Problems regarding socializing.

[kyrax12]

Some of the things I have noticed in myself and other people when I tried to socialize:

1. Not keeping eye contact

Averting eye contact occasionally during a conversation is ok. However, prolonged aversion seems to give the indication of rudeness and/or disinterest.

2. Something on someone's face

Make sure to keep hygiene to a maximum. Most people don't like to see a booger on a face or nose hair sticking out. It is a distraction.

3. Not articulating.

It is kind of a turn off for people to keep giving one word answers. Articulation in a conversation is pivotal in demonstrating one's social skills. I have noticed people that exhibits great social skills are usually very articulate.

4. Probing too deep into someone's personal life/issues

Mind your own business would be the term here. Don't ask too many questions regarding someone's personal life. Instead, if curiosity is too much for the cat to bear then ask indirect questions and hopefully it would lead to answers that are somewhat relevant to what you want answer. Be discreet.

5. Talking too much

When someone is not talking back or if they are just looking down and are giving one word answers, it is a sign to back off.

6. Interruption
Don't speak when someone is talking and don't do anything that would cause an interruption while someone is talking.


May update more. What do you guys think? Are these the most common problems regarding socialization?

 

[SlitheryDee]

My problem has always been giving a shit about what the other person is saying. Seriously, people go on and on about stuff that I find it hard to believe even they are interested in. I don't give a fuck and trying to fake interest is one of the most wearying endeavors I can think of. I don't care what your sister does for a living or how tall your grass is or whether you think it has rained a lot or what you feed your cat or how entertaining you think "Swamp People" is or how smart your children are. Furthermore, I don't think you care about any of those parts of my life either. The difference between us is that I'm not going to subject you to them.

 

[yhelothar]

7. Trying to follow too many rules in regards to socialization instead of following principles and wisdom. This results in superficial interactions.

 

[lxskllr]

Fixating on boobs when talking to women. It's irresistible, like a moth to a light bulb :^D

 

[blankslate]

Fixating on boobs when talking to women. It's irresistible, like a moth to a light bulb :^D

Especially when they're wearing something that shows off the cleavage... I swear keeping eye contact when it feels like there's anchors trying to pull your gaze down feels like a Herculean effort.

 

[MaxPayne63]

Especially when they're wearing something that shows off the cleavage... I swear keeping eye contact when it feels like there's anchors trying to pull your gaze down feels like a Herculean effort.

Combine that with some sort of pendant or dangling necklace.

Jesus christ how do women not control the world. Boobs are practically mind control devices.

 

[Iron Woode]

Especially when they're wearing something that shows off the cleavage... I swear keeping eye contact when it feels like there's anchors trying to pull your gaze down feels like a Herculean effort.

then they complain about men treating women like sex objects.

if you don't want guys ogling your tits, stop showing them off.

 

[BoomerD]

WTF are you afraid of? They're just people...

 

[tcsenter]

Meh, if chicks did not want you to look at their boobies, they'd cover them up. I mean, they can't fucking have it both ways. If I went-out in a pair of shorts that were so fucking tight in the groin that my balls squeezed through, or even better, I installed some kind of ball pusher-outer harness to make them jut-out even more, I'm not going to go "Hey, eyes up here....I'm up here!"

 

[Fayd]

Some of the things I have noticed in myself and other people when I tried to socialize:

1. Not keeping eye contact

Averting eye contact occasionally during a conversation is ok. However, prolonged aversion seems to give the indication of rudeness and/or disinterest.

i actually tend to look directly at a person's eyes. then my eyes tend to shift from focusing on them, to behind them, to on them...

 

[Sluggo]

My problem has always been giving a shit about what the other person is saying. Seriously, people go on and on about stuff that I find it hard to believe even they are interested in. I don't give a fuck and trying to fake interest is one of the most wearying endeavors I can think of. I don't care what your sister does for a living or how tall your grass is or whether you think it has rained a lot or what you feed your cat or how entertaining you think "Swamp People" is or how smart your children are. Furthermore, I don't think you care about any of those parts of my life either. The difference between us is that I'm not going to subject you to them.

This is me, my attention span is about 15 seconds when people start prattling on about meaningless crap.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

One thing I've noticed in an alarming number of people is that they can't seem to take the hint when a conversation is over or when someone doesn't want to talk (too busy, other things on their mind, etc). I have a couple of people here at my work who will come to your desk and they just won't shut up and always have to throw in little comments about how they've done x, y, or z and how much of a bigshot they were at their last gigs. Even when I don't look at them and just respond with things like "Uh huh," they keep talking and won't go away.

So OP, don't be like those people.

 

[SithSolo1]

I have a hard time maintaining eye contact with anyone, including family and close friends. I'm also the opposite of very articulate and prone to short, direct responses. I am fail at socializing.

 

[Mixolydian]

I used to have really bad social anxiety. Then when I was in my teens, I adopted the "Everyone can go fuck themselves" mentality and I've been fine with socializing ever since.

 

[ShawnD1]

My problem has always been giving a shit about what the other person is saying. Seriously, people go on and on about stuff that I find it hard to believe even they are interested in. I don't give a fuck and trying to fake interest is one of the most wearying endeavors I can think of. I don't care what your sister does for a living or how tall your grass is or whether you think it has rained a lot or what you feed your cat or how entertaining you think "Swamp People" is or how smart your children are. Furthermore, I don't think you care about any of those parts of my life either. The difference between us is that I'm not going to subject you to them.

I wonder what percentage of people have brain damage. They have no idea how little you care about their cat or the wedding they attended last week.

 

[Mixolydian]

I wonder what percentage of people have brain damage. They have no idea how little you care about their cat or the wedding they attended last week.

People like to talk about themselves. Most people are pretty self-centered.

 

[Vdubchaos]

OP

Socializing might not be your cup of tea. It's not for everyone.

You should probably figure out what it is that you like/enjoy in life. Don't "socialize" because "everyone is doing it".

I was never very social. During teenage years I became very social (mostly due to fact that I was blind and followed others). After that, I kind of had no choice with 3 careers and dozen of places I worked at over the years. It's easier when you have no choice and I've learned to do a great job. Heck, most people that meet me think I'm very outgoing and outspoken. I guess you can say outspoken part is true, but I'm quite the opposite of outgoing. I'm more of a stay at home kind of a guy.

I simply found that about myself over the years. I enjoy quite/peace and comfort of my house.

I hate places that are full of people (even though I do quite well in them).....deep inside I just don't enjoy such environments and it doesn't make me happy. Also I find that many of the "outgoing" types of people are fake, self absorbed and really have no life (unless you call partying, alcohol/drugs and chasing pussy/dick all day a life). Of course these people have TONS of "friends" that do nothing but back stab them and talk shit about each other. It's almost like most people are stuck in middle school/high school.

When you have kids, you seem to look at these things in a different way. Quite the opposite of "cool".

Personally I think socializing is over rated and certainly not for everyone.