I went out with a girl three times. On the fourth time we went to an Indian restauraunt. After the date was awkward, and then the next morning she told me she just wanted to be friends. I thought that I had been a boring conversationalist, or had maybe not opened a door, or maybe even offering to pay was too much (she is pretty feminist). Nope, this is what she wrote:
Let me start this blog by mentioning that I am well aware that I used to be one of the inconsiderate (although I'm sure I lapse back from time to time now). As an undergrad I was quite accustomed to others providing me with free alcohol, and it never really occurred to me to buy bottles for mine and my friends' consumption. Then I started hosting pre-parties for sorority functions, and realized just how big an impact it made when girls didn't chip money in or bring something themselves. Especially when the same ones"forgot" repeatedly.
Yet that was one instance, and I have since tried to extend what I believe to be a basic level of courtesy in many areas. Yet, lately I've been noticing an overall lack of courtesy with a lot of people I know. It's more just being unaware of their impact on others than a purposeful neglect, but when the same people repeatedly display this type of behavior, it really gets me thinking about said person's overall values. To give you some examples:
1) I went on a date to an Indian restaurant, where they serve curries with a relatively small portion of rice. Now, most people I know when sharing dishes such as mentioned above, might take a relatively small amount of rice then with a bunch of curry, out of consideration to the others they're sharing it with. Not this guy- he took about half the plate of rice, and continued to down it plain- no curry. And yes, you can bet I read into that action- and promptly stopped dating him. That may seem brash, but really, if you're not even going to be considerate to me on our first few dates, how the heck are you going to be with a relationship??
oh well, her loss, *shrug*
Let me start this blog by mentioning that I am well aware that I used to be one of the inconsiderate (although I'm sure I lapse back from time to time now). As an undergrad I was quite accustomed to others providing me with free alcohol, and it never really occurred to me to buy bottles for mine and my friends' consumption. Then I started hosting pre-parties for sorority functions, and realized just how big an impact it made when girls didn't chip money in or bring something themselves. Especially when the same ones"forgot" repeatedly.
Yet that was one instance, and I have since tried to extend what I believe to be a basic level of courtesy in many areas. Yet, lately I've been noticing an overall lack of courtesy with a lot of people I know. It's more just being unaware of their impact on others than a purposeful neglect, but when the same people repeatedly display this type of behavior, it really gets me thinking about said person's overall values. To give you some examples:
1) I went on a date to an Indian restaurant, where they serve curries with a relatively small portion of rice. Now, most people I know when sharing dishes such as mentioned above, might take a relatively small amount of rice then with a bunch of curry, out of consideration to the others they're sharing it with. Not this guy- he took about half the plate of rice, and continued to down it plain- no curry. And yes, you can bet I read into that action- and promptly stopped dating him. That may seem brash, but really, if you're not even going to be considerate to me on our first few dates, how the heck are you going to be with a relationship??
oh well, her loss, *shrug*
