Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson

Frenchie

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 22, 1999
2,255
0
0
Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to the population for my act of copulation. I gave in to temptation, for the anticipation of sexual gratification, that I could not obtain through masturbation, resulted in my fornication. I accepted her invitation, and provided her with excitation, stimulation, penetration, replication, and liberation.
She provided lubrication (to avoid inflammation) and I wore condoms to avoid contamination. She cried for duplication but I insisted upon termination, in spite her fascination with variation.
This has caused me great aggravation, and the agitation and provocation of the media has resulted in my humiliation, denigration, and degradation. My wife is considering castration, which would require my hospitalization.
Pray that this matter will find culmination in my sanctification
and rehabilitation so that my plans for nomination to my ultimate
vocation will not result in revocation and termination. I hope this
proclamation has provided illumination and verification and will prohibit further provocation.

Sincerely,
The Rev. Jesse Jackson







Disclaimer: Just a joke, not meant to offend. :)
 

Balt

Lifer
Mar 12, 2000
12,673
482
126
You forgot to throw the word &quot;disenfranchised&quot; in there about 5000 times.


Funny stuff. ;)
 

Emos

Golden Member
Oct 27, 2000
1,989
0
0
LOL Frenchie! There was a similar bit on Howard Sterns show and the guy imitating Reverend Jacksons voice was dead-on :)
 

Static911

Diamond Member
Nov 24, 2000
4,338
1
0
o, this is definately a 12 out of a 1-10 scale. This is outstounding. <Stands up and applauds>

Static911
 

iamwiz82

Lifer
Jan 10, 2001
30,772
13
81
i think its horrible how you have to add that disclaimer that you arent trying to offend anyone. damned PC. Great bit. lol
 

BadMuleS

Senior member
Jul 30, 2000
875
0
0
omfg that was some of the most funnies crizzap ive heard in weeks thanks for the piss in my PANTS buddy!