Psychology of relationships, this doesn't make sense.

[Looney]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: fyleow
Psychologically things that are rare or hard to obtain have a higher level of desirability. So the thing that a lot of people say "Ignore her and she will come crawling back to you" does make sense. If you hand your heart/love/affection on a silver platter and she doesn't have to work for it then she is not going to want it. So if you don't tell her that you like her or shower her with attention then how are things going to hit off?! I mean you're kinda screwed if you don't and screwed if you do.

Part of your problem is that she's already a friend, which means that she's already got you categorized into a pigeonhole and she sees you in a certain way, in that "friend mode". At this point, when you start showering her with your heart/love/affection, your cause is already lost. Several points:

She needs to be at least somewhat attracted by your physical appearance and by your personality.
You need to effortlessly show self-confidence.
You need to show her that you're attracted to her, mentally and physically. Not tell her, show her.
You need to flirt with her, to get her to see you as more than a friend.

It is not easy to go from being her friend to being her boyfriend. In some cases, however, it is possible. Good luck.

Naw, i don't beileve that. I think it's a myth. I think two people, friends, can talk to one another about a relationship and whether it can go further or not. If they decide not, i think the relationship can continue as friends just fine. At least this has been my experience and those that i've witnessed. This is as long as you don't seem obessive or desperate about it.

The problem comes into is that once you do get into a more serious relationship, if it doesn't work out... then more than likely, that relationship is over, including the friendship.

 

[TommyVercetti]

I don't play any such games or mind tricks with my girl friend, neither does she. Relationship is going just fine. Just fine meaning that there are no arguments or anything. There is how ever disagreement over something, and she says that she will break up with me for that.

 

[fyleow]

..

 

[LordMaul]

Relationships do not make sense. They were not meant to - seemingly, they were meant to mess with your head and make you do things you never wanted to do.

 

[Looney]

Moralpanic, there is a lot of truth to your words. I've talked to her about it before and she said that she liked me and considered me more than the average friend but didn't want to "lose all we already have". Whether or not that is just a gentle rejection I don't really know.

That is her gentle rejection. I suggest you get over her as a possible gf and look somewhere else.

 

[IGBT]

Sounds crazy....