PSA: Torque (the movie) will make you dumber.

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PrelateBishop

PrelateBishop

Senior member
Jan 10, 2001
350
0
0
Subject: Torque
Type: Rant
Purpose: Saving Mankind

So I'm performing miscellaneous chores around the old homestead and I've left the television on in the background. I am suddenly lured into the living room by the sounds of sportbikes. Low and behold, TNT is showing the movie Torque. Me thinks, "Cool...this outta be good for a chuckle or two."

Long story short, with perhaps the exception of 1998's Lost in Space, I don't know that I have ever seen a more craptacular piece of cinema. This post comes to you now that I am suffering from a room temperature IQ, but I still have enough sense to warn others before they are exposed to this toxin.

Godspeed.
 
Bateluer

Bateluer

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
27,730
8
0
Any movie based around cars, trucks or motorcycles is going to be retarded, its a scientific fact.

 
G

Gatecrasher3

Senior member
Oct 15, 2004
417
0
76
my old boss owns one of the bikes used in the filming of that movie....anyways..

but yhaa i love bikes but i would never watch that crap.
i love cars but fast and the furious 1,2 and 3 made me sick to my stomach.


this is forum #2 about how bad this movie is
Text
 
AbAbber2k

AbAbber2k

Diamond Member
Mar 1, 2005
6,474
1
0
I only saw 5 minutes of this movie... the part at the end where they're driving so fast that car and building windows are exploding as they ride by :roll: ...and that alone was enough to make me feel like an idiot. What's worse, is my friend had sat through the whole thing... purposefully. He's got a hard-on for ricers and The Fast and the Furious and all that sh1t though, so it couldn't have made him TOO much stupider. I had walked into his apt while he was watching and proceeded to make fun of him.
 
T

theprodigalrebel

Lifer
Oct 4, 2004
10,515
6
81
Originally posted by: Gatecrasher3
whats happing that makes it so bad?
i almost want to watch it now to see how bad it is.
Click to expand...

(My memory isn't great but I think...)
The movie as a whole is boring. But the best part? The climax involves this high-speed motorcycle chase. How is it shot? With the camera right behind the tail-pipe, perhaps to create a cool first-person-like view or something - of course, you can't see sh!t. Then, you have motorcycles performing backflips and landing right at ungodly speeds. How does the villain die? His bike starts leaking gas. The hero ignites the gas trail. Then, the villain starts going really fast, so fast that the trail of fire is having a hard time catching up. Finally, dude explodes and the audience slashes the screen with pocket knives out of spite.

Oh, and there is this ridiculous chick-fight on motorcycles. I can't put it in words - it's kinda like this: two chicks face off, revving their engines. They accelerate, hit the front brake to pull off a stoppie...and then swing the bike's ass around to smack the other, or something like that.
 
G

Gatecrasher3

Senior member
Oct 15, 2004
417
0
76
"Oh, and there is this ridiculous chick-fight on motorcycles. I can't put it in words - it's kinda like this: two chicks face off, revving their engines. They accelerate, hit the front brake to pull off a stoppie...and then swing the bike's ass around to smack the other, or something like that."


HAHAAHAAAAHAHHAHAHAAH, are you F'ing kidding me!?!!?? i have to see this thing now!
 
A

Alone

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2006
7,490
0
0
Originally posted by: Gatecrasher3
"Oh, and there is this ridiculous chick-fight on motorcycles. I can't put it in words - it's kinda like this: two chicks face off, revving their engines. They accelerate, hit the front brake to pull off a stoppie...and then swing the bike's ass around to smack the other, or something like that."


HAHAAHAAAAHAHHAHAHAAH, are you F'ing kidding me!?!!?? i have to see this thing now!
Click to expand...

Pretty entertaining scene.
 
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