the day before and hadn't deposited the money yet in my bank. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet.
"Here's a nice, crisp, brand new $100 bill in my hand that says I can scratch the crap out of your watch." I said this while flashing one of the bills I got for selling my old car.
"Muthafuka, you don't want to do that because I'm going to end up taking that $100 and you are going to hate me for it."
"Nope, I know for a fact I can put a scratch on any watch you bring me and I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is."
At this point, I can almost see the gears grinding in his head and his eyes sparkling with dollar signs. He hasn't yet realized the clever trap I had devised in a flash for him.
"Why stop at $100 then if you are putting your money where your mouth is? I KNOW my watch can't be scratched but I can sure use an extra $500 in my pocket."
"$500? Sure no problem." I said as I pulled four more $100 bills from my wallet to show him.
At this point he was literally grinning from ear to ear! He was giggling while reaching into his pocket to dig out a cell phone. He called his girl saying they are going out tomorrow night since he's going to have an extra $500 to spend! At this point, my fellow employees are looking almost completely dumbstruck as to the situation that just unfolded. Most had a worried look for me, because not many of them like the janitor fellow at all and didn't want to see me lose money to him. I just calmly kept every emotion I could off my face. I had a plan.
Well, yesterday went away, and today arrived.
I brought along something I was going to use to "scratch" his precious watch with. Now, truth be told, I knew exactly what was going to happen, but I had a heart so decided I was going to give him every out I could possibly think of. Not that I would mind being $500 richer, it's just I didn't really have it in me to teach someone that harsh a lesson. Truthfully I didn't think he would remember or even bring the watch. Or perhaps have a change of mind himself and think better of his actions. Or perhaps realize the stupidity of the bet and that there was no way he was going to win. Seriously? I didn't think there was anyone stupid enough to think any watch was scratch proof.
Well, the day ends and he arrives to clean the place like clockwork. He's on the cell phone talking loudly with someone again when he spots me hurries over to my location. He comes up with a big grin on his face and I knew right then and there that he really was that dumb. It was like watching a moth fly to the flame.
"You got my $500?"
"I brought $500 but it's not going anywhere, did you bring $500?"
"Why should I? I'm not going to lose. Here, let me show you by warming the watch up to show you."
At this point he takes a watch that he's never worn before off his wrist and starts rubbing it on the floor.
"See, not a scratch on it."
"The floor isn't what I had in mind to use to scratch your watch with. I have something else in my locker I need to get out."
"Well, give me a few minutes to do my work and then I'll take my $500 bucks and go party."
"Take all the time you need, but seriously if you insist on betting me you need to put your money where your mouth is and bring $500 to the table to bet with even if you are so sure you are going to walk away with my cash."
"If you are going to play that way I'll go over to the ATM and bring out $500. Not that it's going to make any difference but if makes you feel better about losing your cash it's no sweat to me."
At this point he goes back to talking on his cell phone and heads over to the janitor closet to get his tools to do his job for the night. Since we closed the same workers that were with me last night are here tonight as well. They wander over to me and ask what I was going to do? At this point I reveal my plan to each and every one and see the look of shock spread to their faces. Why they should be shocked I have no idea. They couldn't seriously have believed him over me could they??? I guess they did because that was the expression on all their faces. So I head over to my locker, get out my secret weapon and tuck it into the back of my pants under my shirt.
Finally, after the janitor gets done with cleaning he comes up to me and says, "Okay time to warm this thing up some more for you, I don't want you thinking there was anyway I cheated you out of that cash."
"Do whatever you like, but seriously I'm about to give you some options."
He doesn't bother to look at me as he starts rubbing his watch along the cinderblock wall and the metal edges of a shelf. He asks while rubbing, "What options?"
"One, I've told every single person standing here and watching this event what is about to happen, and how I can guarantee I can put a scratch on your real watch with ease. So in order to save face, I'll let you drop the bet."
At this point his face gets a bit angry as he snaps his head back in my direction and takes his mind off rubbing his watch on inanimate objects.
"Are you trying to get out of our bet muthafuka? I knew you were a pussi, and didn't have it in you. Oh, I'm not letting you out of this bet because I want my $500."
"Seriously, I'm not trying to drop the bet. Just prevent you from being mad when your watch gets scratched because you can't win this bet."
"Oh I'm going to win, and then I'm going to laugh at you for being stupid."
At his last comment I was seriously reaching my limit at keeping my cool, but I still kept calm as I made one last out for him.
"Well, I'm not backing out, but I am going to give you the option of handing over the $500 right now instead of letting you rub your watch over what I got and damaging it."
"Are you a retard??? Don't you see me rubbing this watch all over this crap and nothing is scratching it? There isn't a damn thing you have that would scratch this watch, so there is no way in hell I'm just going to give you $500 first."
I give an exasperated sigh and shake my head. At this point my fellow coworkers start chiming in to him that he should seriously just back away and drop the bet. That there was no way he could win this. I think it only egg'd him on further now that I think about it. Oh well. I finally reach behind my back and pull out my DMT 10" diamond grit sharpening stone. Was it a little unfair of me not tell him what I had in my hand? The expression on his face with that greedy lust in his eyes was enough to spur me on at this point. I hold it up for him to see in plain view what was in my hand. There were no marking on it to proclaim what it was.
"What the hell is that?"
"Oh something, that will put a scratch on that silly watch of yours."
"Let me see it." He says as he snatches it out of my hand.
Now, I'm not sure you, as the reader of this discourse, have ever felt a diamond sharpening stone before. Especially a fine 2000 grit one before. It basically feels fairly smooth to your flesh. Unless you know what it is, there is no way of knowing that it's coated in diamond dust because the human skin can't feel abrasiveness that fine unless it is used on skin in a filing motion long enough to start removing a lot of layers.
"Sh!t son, this thing couldn't scratch the paint off my car, and you somehow think it's going to scratch my watch? Time to teach you a lesson and get my $500."
If only he hadn't said that comment, I was going to let him use the bottom of the metal band.
"If you are so confident, use the crystal face instead muthafuka." I said as I used his own crude language back at him. "It's made of sapphire if it's a real watch isn't it? If it's made of sapphire that means it is even more impossible to scratch then that metal band right?"
"Hell yes it is! You think I'm a cheap a$$ and have some crappy watch like yours? This is $2000 Rado my friend."
At this point he puts the face of the watch to the stone and starts rubbing vigorously against it for a few seconds. He pulls the watch away and lo and behold the face is now completely unreadable. It is gouged like only a diamond sharpening stone could gouge a sapphire.
The sheer look of shock on his face with his jaw dropped and his eyes bulging wide in their sockets would have been payment enough for me. But since he had to push me past my limits of patience I wanted my money.
So here I am, typing this story for your amusement and I have $500 extra in my pocket. Tomorrow is my day off too! Whatever I do tomorrow, it's going to be fun with an extra $500 to spend.
) guy, but some muthafckas just need to learn a lesson.
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