Protecting my mental health

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
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Last Friday I broke down crying at my Oncology appointment. Between cancer & Covid my life is basically becoming like a living hell. People at my job frequently yell at me when asked if they can show me their Covid vaccine cards or when they are asked to put on a new mask. The CDC & the state make the rules, not me 😢

I was fully vaccinated in January and worry about when I will get a booster shot. I go to work, for cancer treatment and that’s it. I basically live in lockdown. I have horrible nightmare, cry a lot. Deal with treatment related side effects.

my diagnosis is anxiety and major depression and I am going to be getting treatment and support via online therapy visits, just being able to tell someone how I feel is so helpful. I feel a lot of pressure to only focus on the positive, yes, I am “grateful “ to be alive 100% but I miss having a life. Going to a movie, browsIng through a store bargain hunting, going out to a restaurant , hugging friends.

Mental health is important, so please, if you are suffering please seek help & support! I am very glad I was able to finally reach out.
 
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Red Squirrel

No Lifer
May 24, 2003
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Hope you can get better! Mental health is not something to take for granted. I went though depression once and it was a pretty horrible place to be. It's hard to even explain to someone that's never been through it. It's a feeling of sadness and despair that's often so intense it just consumes you. Full lack of motivation to do anything even something as simple as watching TV. And sometimes suicidal thoughts even though you don't actually want to die.
 
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Not trying to make this political about whether we can or should force vaccination - or require it for going places: But my main problem is there is just something severely flawed about passing the onus on to lowly cashiers, business owners, restaurant workers, front desk folks, etc... to try and be the soldiers of enforcement. It doesn't make sense.

It's an authority-based requirement, and thus you need an authority to enforce those types of rules if it's what you desire.

Having someone like you force people to present vaccination cards is just horrible =/

Try not to let it get to you, but thats obviously way easier said than done. You're obviously a trooper.
 
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Red Squirrel

No Lifer
May 24, 2003
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The whole mask thing needs to be an honour system. Businesses and workers should not be the ones on the hook to enforce it. If you get a few people who don't want to wear a mask to me it's easier to just let them be than to start a huge scene but the way it is now because their job or entire business is on the line they don't have a choice. There's even been situations where people have been shot and killed over a mask. It's ridiculous really. Workers don't get paid enough to deal with that crap.
 
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Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
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The whole thing is just so hard, I care about people, know they worry about their sick family members….but I also have to worry about our in house patients & I have to follow the rules put in place to try to keep everyone safe.

I spend full days in a scrub cap, safety glasses & an N95 mask, my hands reek of hand sanitizer so I get it about being sick of wearing masks…. I try to be polite, I try to be kind but at this point I am just numb 😢
 

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
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I try to be polite, I try to be kind but at this point I am just numb 😢

All kidding aside the time for "nice" has passed.... I realize its in your nature (and its a good thing! :) ) but seriously these people don't rate an ounce of respect from any of us!
 
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Geekbabe

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Not trying to make this political about whether we can or should force vaccination - or require it for going places: But my main problem is there is just something severely flawed about passing the onus on to lowly cashiers, business owners, restaurant workers, front desk folks, etc... to try and be the soldiers of enforcement. It doesn't make sense.

It's an authority-based requirement, and thus you need an authority to enforce those types of rules if it's what you desire.

Having someone like you force people to present vaccination cards is just horrible =/

Try not to let it get to you, but thats obviously way easier said than done. You're obviously a trooper.
I don’t “force “ anyone to produce anything….if you don’t want to show your card or a pic of it on your phone, you are choosing to not visit unless your loved one is in a private room & doesn’t have Covid.

Also, each floor has slightly different rules, I have to call before sending anyone onto a unit & sorry but I am not going to argue with an RN who’s been breaking her/ his butt keeping patients alive
 

Roger Wilco

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Mar 20, 2017
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Therapy works wonders. Just having someone you can talk to without fearing consequences or retaliation is everything.

While it's important to stay grateful, that doesn't mean you can't be simultaneously anxious/depressed/pissed off. We need to acknowledge these natural feelings, and we need others to acknowledge our descriptions of our feelings.

If you not on a medication, it could be helpful to consider a small dose of something, and then adjust to higher doses if you think it is beneficial. I used to take a significant cocktail when life was spiraling, but now I just take a small dose that is more of a placebo.
 
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Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
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Therapy works wonders. Just having someone you can talk to without fearing consequences or retaliation is everything.

While it's important to stay grateful, that doesn't mean you can't be simultaneously anxious/depressed/pissed off. We need to acknowledge these natural feelings, and we need others to acknowledge our descriptions of our feelings.

If you not on a medication, it could be helpful to consider a small dose of something, and then adjust to higher doses if you think it is beneficial. I used to take a significant cocktail when life was spiraling, but now I just take a small dose that is more of a placebo.
I am just burned out, I get meds for anxiety which is probably why I haven’t had a heart attack yet 😂
 

WelshBloke

Lifer
Jan 12, 2005
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At this point I have decided to call security the moment anyone starts getting verbally abusive
Thats what we do. Our ward is supposedly a covid secure area. No visiting unless pre arranged and that's not happening unless there's a real need, everyone gets swabbed before coming onto the ward, patients aren't to leave the ward (if they do they have to be transferred or discharged) unless it's for medical procedures and then they are masked at all times.

We don't have time to debate with people who think the rules don't apply to them, we just ring security.
 

MrSquished

Lifer
Jan 14, 2013
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Good luck. Stay strong. Can you ask for backup where you work so people would be less likely to harass you about wearing a mask?

People are just horrific. Recently they were protesting outside a women's clinic where a lot of women are dealing or have dealt with breast cancer. And they were protesting mask mandates at a clinic full of immuno compromised people!

Fucking mind blowing shit. A certain subset of the population are real shite. I think we all know what they all have in common.
 
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Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
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It takes a special kind of asshole to get up in someone's face about requiring proof of vaccination and masking at a hospital.
Unfortunally, people don’t understand that this virus is airborne & they also don’t understand how contagious the Delta variant is 😢

Also, hospital stays are usually short, if I were an inpatient, bring me a good pillow & warm blanket, iphone,ipad and a charger. Let me rest, sleep and heal please. I don’t want tone of visitors daily.
 
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manly

Diamond Member
Jan 25, 2000
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Isn't OP in the Northeast? Can't imagine the spectacle in the Deep South. :fearscream:

The whole mask thing needs to be an honour system. Businesses and workers should not be the ones on the hook to enforce it. If you get a few people who don't want to wear a mask to me it's easier to just let them be than to start a huge scene but the way it is now because their job or entire business is on the line they don't have a choice. There's even been situations where people have been shot and killed over a mask. It's ridiculous really. Workers don't get paid enough to deal with that crap.
America proved in about 6 weeks that the honor system doesn't work when many people have no honor.

Otherwise I agree that customer-facing workers should not be made to perform duty as security personnel.
 
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ponyo

Lifer
Feb 14, 2002
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Isn't OP in the Northeast? Can't imagine the spectacle in the Deep South. :fearscream:


America proved in about 6 weeks that the honor system doesn't work when many people have no honor.

Otherwise I agree that customer-facing workers should not be made to perform duty as security personnel.
That’s what I don’t understand. Masks are mandatory at hospitals and medical offices here in Atlanta. And they’re very strict with enforcement . I visited multiple hospitals and dental offices last week and this week and it’s 100% mask usage at hospitals. They won’t let you in the building if you’re not wearing mask. It’s just like the airport. Maybe Northerners need Southerners to teach them some manners and respect?
 

Charmonium

Diamond Member
May 15, 2015
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Just remember how incredibly strong you are. But also remember that you can't be strong all of the time. I really don't know what I would do in your situation. I'm on psych disability and I can't even think about working. I even tried volunteering and I couldn't even handle do mindless clerical work at my co-op a couple times per week. And I don't have cancer to deal with.

I just want you to know that I have decades of experience with medical psychotropics. Such drugs tend to affect everyone differently to at least some extent and the range of responses can go from "I'll have no problem going to hell" to "I want to start a religion that worships drug companies.

So the most important thing to remember is never stop experimenting.The first drug they give might work but there's a good chance it won't. If it doesn't, don't stay on it for years. Give it 3 months tops, but much less if you can't handle the side effects during the titration period. More times than not, they will eventually resolve, but if you're not making progress, there's no point in suffering just because "maybe" it will eventually work.

The most popular class of chemicals for anxiety and depression are the SSRIs and if you want to get meds from your GP/PCP, that's probably where you'll start. But be very careful. However qualified and caring they might be, this is ***NOT*** their area of expertise. You will have a much better chance of hitting the jackpot if you go to a reputable psychiatrist.

But even here, it can be a crap shot. Every professional is going to have at least one or two axes in the closet that they like to pull out and grind. Watch out for that. There's also a shortage of shrinks these days but it depends to some extent on where you are. Don't be surprised if you can't get an appointment for a couple of months if at all.

The most important factor though is the quality of the dr/patient relationship. You want someone who doesn't just listens to you but has paid enough attention to what you've told them to be able to ask insightful questions. If as soon as you say "anxiety and depression" they pull out their script pad, go someplace else. Just be aware that after your initial intake, med management appointments are no more than 15 minutes. That's fine if you want to rely purely on meds but nobody does that. I do, but I'm weird.

That means that for your treatment and med changes to go smoothly, make sure that your doc and therapist will be able to work together. Honestly, from the people I know, that's not usually how it works, but I think you'll be much happier doing it that way and hopefully will be one less source of potential drama or conflict.

I'm not going to talk about any specific meds since we're nowhere near that right now. I CAN give you a couple of OTC supplements that you might want to try in the meantime though. But this is getting pretty long so let me know if that interests you.

I will now, momentarily, ignore what I just said. The part about the nightmares caught my attention. My ex used to have terrifyingly vivid nightmares. This was a while ago but I believe the only thing that ended up helping was a prescription antihistamine of all things - cyproheptadine.

Feel free to PM me. I'm happy to chat via text, FB Messenger, email, etc.

Also, since you seem to be open to the idea of therapy, you might also want to visit whatever support groups are available in your area. DBSA would be my first choice - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. They're national and reputable.
 

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
59,121
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Come on lady...just man the fuck up...rub some dirt on and get on with getting on!


Seriously, I can't imagine the hardships you endure between the "C", living with Red Dawn, and the work bullshit. (Posted in rank of difficulty, from worst to not quite as worst. :p

Hang in there...hopefully we'll be done with this COVID shit soon. (Yes, it would probably be a lot sooner if everyone who CAN vaccinate, did so...and those who can't get the jab, be extra safe and mask up.)
 

skyking

Lifer
Nov 21, 2001
20,314
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Internet safe hugs to you, Geekbabe. Thank you for the reminder to take care of ourselves.
 
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PowerEngineer

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2001
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Not trying to make this political about whether we can or should force vaccination - or require it for going places: But my main problem is there is just something severely flawed about passing the onus on to lowly cashiers, business owners, restaurant workers, front desk folks, etc... to try and be the soldiers of enforcement. It doesn't make sense.

It's an authority-based requirement, and thus you need an authority to enforce those types of rules if it's what you desire.

Having someone like you force people to present vaccination cards is just horrible =/

Try not to let it get to you, but thats obviously way easier said than done. You're obviously a trooper.
It seems to me that the main problem these days is that there are too many uncivil people who belligerently refuse to comply with reasonable societal norms, and insist that they should have a right to do whatever they please without consequences. If someone decides that they do not want to comply with the rules for entry into the hospital then they should expect to be turned away. IMHO it is these belligerent people that are severely flawed.
 

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
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Maybe Northerners need Southerners to teach them some manners and respect?
ROTFL. Seriously just stop. o_O


Not only is this wildly inaccurate but continuing to say it over and over is counter-productive at best. Either embrace the mass douche-baggery of the mainly GOP-led southern states voters -OR- come to grips with idiots IN YOUR STATE and do something to change it.

Nearly everyone in CT at least is masked up everywhere never mind in a hospital and although there are at least few a$$hole's anywhere you go/look, in the Northeast they are few and far between far as Covid goes.

Can't say the same about the South apparently based on the numbers
rather then bruised feelings or moronic politics.
 

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