PSA-To all you prospective parents out there...

[JulesMaximus]

This seemed painfully obvious to me after my son was born but oddly enough I know many people whose children sleep in their bed with them every night. Hell, even our son's pediatrician lets her two kids sleep in their bed...kind of takes her down a notch in credability IMO.

Anyway, I've talked to friends whose wives are pregnant and told them to be firm on this. If you let your children sleep with you at a young age you'll never get them out of your bed until they're teenagers...trust me on this. I've seen it over and over again.

Be very firm on this guys. Just an FYI.

 

[BigJ]

You mean you're supposed to let them inside at night?

 

[OrganizedChaos]

OP rolled over and squished his kid?

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
This seemed painfully obvious to me after my son was born but oddly enough I know many people whose children sleep in their bed with them every night. Hell, even our son's pediatrician lets her two kids sleep in their bed...kind of takes her down a notch in credability IMO.

Anyway, I've talked to friends whose wives are pregnant and told them to be firm on this. If you let your children sleep with you at a young age you'll never get them out of your bed until they're teenagers...trust me on this. I've seen it over and over again.

Be very firm on this guys. Just an FYI.

must be killing the ole sex life.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
This seemed painfully obvious to me after my son was born but oddly enough I know many people whose children sleep in their bed with them every night. Hell, even our son's pediatrician lets her two kids sleep in their bed...kind of takes her down a notch in credability IMO.

Anyway, I've talked to friends whose wives are pregnant and told them to be firm on this. If you let your children sleep with you at a young age you'll never get them out of your bed until they're teenagers...trust me on this. I've seen it over and over again.

Be very firm on this guys. Just an FYI.

I have a few friends who did exactly this and they are paying for it now.

One time I fell asleep in my oldest daughter's room to comfort her. It took my wife and me almost a week for her to be able to calm herself again.

 

[xSauronx]

i just got a divorce (this morning, as a matter of fact) and the kids take turns staying with each of us.

she lets them sleep in her room

and i have one bitch of a time sometimes keeping them out of mine. but im not going to put up with it. my little brother slept with my parents til he was almost 10, fvck that!

 

[Leros]

My mom was really weird and wouldn't give me any independence. Until I was about 10, I had to take showers in my parent's bathroom, my clothes were kept in my parent's bedroom. Whenever my dad was gone on business trips my mom had me sleep in her bedroom. When I was around 10 my dad said enough was enough and "moved" me to my bedroom.

My mom is still kind of weirdly emotionally attached to me. I think its some kind of disorder, but I could be wrong.

 

[Rastus]

Don't worry about it until they learn the word 'threesome'.

 

[Goosemaster]

*cue the snake in the grass jokes*

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: Leros
My mom was really weird and wouldn't give me any independence. Until I was about 10, I had to take showers in my parent's bathroom, my clothes were kept in my parent's bedroom. Whenever my dad was gone on business trips my mom had me sleep in her bedroom. When I was around 10 my dad said enough was enough and "moved" me to my bedroom.

My mom is still kind of weirdly emotionally attached to me. I think its some kind of disorder, but I could be wrong.

:shocked:

 

[Leros]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune

Originally posted by: Leros
My mom was really weird and wouldn't give me any independence. Until I was about 10, I had to take showers in my parent's bathroom, my clothes were kept in my parent's bedroom. Whenever my dad was gone on business trips my mom had me sleep in her bedroom. When I was around 10 my dad said enough was enough and "moved" me to my bedroom.

My mom is still kind of weirdly emotionally attached to me. I think its some kind of disorder, but I could be wrong.

:shocked:

See this thread for more insight on my mother.

 

[AndrewR]

Yep, we knew not to let that happen. In particular, my wife was more adamant than I, and I applaud her for it.

Part of it is practical, however -- we already have a 75lb dog sleeping on the bed at night so there's barely room for me!

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: AndrewR
Yep, we knew not to let that happen. In particular, my wife was more adamant than I, and I applaud her for it.

Part of it is practical, however -- we already have a 75lb dog sleeping on the bed at night so there's barely room for me!

We have a 75lb dog and she sleeps on the floor. There is no way I'd ever let her sleep in our bed. The dog is definitely a second class citizen in our house.

I put my foot down on this (our son, not the dog...the dog was never even a consideration) even though my wife is a big softy and always seems to go with the path of least resistance. My son has been sleeping in his own bedroom since he was 3 months old and started sleeping through the night. Prior to that he was in a basinet in our bedroom but never in our bed...well, on a few occasions my wife let him sleep with us and it took us a good week to break him of that habit the few times we allowed it.

Nope, my bed is for my wife and I. The cat can sleep on our bed but only because she's cuddly and she takes up very little space. :laugh:

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Leros
My mom was really weird and wouldn't give me any independence. Until I was about 10, I had to take showers in my parent's bathroom, my clothes were kept in my parent's bedroom. Whenever my dad was gone on business trips my mom had me sleep in her bedroom. When I was around 10 my dad said enough was enough and "moved" me to my bedroom.

My mom is still kind of weirdly emotionally attached to me. I think its some kind of disorder, but I could be wrong.

Dude, that's fvcked up...

 

[daveymark]

breastfeeding until 10, however, is ok.

 

[CrazyShiz]

Originally posted by: daveymark
breastfeeding until 10, however, is ok.

Just til 10? Heck, I'm 26 and....


...n/m

 

[Bryophyte]

Both of my kids slept in our bed as infants and we had NO PROBLEMS AT ALL. They went to a toddler bed in our bedroom no later than 15-18 months (mattress on floor for safety) and their beds went to their own rooms by about 2 years. We never owned a crib. Our kids didn't sleep with us until they were teenagers. They didn't want us to sleep in their rooms. They didn't get up in the night wanting to sleep with us (even if they were sick). They didn't fight bedtime. They didn't beg us to read them story after story in an effort to get us to stay in their rooms. They didn't cry at night and try to get us to get up and go to their room. Nothing. I also never had to get out of bed and walk to another room to breastfeed a child, so my spouse and I both got pretty good sleep for most of their infancies. Never had to get up every 2-4 hours to nurse, just roll over and plug the kid in, and that was only with my secondborn. My firstborn slept through the night from birth.

Quit making blanket statements about what will happen if infants sleep with parents. It really depends on the family and the child. You can't make a judgement on this, or any, parenting issue for any family but your own. Quit ragging on your friends. Nobody likes to be nagged by outsiders about how to parent their children. Even if they're naive enough to eat up your sage advice, their spouses undoubtedly don't appreciate the interference. Quit trying to come off as some great parenting expert when you only have experience with YOUR children. If someone asks your advice, fine, tell them what your experiences were on the topic they ask about, but otherwise, get off your pulpit.

 

[BigJ]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Both of my kids slept in our bed as infants and we had NO PROBLEMS AT ALL. They went to a toddler bed in our bedroom no later than 15-18 months (mattress on floor for safety) and their beds went to their own rooms by about 2 years. We never owned a crib. Our kids didn't sleep with us until they were teenagers. They didn't want us to sleep in their rooms. They didn't get up in the night wanting to sleep with us (even if they were sick). They didn't fight bedtime. They didn't beg us to read them story after story in an effort to get us to stay in their rooms. They didn't cry at night and try to get us to get up and go to their room. Nothing. I also never had to get out of bed and walk to another room to breastfeed a child, so my spouse and I both got pretty good sleep for most of their infancies. Never had to get up every 2-4 hours to nurse, just roll over and plug the kid in, and that was only with my secondborn. My firstborn slept through the night from birth.

Quit making blanket statements about what will happen if infants sleep with parents. It really depends on the family and the child. You can't make a judgement on this, or any, parenting issue for any family but your own. Quit ragging on your friends. Nobody likes to be nagged by outsiders about how to parent their children. Even if they're naive enough to eat up your sage advice, their spouses undoubtedly don't appreciate the interference. Quit trying to come off as some great parenting expert when you only have experience with YOUR children. If someone asks your advice, fine, tell them what your experiences were on the topic they ask about, but otherwise, get off your pulpit.

I didn't read anything in his post about infants. I think he was talking about once kids are old enough to get up out of their beds and try to climb into yours.

 

[spidey07]

Completely agree. You have to nip that stuff in the bud.

Got a few friends in this predicament. They can't get the kid out of their bed, and the kids are like 5-6 years old. The excuse is "well they don't sleep well in their own beds".

No crap. Maybe if you hadn't enabled this behavior from birth you would be in this position!

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: BigJ
I didn't read anything in his post about infants. I think he was talking about once kids are old enough to get up out of their beds and try to climb into yours.

He said young children. I think kids under 18 months are "young children". In another post, he said "My son has been sleeping in his own bedroom since he was 3 months old and started sleeping through the night. Prior to that he was in a basinet in our bedroom but never in our bed...well, on a few occasions my wife let him sleep with us and it took us a good week to break him of that habit the few times we allowed it. Nope, my bed is for my wife and I."

 

[Tobolo]

I could never let an infant sleep with us. There has been to many times I have seen on the news, and a few from people I know personally, of parents rolling over at night and smothering the infant. There has been some small talk at the capital of making it a crimnal offense if a child dies in this manner, since the parents were obviously neglectful.

 

[Queasy]

My two start out in their own bed but end up in our bed some time between 3AM and 6AM...nightmares and whatever.

 

[Gunslinger08]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Both of my kids slept in our bed as infants and we had NO PROBLEMS AT ALL. They went to a toddler bed in our bedroom no later than 15-18 months (mattress on floor for safety) and their beds went to their own rooms by about 2 years. We never owned a crib. Our kids didn't sleep with us until they were teenagers. They didn't want us to sleep in their rooms. They didn't get up in the night wanting to sleep with us (even if they were sick). They didn't fight bedtime. They didn't beg us to read them story after story in an effort to get us to stay in their rooms. They didn't cry at night and try to get us to get up and go to their room. Nothing. I also never had to get out of bed and walk to another room to breastfeed a child, so my spouse and I both got pretty good sleep for most of their infancies. Never had to get up every 2-4 hours to nurse, just roll over and plug the kid in, and that was only with my secondborn. My firstborn slept through the night from birth.

Quit making blanket statements about what will happen if infants sleep with parents. It really depends on the family and the child. You can't make a judgement on this, or any, parenting issue for any family but your own. Quit ragging on your friends. Nobody likes to be nagged by outsiders about how to parent their children. Even if they're naive enough to eat up your sage advice, their spouses undoubtedly don't appreciate the interference. Quit trying to come off as some great parenting expert when you only have experience with YOUR children. If someone asks your advice, fine, tell them what your experiences were on the topic they ask about, but otherwise, get off your pulpit.

How did you and your husband share intimacy for those 2 years per child? Not just sexual intimacy. 2 years times 2 children is 4 years of your life and marriage that you couldn't be intimate in your own bedroom?

 

[Aharami]

isnt this a no-brainer?

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: joshsquall
How did you and your husband share intimacy for those 2 years per child? Not just sexual intimacy. 2 years times 2 children is 4 years of your life and marriage that you couldn't be intimate in your own bedroom?

2 children in bed with us for under 3 years total. You can be intimate all day long, and you're still in bed together, if you're refering to non-sexual intimacy. I slept with an arm around the baby almost always, so I was touching my spouse with my arm if baby was between us, and cuddled up against him if baby was on the outside (and baby was well away from the edge of the bed so we were nice and close.) The other time, a bit over a year total, that they were in our room in a separate bed, well, plenty of parents have kids in their rooms in a crib for part of their lives. My kids were only babies for a short time in their lives and once it's over, it's over. I have no regrets about it at all. Any problems we might've had in our marriage were not related to kids being in bed with us.