To all prospective Don Juan's out there who believe themselves to have absolute, inexorable, control over the opposite gender, who believe that any female is but a beck, call, or whistle away, who think that they've diminished, broken, and all but mastered the enigma of all that is woman: You haven't.
The gap between the two genders is all but infinite. There is no fine line, no grey area - there is a gaping chasm between man and woman that manifests itself in gentler, subtler ways as an inability to communicate, frustration, misunderstandings, and distrust. To the imbeciles shaking their heads condescendingly, thinking: "me and my girlfriend are different, she's exactly like me, she understands everything about me, as i do her" - you'll realize your idiocy of your thoughts sooner than you think. But to those with a little experience, who have given and taken love, received and lost ? we see that such circumstances are far from ideal. Why the hell would you want someone identical to yourself? Furthermore, why would you want to be in close proximity with such a person, let alone a relationship, if they were to exist? It'd be like a friend you hate, one who's faults you see clearly and exaggerated, only because you can't stand the fact that you carry those exact same weaknesses, those same detestable traits. You'll compete, you'll become spiteful, you'll lose sight of everything but your anger and bitterness ? and you'll fall apart.
The greatest couples in the world should fight, passionately. They should argue heatedly, implacable in thinking, giving no ground and taking advantage of every waver in thought or a lessening in will. But they should never grow angry with frustration, never bitter with regret or remorse. They should have some ridiculous sex, full of barely-lucrative positioning and creative accessories though, but that's another topic. The woman that fulfills you should be the yin to your yang, the blessing to your anathema, the redemption for your every failure. She should NOT be the sheep that knows only the direction of your rod (pun
), the one that forgoes her own identity in some bizarre, unholy quest to secure (read: hamper) yours. If it?s companionship you need, get a dog. If it?s sex, and you?re selecting the woman who you want to spend the rest of your life with that sole quality in mind, you had a pretty damn lacking college experience, you?re gay, or you?re just plain sad. In which case none of those applies to you anyway, so feel free to step out.
Those still sneering about their own unique, matchless relationship, carving into the heavens a flawless, ivory statue of their 'one true love': the only thing you share with your woman is your immaturity. And possibly not even that, if she has already outgrown you and seen the truth: that a man and a woman are not mean to be identical in action, thought, or motive - and that none of these are necessary for love. What is necessary, what is essential, what should be all-consuming in it's pursuit ? is patience.
Patience is the only thing that can make your bond with another indestructible. That, and blood ? but I hope that in this case, it?s irrelevant. Patience is what keeps you coming back home every night, even after coming to the realization that there?s not one single damn thing the two of you have in common. It?s what keeps you sane even after you?ve humbly poured out your soul to her, leaked out a tear or two, shouted and pleaded ? and still she stares blankly. It?s what breeds trust, fosters and nurtures your love, and keeps you from becoming blinded by your own selfishness, self-righteousness, and need for self-fulfillment above all things. When all else is lost, when your failures, mistakes, and shame lies spread across the floor for the world to see, your pride shattered and all ambitions, all dreams gone with its passing ? her patience is what keeps her by your side to lift you up again while everyone else is casting scornful gazes through scrutinizing, discriminating eyes. Love is nothing without patience, too many of us have experienced the truth of that firsthand. How many of us still find ourselves hopelessly tied to another, even though mistrust and misunderstanding have become all but a mantra between we and her? There?s no greater proof of character than patience, and one who possesses it in full finds nothing impossible. Patience to listen, patience to change, patience to grow, patience to make things work, patience to try to understand ? everything becomes trivial in comparison.
This seems somewhat proselytizing, and has skewed somewhat from its original intent, but it?s good to hear anyway. Simply stated, and made somewhat relevant: For those posting novel-length, emotional YAGTs: stop trying to understand and define her, and stop trying to carve her into an image of yourself. You need to be able to accept her, and she you ? and then, and only then, after all that has been acknowledged, AND you still find that you truly still care about her and she about you, do you have something, anything at all on which to lay a foundation for love. The two sexes were never meant to be alike, nor to come anywhere near a full understanding of one another. Learn true patience for one another, and discover what it means to be completely fulfilled and have an unspeakable, unshakeable bond ? one that doesn?t erode beneath pressure or disturbance, one that doesn?t break when tapped at a brittle, insecure point, one that doesn?t sway with the highs and lows of your relationship that have and will continue to happen.
The gap between the two genders is all but infinite. There is no fine line, no grey area - there is a gaping chasm between man and woman that manifests itself in gentler, subtler ways as an inability to communicate, frustration, misunderstandings, and distrust. To the imbeciles shaking their heads condescendingly, thinking: "me and my girlfriend are different, she's exactly like me, she understands everything about me, as i do her" - you'll realize your idiocy of your thoughts sooner than you think. But to those with a little experience, who have given and taken love, received and lost ? we see that such circumstances are far from ideal. Why the hell would you want someone identical to yourself? Furthermore, why would you want to be in close proximity with such a person, let alone a relationship, if they were to exist? It'd be like a friend you hate, one who's faults you see clearly and exaggerated, only because you can't stand the fact that you carry those exact same weaknesses, those same detestable traits. You'll compete, you'll become spiteful, you'll lose sight of everything but your anger and bitterness ? and you'll fall apart.
The greatest couples in the world should fight, passionately. They should argue heatedly, implacable in thinking, giving no ground and taking advantage of every waver in thought or a lessening in will. But they should never grow angry with frustration, never bitter with regret or remorse. They should have some ridiculous sex, full of barely-lucrative positioning and creative accessories though, but that's another topic. The woman that fulfills you should be the yin to your yang, the blessing to your anathema, the redemption for your every failure. She should NOT be the sheep that knows only the direction of your rod (pun
), the one that forgoes her own identity in some bizarre, unholy quest to secure (read: hamper) yours. If it?s companionship you need, get a dog. If it?s sex, and you?re selecting the woman who you want to spend the rest of your life with that sole quality in mind, you had a pretty damn lacking college experience, you?re gay, or you?re just plain sad. In which case none of those applies to you anyway, so feel free to step out.Those still sneering about their own unique, matchless relationship, carving into the heavens a flawless, ivory statue of their 'one true love': the only thing you share with your woman is your immaturity. And possibly not even that, if she has already outgrown you and seen the truth: that a man and a woman are not mean to be identical in action, thought, or motive - and that none of these are necessary for love. What is necessary, what is essential, what should be all-consuming in it's pursuit ? is patience.
Patience is the only thing that can make your bond with another indestructible. That, and blood ? but I hope that in this case, it?s irrelevant. Patience is what keeps you coming back home every night, even after coming to the realization that there?s not one single damn thing the two of you have in common. It?s what keeps you sane even after you?ve humbly poured out your soul to her, leaked out a tear or two, shouted and pleaded ? and still she stares blankly. It?s what breeds trust, fosters and nurtures your love, and keeps you from becoming blinded by your own selfishness, self-righteousness, and need for self-fulfillment above all things. When all else is lost, when your failures, mistakes, and shame lies spread across the floor for the world to see, your pride shattered and all ambitions, all dreams gone with its passing ? her patience is what keeps her by your side to lift you up again while everyone else is casting scornful gazes through scrutinizing, discriminating eyes. Love is nothing without patience, too many of us have experienced the truth of that firsthand. How many of us still find ourselves hopelessly tied to another, even though mistrust and misunderstanding have become all but a mantra between we and her? There?s no greater proof of character than patience, and one who possesses it in full finds nothing impossible. Patience to listen, patience to change, patience to grow, patience to make things work, patience to try to understand ? everything becomes trivial in comparison.
This seems somewhat proselytizing, and has skewed somewhat from its original intent, but it?s good to hear anyway. Simply stated, and made somewhat relevant: For those posting novel-length, emotional YAGTs: stop trying to understand and define her, and stop trying to carve her into an image of yourself. You need to be able to accept her, and she you ? and then, and only then, after all that has been acknowledged, AND you still find that you truly still care about her and she about you, do you have something, anything at all on which to lay a foundation for love. The two sexes were never meant to be alike, nor to come anywhere near a full understanding of one another. Learn true patience for one another, and discover what it means to be completely fulfilled and have an unspeakable, unshakeable bond ? one that doesn?t erode beneath pressure or disturbance, one that doesn?t break when tapped at a brittle, insecure point, one that doesn?t sway with the highs and lows of your relationship that have and will continue to happen.
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